


How to Train Your Idiot Roommate

by malfoyisme



Category: Fence (Comics)
Genre: Accidental First Kiss, Aiden is Best Boi, Although he's a little sHIT, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Ballroom Dancing, Bobby is Doing His Best, But will he USE it, Eugesse, Explicit Language, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, I only swear a lot does that count as explicit???, I promise, Kally is a total hippie, Kally said it's Nick's turn on the braincell, Lots of Angst, M/M, Monica Lewinsky - Freeform, Never thought that'd be a tag but here we go lol, Nicholas ain't too good at them either, RIP guess we'll find out, Seiji Katayama Is Bad At Feelings, Tanner is an Eagle Scout, We can only hope, What Have I Done, YES IT'S FINALLY DONE, almost there, but it gets better, or is that like a sexual thing, shameless references to Naruto, you cannot convince me otherwise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2020-05-15 00:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 46,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19284685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoyisme/pseuds/malfoyisme
Summary: "Hey, can it, shoujo.""What did you just call me?""Shoujo. It's one of the two filters people see you through.""And the other 'filter', you say?""Satan."





	1. Agreement

**Author's Note:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHA Oh my god 
> 
>  
> 
> Silk Scarf was supposed to come before this, but that one is on the side burner right now so hold on, folks! :D It'll still definitely get posted but for now, let's roll with a fic I can finish faster and I hope you'll enjoy as much, if not more so than PLPF. Which you should read, btw - if you haven't!

Kings Row had a few formal events every year, some with Exton and accompanying girls’ private schools, usually to keep the boys “socialized” and able to talk with women. Seiji found it to be a waste of time, and if attendance wasn’t checked and sent to his father, he would have happily skipped. Holding the flyer that had been taped to his door, Seiji felt himself crumple it in frustration as he would have to prepare to spend hours of his precious time in a room full of people he didn’t care to learn about. Not that anyone in particular was bad, it was just an exhausting experience having to be in diplomat mode like his father expected. Clutching the door handle with a bit more aggression than intended, Seiji felt a sudden tug from the other side and abruptly fell in.  _ Damn it.  _ Looking up as he caught himself on the very being who caused his fall, Seiji adjusted his surprised expression back to resting bitch face. It was Nicholas, who else would it be? 

 

Nicholas looked just as surprised as he was, and before things could get any more awkward Seiji straightened himself up and regained his typically impeccable balance. 

 

“Oh - sorry, Seiji. Didn’t see you there.” 

 

“Yes, Nicholas - I’m aware. One would think you would know how to use the hole drilled in the door specifically to avoid situations like this.” 

 

“What? You can’t expect - wait, what’s that?” Nicholas motioned to the crumpled paper in Seiji’s right hand. He must have clenched his fist as he fell, and unfolding it he handed it to Nicholas. 

 

“Homecoming formal? You’ve gotta be kidding me.” 

 

Seiji’s eyes widened, it was uncommon for him to find someone who didn’t want to attend these ridiculous dances. Then he remembered this ‘kindred spirit’ was Nicholas, and frowned. Oh, well. Perhaps Coach Williams’ “team bonding” practices could help him and Nicholas communicate better and be on better terms. 

 

“You don’t want to go, either?” Seiji asked, dark eyes meeting Nicholas’s lighter brown ones. The eye contact didn’t last for long, though. Nicholas was already focusing again on the paper and to Seiji’s surprise actually started to vent his frustrations to him. 

 

“No, I wouldn’t even know what to do.” Seiji snickered, that much was obvious. 

 

“ _ Hey _ \- can it, shoujo.” 

 

Wait,  _ what _ ? 

 

“What did you just call me?” Glowering, Seiji stepped closer to Nicholas who had since turned around as he read the rest of the flyer. 

 

“Shoujo. It’s one of the two filters people see you through.” 

 

Dumbfounded, Seiji was more confused than upset with Nicholas. Curiosity getting the better of him, he felt a question bubbling up inside him that he knew he was going to ask, whether he should or shouldn’t.” 

 

“And the other ‘filter’, you say?” 

 

“Satan.” Now Nicholas was the one to snicker, and Seiji could practically see the smirk on the brunette’s face without looking. Feeling the urge to fight Nicholas, Seiji took a few deep breaths and reminded himself detention was not worth it. 

 

“I still can’t believe we have to go.” Nick had taped the flyer to his dresser front, and searched for a highlighter or pen while Seiji watched. 

 

“For once we can agree on something.” 

 

“Why don’t you wanna go? Isn’t this kinda thing rich-people-shit? You probably get off on knowing you’re super cultured and can talk to girls easily.  _ Salutations, I’m Seiji Katayama and I’m like, the best fencer ever. _ ” Nicholas mocked, extending his hand out in imaginary greeting.  Seiji had to bite back a classist retort. 

 

“Actually, no. I don’t enjoy these kinds of things. I think they’re a waste of time as they don’t serve a purpose. They don’t further my career, better my education and they’re certainly not fun. As for talking to girls, I’ve never bothered.” At that last detail, Nicholas spun around and his face took on an expression of shock. 

 

“You’re kidding me - you’ve  _ never  _ hit on someone?” Oh dear God, Seiji was beginning to regret this conversation. He should have trashed that stupid flyer when he saw it. 

 

Faintly raising his right eyebrow and casting his eyes aside, Seiji muttered “No.” 

  
  


The subject was a painful one. Having been raised by a strict family was difficult enough, but after Seiji’s mother passed he found himself being told by a depressed father that he would have to work harder at being good with women, so he wouldn’t end up like his struggling dad. The Katayama family had gone a good ten years without a motherly figure in the household, and although Seiji’s dad had a few girlfriends come and go throughout the years, none had ever stayed. 

 

It only worsened when Seiji hit his tween years and started to realize he was different, and those differences weren’t going away like he’d expected. He’d never really had a crush on a girl, he’d kind of assigned himself girls to like because it was something people did. He was never open about it of course, but something about him and girls just didn’t click right. When he didn’t outgrow the distaste for thinking of dating women, he eventually started wondering if the pull he felt towards other boys was what they felt for girls. Needless to say, he figured it out pretty quickly that he was gay - but there was never really a good time to break it to his father that all the advice he was getting to get a girlfriend (and eventually wife) was irrelevant. It didn’t help that he was from an immigrant family, he wasn’t sure how they would react to him coming out. So for the time being, he’d kept his love life on a back burner, postponing until he was financially independent and stable so if he got disowned he’d be fine. Grimacing at the memory, Seiji was brought back to Earth by a hand being waved in his face. 

 

“Seiji? Come back to me! You said it yourself, ignoring people is rude.” Catching and clutching the wrist of the hand that was swinging in his face, Seiji looked back at Nicholas. 

 

Nicholas didn’t seem in a teasing mood anymore, his face had fallen serious and he appeared...concerned? About to tell Nicholas off for invading his personal space yet again, Seiji found himself interrupted as soon as he opened his mouth. 

 

“I’m sorry.” 

 

What? Nicholas apologizing to him? He must have really looked pathetic. 

 

“No you don’t, and I’m sorry because I was being rude. I shouldn’t make fun of you for being shy.” 

 

Shit, Seiji must have said that last part out loud. Whatever, if he played it off well enough maybe Nicholas wouldn’t tell the team about this insecurity of his. God knows he didn’t need that playboy Aiden getting on his ass about it. Hypocrite. 

 

“I never said I was shy, Nicholas.” 

 

“Well, you’re definitely okay with holding my arm so I guess I was wrong?” Nicholas joked, and Seiji looked back to his hand, betrayed that it was still stuck to Nicholas. Like it belonged there. Rude. Yanking it back towards himself, he placed it firmly on the bed he was seated upon. Now there would be no more moments like that one. 

 

A familiar look began to blossom on Nicholas’s face. It was one of determination and confidence. Clearly he must have thought of something he found brilliant. 

 

“Seiji, I just thought of something brilliant.”

  
  


“I’m certain you think so.” Seiji retorted, bitterness masking his anticipation for whatever the boy had conceived. 

 

“I can help you learn to hit on people, and you can teach me to dance!” Nicholas was smiling now, practically radiating light in the otherwise bland room. Seiji winced before blinking in confusion. 

 

“I thought you knew how to dance,” he started, suspiciously. His eyes narrowed. Was Nicholas trying to make a fool out of him? He couldn’t think of how this would be harmful, but was still on high alert. Something about this situation set his heart rate skyrocketing and he didn’t like it. 

 

“I know salsa - not ballroom. I can’t exactly convince people I’m from this kind of a life without training, and I kinda need to do that.” Nick said, voice dropping a bit in shame. 

 

Seiji thought about it. What was there to lose from this situation? Nicholas didn’t seem the type to out him if he chose to tell him, and any advice Nicholas could give him would likely be more effective and applicable regardless of gender. The only potentially embarrassing part would be having to actually dance with Nicholas in the ‘female’ role, and that would only be temporarily uncomfortable for him - unless someone like Aiden filmed it. The odds of that happening were pretty low, and if Seiji scheduled it right he could avoid any public humiliation altogether. 

 

“So if I teach you to dance - ” 

 

“ - And look more like I belong - ”

 

“You’ll help me with my...people problem?” Seiji finished, a twinge of nervousness sneaking into his voice. He hated it. 

 

“Yeah, of course!” Nick exclaimed, a triumphant grin on his face. He extended his arm, reaching his hand out to meet Seiji’s and spoke. 

 

“So, do we have a deal?” 

 

“Sure.” Seiji reached out and shook Nicholas’s warm hand. That anticipatory feeling may not have been going away, but maybe some of their antagonism would. 

 


	2. Candlelight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seiji and Nick hiding in the trees, D-A-N-C-I-N-G. 
> 
>  
> 
> Our boys sneak out to practice in the clubhouse. Seiji starts to feel different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to god that whole "in a tree" thing came to me as I was uploading this to the Ao3 format, LOL. Sometimes my brain is too much, even for me! 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyways, this was a bitch and a half to write and I had so much fun with this chapter - I hope you enjoy it, too!

 

“So how exactly is this gonna work?”

 

Nicholas had poked his head out from behind Seiji as they snuck behind the school to reach the clubhouse. He had initially thought it would be cramped, but the more Seiji explained the space needed it made more sense to practice there. Only problem getting there would be sneaking over regularly. When they compared their schedules they found the best times to practice would be Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday nights. They would also be times without a high chance of anyone interrupting. With luck and careful execution, no one would know they had snuck off together. They had six weeks to prepare for this dance, and they had better take every opportunity seriously.

 

“We’re going to climb the wall like last time, but this time I’ll beat you once we have to run.” Seiji couldn’t help the jab, it was practically in his nature to goad Nicholas. Something about provoking him was just too fun. Nicholas rose to the bait, smile bright in the fading light.

 

“Sure, Seiji.”

 

They were almost at the wall. Now all they needed to do was get over it, the tricky part would be getting down. Reaching for the first hold, Seiji pulled hard and started the ascent. Nick soon followed and they hurried up the steep wall. Reaching the top they stopped to breathe, and then Nick was flashing that grin again before scurrying down at ridiculous speed.

 

“You’re going to get injured!” Seiji whisper-shouted at the boy now several feet beneath him. A faint chuckle floated back up to him as Nicholas continued his descent. Rolling his eyes in frustration, Seiji waited until his teammate had reached the ground and was looking expectantly at him.

 

“You’re never gonna beat me there if you can’t get down, scaredy-cat.” That was it. With newfound motivation Seiji found himself throwing more caution to the wind, grappling down the wall and jumping while he was still several feet above the grass. It seemed Nicholas had anticipated this, however as he found himself stumbling back and sideways into the (barely) shorter boy’s figure.

 

“Well, that gotcha down quickly didn’t it?” Seiji ignored Nicholas’s taunts and brushed himself off. Straightening his back proudly, he resumed his elegant stride until he caught a glimpse of the guard in his peripheral vision.

 

“What, no ans- HMPH” Seiji clapped a hand over Nicholas’s mouth as quietly as he could to shush him, pointing in the direction of the flashlight beam several hundred feet away. Nicholas licked his hand and Seiji brought it back with disgust, a revulsed look on his face as he wiped it on his pants.

 

“How mature, Cox.” This time the two didn’t bicker, though. Looking to the side, Seiji saw Nicholas tracking the guard’s movements before he signaled to run and they _bolted_ . Now the stakes were higher, because if they were caught off campus grounds at night the punishments were worse - but luckily it was such a rare occurrence for students to sneak off and get caught that there weren’t guards posted outside dorms, and they had left the back entrance to Castello very _slightly_ open in case their ID’s would record time of use. The plan was pretty much foolproof, and if anyone happened across them they planned to play it off as if they had a team-bonding assignment together. Coach Williams had been known in the past to force players to do more exercises together later during the day - _throwing off people’s schedules tends to get them to stop bitching_ , she’d said.

 

True to his word, Seiji beat Nicholas to the treeline - but only because Nicholas stumbled on a rock and faceplanted just before. Turning around to smugly celebrate his victory, Seiji quickly found himself in a state of panic as the flashlight’s range grew closer and Nicholas wasn’t beside him. What if he was caught? Seiji wasn’t on academic scholarship, but Nicholas was and wasn’t able to _afford_ being in this kind of trouble. Face twisting in nervousness, Seiji began looking through the grass until he was suddenly pulled to the ground.

 

“Stay down - he’s almost here-” Nicholas’s voice was entirely too close for Seiji’s comfort, but he obeyed - as the light grew closer. Peering around in the rapidly darkening surroundings, Seiji realized Nicholas had dragged him behind a small hill. It was barely taller than a sandbar on a beach, but it was just enough that if they stayed silent and didn’t move, they wouldn’t be seen. Brows furrowing together in realization, Seiji recognized _Nicholas just saved us from getting caught._ If it hadn’t been for Nicholas’s fall, they would have been stuck hiding behind trees that barely covered their figures.

 

After what felt like an eternity, the light shone a different direction and it appeared the night patrol was off to search the other side of the wall. Seiji felt Nicholas nudge up behind him and flushed as he awkwardly tried to sit up. Nicholas was pretty quick to rise, Seiji noted, and as he looked up at Nicholas he faintly saw an outstretched hand. Grateful for the rapidly approaching darkness, Seiji took it and was quickly hoisted up as he pulled.

 

Now they had to cross over the creek and make it to the clubhouse. This was going to suck, but it would still be easier than the way back, so Seiji figured it would be better to not gripe about it. Walking quickly, the two turned their phones onto a flashlight mode with red light, so they would be able to see without getting in trouble. Once they reached the fallen tree, Seiji took Nicholas by the hand and carefully helped him cross. They had to bite their phones in order to see the tree while balancing, but with Seiji’s skill they got across in a little under a minute.

 

Finally stepping to the door, Nicholas removed the spare key from under a loose brick chip Harvard had placed it. Carefully unlocking it, Nicholas twisted the handle and shoved _hard_. It was an old building, with the wallpaper peeling off to reveal bricks and mortar behind it, but it was structurally sound and otherwise furnished okay.

 

Feeling his way around, Nick avoided bumping into the couch and found the fireplace. On the mantel, he groped around until he reached the first of two giant candles. Kally had placed them there last season, thinking they would look pretty and might make the room smell nice. No one had bothered to light them in months, so Nick had no idea what they’d smell like but he wasn’t needing them for aesthetic purposes right now. Taking his lighter out of his pocket, Nick lit the first candle and brought his head back sharply as the light filled the room. Reaching for the second one he was surprised to see Seiji staring at him, looking impressed.

 

“I didn’t think to bring one.” Seiji’s voice seemed too loud in the dim room. Flicking the lighter back on Nick held the flames against the wick as he waited for it to light, and placed it back up quietly.

 

“I kinda figured you wouldn’t. I almost forgot that lamp doesn’t have a bulb, so we kinda lucked out.” Nick felt sheepish all of a sudden, the quiet and darkness was putting him on edge. As if sensing it, Seiji moved to Nick slowly before quietly suggesting they move the furniture to the side.

 

Carefully, the two lifted the ends of the couch and dragged it to the side of the room. It was rather light, and Nick figured that was because it had to be snuck inside at some point. Anything too heavy would have been noticed. Seiji nodded, seeing the logic behind the choice. After moving the couch all they had to shift was a chair and the useless lamp before they were all set. Finally, the space was set.

 

“Stand there,” Seiji ordered, pointing at a spot on the floor. Nicholas obliged, moving a bit clumsily. This hadn’t even begun and it already felt so awkward. The candlelight flickered as the flame burned the wick, trying to reach a steady glow. The shifting light and awkward silence only added to the pressure until...Seiji played music?

 

“It’s a slow waltz, I figured you would need to start with something rudimentary. You know how to count measures, right?”

 

Nicholas nodded. With the light growing more constant and the music filling the room, the atmosphere was starting to become a little more calming to him.

 

“Yeah, my instructor taught me. Hey - are there any windows in this thing?” Nicholas saw Seiji pause, stiffen, and then relax once more.

 

“If there are, we don’t need to worry about them. No one is going to be out in the forest this late at night, and even if someone was they would have no reason to look in.”

 

Nicholas felt a little unsatisfied with this point, but figured he should trust Seiji so they could get a move on with this dance lesson. Ugh, it still felt weird thinking it.

 

“So what do I do?”

 

“Hold on, give me a minute. I need to walk through this again - you’re gonna have to listen to me carefully, there’s barely enough space.”

 

“...I’m pretty sure we both know that.”

 

“Do you want me to teach you or not?”

 

“Yeah, but I could ask you the same question Mr. Grumpy Pants.”

 

“You’re such a child.”

 

“And you’re such a priss -- ow!” Nick felt one of Seiji’s machete-like elbows jab him in the ribs.

 

“Just stand by my side, and follow my lead.”

 

Nick started, trying to mimic Seiji’s stance but could already tell he was going to struggle. At the dance studio where he learned salsa, his teacher tried to do something similar because she was eight months pregnant and was super on edge about it - but ultimately she had to teach him by bringing out her oldest son to help. It was kinda embarrassing, dancing with an eleven year old boy who could out-salsa Nick’s ass literally anytime, anyplace, anyday - but ultimately he got it down.

 

Seiji seemed to notice Nick’s stumbling, and even in the soft light Nick could see the eyeroll. The music did nothing to quiet the sound of the disappointed facepalm Seiji made, clearly irritated with how this was going to go.

 

“You have got to be kidding me, Cox.”

 

Sighing deeply, Seiji stood in front of Nicholas and reached out expectantly to the ‘student’ of his. When Nicholas didn’t reach back, Seiji realized no matter where they did this, it was going to be incredibly awkward.

 

“You’re going to be leading with your right hand - yes, I’m aware you’re left-handed, and no, the dancing population does not care about your minority status. And if you so much as smirk at me for dancing the ‘female’ role, consider this agreement over.”

 

“That’s all? I’m allowed to smile though, right?”

 

“Extend your right arm, left goes here.” Seiji gestured to where Nicholas was supposed to be holding him, and swiftly held hands with his ‘self-proclaimed’ rival. This wasn’t something he would want to write home about. Pausing to remember the steps and reverse them, Seiji temporarily forgot the awkwardness of standing like this, so close to Nicholas that he relaxed for a second. Nicholas however, was denser than a bag of bricks and only wanted to amp up the poor boy’s anxiety, it seemed.

 

“What do we do now?”

 

“You step forward - not now, genius - while I step backwards. Then you step to your right, and we continue with this, then…”

  


Nicholas was starting to get it, slowly but surely. If they kept this up regularly then Seiji might be able to help him learn the dance correctly the first time around - so he’d never need remedial lessons like he did with fencing. As strange as it was, the longer they danced and the better Nicholas got, the happier Seiji felt. Being able to teach someone something, even if it was an uncomfortable experience was a rare occurrence, and he was pleasantly surprised at the fun he was having.

 

“BZZZZT!”

 

Nicholas’s phone had buzzed. He’d set a reminder so they would get back to Castello before it got too late, and the reminder was clearly needed. They had gotten so caught up in trying (and gradually getting) to get the steps right that they had lost track of what time it was. Seiji felt the disconnect as Nicholas separated to get his alarm switched off, and felt a twinge in his chest. He’d been having fun and didn’t want to stop yet, and that worried him more than the thought of trekking back to Castello in the now pitch-black night.

 

It was only 10 PM, but the sun set far earlier in the fall and the Connecticut breeze didn’t help the chill factor. Gazing through the door windows, Seiji was a tad nervous about getting back to campus, but it was too late for those kinds of fears to hold him back. He turned to Nicholas and spoke.

 

“Let’s put all the furniture back. Don’t forget to replace the spare key.”

 

Nicholas nodded, and the two painstakingly placed everything back where it went. As they were about to leave, Nicholas blew out the candles and giggled at the sudden darkness.

 

“Seiji, we’re kinda criminals now.”

 

“I refuse to be compared to a delinquent like you.” Seiji spat back, the mood shifting as they prepared to leave. Once Nicholas had stepped outside, Seiji shone his phone’s flashlight on the doorknob so it could be locked and the key put back where it belonged.

 

Walking across the log was even more difficult in the pitch black, and Seiji figured it’d be best if he and Nicholas could just sit down on it and slowly slide their way over. Without the sun’s light giving them an idea of the fallen tree’s placement, it would be safer to take it slowly and in the dark. Once crossed, the two had a pretty easy go of it. Nicholas almost twisted his ankle coming down from the wall, but Seiji had jumped down first this time and steadied him a bit. He was becoming more comfortable with Nicholas already, it seemed.

 

The back door they’d left ajar was still open so they snuck into Castello very quietly, taking the flight of stairs up to their floor. _If we lived on the ground level it would have been so much easier_ ,

Seiji mused bitterly. Finally in their hallway, the two casually walked up to the door and entered without being spotted. Closing their dorm door behind them, Seiji was met with a triumphant, albeit tired Nicholas.

 

“High five!” The brunette exclaimed, loud despite holding back a yawn.

 

“Why?”

 

“We made it back without getting caught! I’d say that’s a victory.”

 

“You’re right. The fact we made it back without you stepping on my feet any more and injuring me IS a miracle.”

 

“Hey - I said victory, not miracle.”

 

“Whatever.” Gently slapping his hand, Seiji indulged the boy before stifling a yawn of his own.

 

Seiji felt himself begin to tire, it had been a long day and the stress of sneaking out must have worn him down. Luckily he would be able to function for his training session with Dmytro tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, those sessions fell on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays so Seiji was never going to be able to stay up late throughout the school year. Especially now that he had to spend the nights before with Nicholas, teaching him how to blend in with the upper crust.

 

“So...when am I gonna help you with your people thing?”

 

Huh. Seiji had forgotten about that part. Standing behind his side of the curtain and beginning to undress, he let himself yawn this time and answered Nicholas.

 

“I’m certain we can figure something out tomorrow.” Finishing changing, Seiji walked to the bathroom to meet Nicholas who was already brushing his teeth. He was surprised at the show of responsibility so late. Seiji had typed Nicholas for the type to skip the self-care step after such a long day.

 

“What? I don’t want cavities, fight me.” Nicholas was oddly defensive, and the toothpaste foam in his mouth slightly slurred his speech.

 

“I never complained.”

 

Once the two were finished rinsing out the sink, they headed back to their respective sides of the ducky curtain. Just as Seiji had tucked himself into bed and was ready to sleep, he heard Nicholas whisper.

 

“Hey, Seiji?”

 

“If you’re going to ask me if I’m asleep, the answer is yes.” Seiji groaned.

 

“I wasn’t gonna ask that - I just wanted to say, um, thank you.”

 

Oh. This was a new feeling. It had been a while since someone had thanked Seiji with such a friendly tone. Typically he was thanked for feedback on matches with opponents, and was met with a professional handshake and nod of appreciation. This was different. It was...nice. Instinct getting the better of him, Seiji didn’t feign being asleep and responded.

 

“You’re welcome, Nicholas.” and promptly fell into a deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAH you DID IT!!! THANK YOU!!! bruh I am touched, my very soul has been groped - er, maybe that's not the right word...Either way, you've had a great impact on my heart! 
> 
> Please leave a kudos and/or a comment below if you enjoyed! I love feedback, it's always fun to read comments!!!


	3. Polarize

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seiji and Nick have a bit of a heart-to-heart about some similarities they have, and Nick starts to get the hang of this dancing thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! Chapter three is finally done - I had to rewrite it bc initially it was gonna take place in the library and then I thought, fuck THAT let's do this instead!!! 
> 
> I hope this reads as soft as I intended for it to - and yes, there's gonna be some more angst in this.

It was already a Thursday and Seiji was anticipating the hike to the clubhouse tonight. In class he’d been more fidgety than normal, tapping his pencil on his composition notebook (because despite being hyperactive he wasn’t going to distract people, thank you very much) and staring off into space or out the nearest window. It wasn’t like him to be so out of touch with the environment around him and if it had been any other day, perhaps his teachers would have noticed. The later the day in the week, the jumpier all of the Kings Row boys would be and that meant less attention would be spent worrying about a quiet boy tapping his pencil. Closing his eyes, Seiji resigned himself to waiting for the day to be over. 

 

Nicholas was also in a similar predicament, but instead of being jumpy as per the norm he was more quiet and withdrawn. Bobby had noticed pretty quickly, and Tanner had offered him a playlist to lift his mood, but Nick had smiled and waved away their concerns. He just played it off as typical school stress, and for a kid with Nick’s academic background that wasn’t too surprising. Kally had tried to offer tutoring, but Nick didn’t have to lie about that one - he was already meeting with an upperclassman mentor for the classes he was struggling in. Overall, Nick figured he shouldn’t feel so...off. He clearly had fantastic friends who cared about him, so why was he so strange today? 

Oh yeah. Because he’d be sneaking out to spend more time with Seiji again. And this time they would actually talk about Seiji’s people skills, or lack thereof. It seemed almost a shame to bring such a heavy topic into what had actually been a fun break, a nice way to get some of their inner rebellion out while Nick was learning how to blend in more. 

 

Frowning slightly, Nick leaned his head into his right hand and found himself doodling in the margins of his notebook. His sketches were typically stick figures fencing (shocker) but this time he found himself struggling to draw them dancing. He tried to pencil in the footwork he was trying to learn, and thought he was doing okay at that. Catching himself drawing in a smiling face with one figure and a grumpy one on the other, Nick snorted. It was kind of bizarre to him how he was a pretty friendly guy, but struggled to communicate with the one person who could use his help the most. How  _ was  _ he going to get through to Seiji? 

  
  


Several hours later the two had met up, changed and began the trip over. They departed a little earlier than before, no sense in repeating the other night’s mistakes and risking injury. It was easier to sneak by the guard tonight, as some younger students had gotten into trouble for using chalk to draw phallic imagery on the side of the science building. Seiji was disappointed in his fellow man, but grateful for their immaturity allowing them ease of escape from campus. Nicholas was laughing about it, so Seiji had to keep shushing and threatening to elbow him in the side if he didn’t shut up - which only made Nicholas laugh more. 

 

Arriving back at the clubhouse, the two resumed routine and Nicholas lit the candles while Seiji brought the chair and lamp aside. One of these days they would have to figure out if they could find or build some type of battery so it could work - granted, they would still need a bulb. Lifting the couch together and sliding it to the edge of the room, the two were ready to begin. This time however, was more about Nicholas remembering the steps and actually talking to Seiji about his problems.  

 

The music began, and Nick quickly found himself fumbling with the steps’ order, and was grateful that he and Seiji had come up with this idea so far beforehand. If they hadn’t, none of this training would have paid off. Nick may have had great speed and reflexes, but his muscle memory took a while to really...remember things. Despite the mistakes, Seiji seemed more patient with him this time and Nick figured it was probably because of what was about to come next. 

 

“What do you want to talk about or work on first?” 

 

“Aside from your stepping on my toes every thirty seconds, I don’t know.” 

 

“Seiji, you know what I mean...Let me phrase this differently,” Nick wasn’t aware, but when they talked he was getting the steps right more frequently. 

 

“So, I’m not gonna ask what your orientation is because that’s personal - but I do want to ask what’s your type?” 

 

“My  _ what  _ now?” 

 

“I mean, what kind of a person are you into.” Nick knew he was getting close to testy waters. Seiji was starting to close off, his face shutting down further into resting bitch mode - and that was not a good sign. He needed to rile him up a bit more. 

 

“And what purpose would the answer serve?” Seiji briskly executed a turn, bringing Nicholas with him who almost tripped at the speed. His eyes were sharp, lips curved downwards into a grimace. 

 

“Well, for one it would help me get to understand you better, which could help you get more effective input from me.” Nick flashed his pearly whites, eyes shining mischievously in the candlelight. 

 

“Fine.” Seiji muttered, eyes cast downward as he and Nicholas stopped for a quick break. Seiji reached for his thermos he’d brought with him, it was filled with Earl Grey - decaf of course, given how late it was - and sipped quietly, trying to quell the growing flush he felt blooming on his cheeks. He had left his drink next to the couch, and found himself compelled to sit on the old furniture and rest for a minute. He put his drink back down, and Nicholas followed suit, taking a seat in the chair near it, and before he could even stop it Nicholas joked, “Lay back on the couch and this might actually start to look like a therapy session.”

 

Seiji rolled his eyes and tried to focus on the flickering candles, steadying himself so he wouldn’t feel compelled to hit Nicholas. To his own shock, he followed Nicholas’s advice and leaned back across the couch, trying to relax his rather tense figure. 

 

“I’m...I’m not quite sure what my type is, but I know for a fact that if I have one or develop one I have terrible taste.” 

 

Nicholas laughed, and Seiji felt himself pout slightly. He didn’t enjoy feeling teased, especially not over such sensitive matters. Once the short burst of humor was over, Nicholas began speaking again. 

 

“Don’t you think that’s kinda harsh to your crush?” Nicholas asked, tone gradually winding down from the chuckling he had done. 

 

“I hardly think so. I don’t know that I’ve ever had serious romantic feelings towards someone without them turning out to be complete and utter trash.” 

 

Seiji felt the pause in the room, and turned to see Nicholas whose face had fallen. His He looked concerned, and almost like he could relate. 

 

“You...Wanna get into that maybe?” Nicholas had swung one of his legs up into his lap, resting his foot on his opposite knee as he looked at Seiji. 

 

Seiji couldn’t believe he was doing this, but he stood back up and reached his hand out to Nicholas. 

 

“Yes.” 

 

As the two began dancing again, it was kind of strange but somehow the motion and autopilot mode being switched in his brain made it easier for Seiji to handle talking about these problems. Trying desperately to not look Nicholas in the eye, he began baring his weaknesses in front of the louder of the two, who had fallen into a respectful silence. 

 

“As you know,” Seiji started, beginning a pivot carefully.

 

“I’m not the most...amicable of people, and I’m well aware I’m pretty polarizing. People either tend to despise me or they idolize me, and neither is exactly beneficial in terms of making friends or finding anyone to be close to.” Nicholas had met his turn more gracefully than the last time, probably due to the reduced speed. 

 

Nick thought back to Aiden and Bobby - even on the team, Seiji’s skills had isolated him. It probably didn’t help that he was pretty hostile to those who disliked him, but Nicholas would be a hypocrite to say he didn’t understand and wouldn’t be the same. Frowning, Nick realized that he and Seiji shared a lot of the same core traits. They both had something to prove, were incredibly driven and competitive, and weren’t the greatest when provoked. Taking his hand from under Seiji’s arm, Nicholas ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. 

 

“That...That must be tough.” 

 

“Astute observation, Cox.” Seiji deadpanned, looking irritated. 

 

_ Ooh, back to the last-name _ . Not a good sign. Nick decided to try again. 

 

“I mean it, that really sucks. People shouldn’t base their entire opinion of you on a skillset you have.” Nick began raising his arm so Seiji could spin beneath it - spin,  _ not twirl _ , as Seiji had demanded Nick refer to it. Seiji followed the motion and stepped back into starting position smoothly. 

 

Nick continued, still unaware he was improving,  “You may be phenomenal at it, but that doesn’t define your character or who you are. It’s part of what you do. Fencing may be your lifeblood as much as it is mine, but it’s still not all of what composes us.” 

 

“As much as I appreciate your sentiment, I hardly think blaming everyone else for my problem is the solution.” Seiji felt Nicholas’s hand start to slip, but given the stress he was under Seiji couldn’t be bothered to correct him. It occurred to Seiji that since this talk had started Nicholas had only made a few very minor missteps. He seemed to be matching Seiji almost pace for pace, motion for motion and it allowed for the conversation to move along uninterrupted. Meeting Nicholas’s eyes, Seiji saw a look of gentleness and bittersweet understanding before the boy replied. 

 

“You’re right, it isn’t - but aside from maybe being a bit more gentle with people I don’t see any valid reason for people to hate you the way they do.” Seiji stepped back, Nicholas following him closely. The song was almost over, and Nicholas’s left hand had slipped further down Seiji’s side, reaching closer to his waist. 

 

Something in Seiji was stammering, and he was met with a familiar feeling. It matched the panic and surprise he felt when in the  _ same day _ as they fought in a broom closet, Nicholas declared he and Seiji were friends before promptly dragging him across the Salle to hang out. Only this time the sensation was stronger and far more off-putting. As they stepped, pivoted and eventually were brought back to the starting place, the song ended and their practice was done. 

 

Tidying was faster than last time, and Seiji felt a bit more...relaxed after getting some of that emotional burden off his chest. Nicholas seemed a bit more at ease, too. In a move he didn’t expect of himself, Seiji asked Nicholas a question. 

 

“Do you think this is helping?” He felt sheepish immediately after asking, and was met with pensive eyes as Nicholas paused from blowing out the first candle. After a second longer, Nicholas nodded and extinguished the flame, moving to repeat the motion with the second. 

 

“I think I’m getting better, but it’s kinda strange. I know I’m supposed to be leading, but I can’t really tell who is. Sometimes I think I am and then you do something that throws me off.” This time Nicholas wasn’t laughing, he seemed rather calm and Seiji decided not to press to hard about this answer. 

 

In darkness now, Seiji waited by the door and turned his phone on. Trying to quell the stammering feeling which was bubbling back up, Seiji looked expectantly in the dark until Nicholas was suddenly very close to him again. Nicholas had paused in the doorway, too, and Seiji felt confused until Nick jerked his head in the direction of the woods and met Seiji’s eyes. Oh, he was waiting for him to go first. 

 

Stepping out, Seiji stood to the side as he waited for Nicholas to lock the door and replace the key. It was especially important that they got everything fixed tonight, as Harvard had texted the team’s GroupMe that they were going to meet up tomorrow night at the clubhouse to hang out. If anything was left out of place, the group could get suspicious and completely undermine the privacy the two had been seeking. And knowing them, the guys would probably tease them. 

 

As if hearing his thoughts, Nicholas put a hand on Seiji’s shoulder. Seiji bristled at the unexpected touch and internally cringed, it must look dumb that he would react in such a way to someone whose arms he was in for the better part of an hour just now. Thankfully, his firm expression was still easy enough to maintain. 

 

“What’s bugging you?” Nicholas asked, eyes squinting in the dark as he tried to see Seiji. 

 

Seiji paused, wondering if he should even bother voicing his concerns. But he figured any chance of planning for disaster was a necessary one, and swallowed his fear. 

 

“What do we do if someone finds out?” 

 

Nick thought about it, and didn’t answer for a while as they walked back through the forest. Upon reaching the log he said, “I don’t know. I guess the best thing we can do is prevent people from finding out in the first place.” 

  
They crept across slowly, and Seiji wondered if this plan was really effective. For the sake of his sanity and sleep tonight, he figured he would just have to trust Nicholas. Once they were back in the safety of their dorm, he felt his mind begin to calm down. After all,  _ who on Earth would follow them into the woods?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who indeed? ;) 
> 
> Take out your Spotify playlists, babes because it's getting cold up in Connecticut soon. Our poor boys are in for some Sweater Weather and who are we to deny them a bop to listen to? 
> 
>  
> 
> As always - if you liked please leave a kudos and/or comment below!!! I love reading comments they make my day!!!


	4. Fireside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, boys? It's Sweater Weather time. ;) 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> (If you want the summary to sound more fun, read it again but in the voice of Skipper from Penguins of Madagascar LOL)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience! I think it's been four days since I last updated and WHOA the viewcount has shot through the roof! I'm incredibly flattered by all y'all, and appreciate you taking time out of your day to read this. This chapter was initially going to be twice as long, and then I remembered I'm doing 10 chapters not 8, so I could just take the first "half" of what would have been this chapter and use the second "half" for no.5. And ooh, baby - we're gonna have fun getting there. >:)

Four AM. Nicholas was not pleased to be roused so early, and his tired grumbling made that very clear. It was three weeks until the stupid dance with Exton and whatever girls’ schools Kings Row had invited, and Nick hadn’t had the chance to practice dancing with Seiji twice in the past week. He was getting nervous that he’d forget steps, and their small room wasn’t the right size or dimensions for practice, so when Dmytro cancelled unexpectedly and left Seiji an opening, the two had agreed to leave for the clubhouse super early instead of late. 

 

Stumbling as he got dressed in the dark, Nicholas almost fell through the curtain as he slipped trying to change into his pants for the day. The thud was pretty audible, and Nicholas regretted living on the fourth floor. If anyone left a noise complaint for their dorm, they could get in trouble and might end up monitored, so he hoped no one would be that upset. He figured he would receive some form of chastisement from Seiji for the ruckus, but was met with none. What he really didn’t expect was the concerned voice calling out to him. 

 

“Nicholas?” 

 

“I’m fine - just clumsy in the morning.” Nick joked, trying to lighten the mood. He’d learned throughout their practices that Seiji was always paranoid of injury because one slip up could set him back weeks and would interrupt his career. Some of this fear had transferred onto Nick, it seemed - as Seiji apparently didn’t want to “risk having to carry you back to the dorms”, but Nick had the sneaking suspicion Seiji was more worried about Nick keeping his scholarship. Which was kind of surprising, and definitely sweet. 

 

Snagging a banana and a water bottle, Nick brushed his teeth quickly and was ready. Seiji had been ready to go for about five minutes, but hadn’t hassled him about being faster. It seemed Seiji recognized that despite going to bed earlier last night, Nicholas had a different schedule and wasn’t used to waking up so soon and was being forgiving. He checked his pockets, finding his lighter and a few scraps of paper he’d put inside a plastic bag for him to bring along. All set. 

 

“Let’s get going, I guess.” Nick said lightheartedly, trying to smile despite the clear discomfort he was in. If the weather was as predicted, Nicholas would be pretty eager trying to make these sheets of paper into kindling. 

 

As the two stepped outside Castello into the dark morning air, Nicholas felt the chill sink into his skin pretty quickly. Despite the discomfort, he knew his sensation of the cold wasn’t nearly as bad as Seiji’s - who had brought a hat and gloves on top of his regular clothes. Seiji was sensitive to the cold, due in part to his lean frame and apparently poor circulation. Focusing back to reality Nick whispered to Seiji, “Hey, are we going to be able to get out of here before the team meeting at 10? I know it takes longer to get to and from there, and what if we fall asleep?” 

 

Seiji was walking ahead of Nick at this point, expensive athletic shoes soft on the ground. He turned and placed a hand on Nick’s shoulder. Nick felt warmth begin resonating from that spot, as though Seiji’s hand was heating his blood and spreading a comforting feeling throughout him. He felt a strange feeling overtake him in that moment, he wanted to hold Seiji and see if that sensation would overtake him. Would it feel like a cocoon? 

 

Nicholas had a very strange expression on his face. His mouth was slightly open, and his tiredness was revealing his emotions even more honestly than typical. Seiji supposed that could be helpful today, Nicholas being more unintentionally candid might help Seiji learn to read people better. Looking into warm brown eyes, Seiji sighed and saw his breath clouding in the frigid air. 

 

“Nicholas, we’re on the team. If either of us starts getting too tired we can just move the furniture back and pretend you thought we had to leave earlier. I’m certain no one will ask too many questions.”

 

“But what about the fire?” Nick brought his hand onto Seiji’s gloved one, feeling the knitted woolen fabric. It was soft but scratchy, and Nicholas wondered if Seiji’s hands were being scraped up by the fabric. He imagined Seiji’s near perfect skin being marred by the material and frowned, before getting back to Earth. 

 

“We don’t even know if we’re going to have to build one, and if we do - maybe we can figure something out with the embers so it doesn’t look as though it’s been burning for too long.” Seiji replied, gently taking his hand off Nick’s shoulder, letting Nick’s hand fall to his side. 

 

The loss of contact was bothersome, somehow. Nick wondered if maybe he was just touch-starved because he was tired and wasn’t in bed, cuddling up to his pillow. Yeah, that was probably it. His pillow-snuggle time had been cut into, nothing more. Just the thought of being back in bed was entirely too appealing for Nick, and he would have taken Seiji by the hand and dragged them both back upstairs if it weren’t for his bigger fear of standing out in the wrong way at Homecoming. 

 

With a particularly nasty gust of wind shaking him out of his thoughts, Nick caught up to Seiji - who was only a few feet ahead of him. This weather was making the trek more and more miserable, and when faint rain started to drizzle onto the two, Nick decided that yes, they were going to risk building a fire. The wind was strong enough to dissipate whatever smoke came from the chimney, and by the looks of Seiji’s shivering the heat would be more than welcome. 

 

When they reached the inside, Nick heard Seiji slam the door behind them in an attempt to prevent more wind from coming in and further chilling the room. While the effort had helped some, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. Lending his lighter to Seiji for the candles, Nicholas moved to a spot in the floorboards with a latch on it. Opening the floor up, he found the stash of firewood Harvard had encouraged the team to put there. Snickering softly he recalled how miserable the team had been when they used the rusted old axe they found in the clubhouse to try and hack up pieces of fallen tree limbs. Aiden had been so distraught over a splinter, and Nicholas had caught the smirk on Seiji’s face when he saw Harvard chiding Aiden for his theatrics. Even Tanner and Kally had shared a look of understanding at the two upperclassmen being so close. Nick still didn’t get it, but figured it was one of those things he would have picked up on if he wasn’t so focused on beating Seiji - er, Jesse. Noting the record screech in his head, Nick gathered some pieces near the top - they seemed the driest - and reflected on who he was really trying to defeat. 

 

In order to beat Jesse, he would have to beat Seiji - but he’d also promised Seiji that he’d do so, if it meant that Seiji would acknowledge him as a rival. Lost in thought, he almost bumped into his self-declared rival while approaching the fireplace. 

 

Setting the firewood down, Nicholas reached into his pocket and retrieved the bag with scraps of paper he’d brought with him. Discreetly as he could, he scattered them across the floor before covering them with sticks, larger branches and eventually logs. Despite his best efforts, Seiji had noticed the scaps and reached down, looking as though he wanted to lift it from the ground. Without thinking, Nick caught Seiji’s extended hand in his own and when he realized how strange that must have looked, he simply said, “Don’t - I’ll fix it.” And shoved the torn paper back under the kindling. Seiji still appeared curious about Nick’s reaction, but if he felt that way he didn’t say anything. 

 

Within a few minutes, the setup was complete and after Seiji checked the flue, Nick requested his lighter back and started the fire. The flames quickly lapped up the paper and twigs along the bottom layers, the smaller materials curling in on themselves with the heat. As the branches started to blaze the warmth finally began to fill the room, and the warm light made it clearer to see. Smiling, Nick muttered how much of a relief that would be. 

 

Seiji nodded back at him, flushed cheeks starting to fade to their normal complexion as he began to warm up again. The two moved efficiently, taking furniture to the sides and readying themselves for practice. This time they had stayed oddly quiet, and Nicholas couldn’t tell if it was due to the miserable weather outside or something else. 

 

That strange silence continued as Seiji reached his hand out to Nick and they began practicing. To his surprise, Nick was getting better. He’d actually retained some of the knowledge he’d been gaining from these practices and wasn’t stepping on Seiji’s toes at all. Trying to read the mood, Nick looked at Seiji for a moment, wondering if he should say anything. Before he could however, the song changed and Seiji separated from him to pause it. 

 

“This one is too fast-paced, you’re not adequately prepared for that kind of a tempo yet.” Seiji muttered quietly. Before the raven-haired boy could select something different Nick reached out and placed his hand on Seiji’s shoulder, stopping him. 

 

“We haven’t talked about your problem yet.” 

 

Nick’s voice suddenly seemed too loud, as the music had stopped and Seiji froze under his hand. His lean figure was stiff and had instantly lost the elegance Nick had seen it carry mere seconds earlier. It was a shame to have to make him uncomfortable, but Nick felt a sense of obligation to help Seiji. Scratch that, he wanted to help Seiji - they had been getting along better since this routine started and getting close to Seiji made Nick feel incredibly special. Perhaps he was selfish, he thought. But this kind of processing would likely help Seiji lower some of the clear emotional walls he’d put up. 

  
  
  


Slowly, Seiji turned to face Nicholas. His lips were pressed together tightly, and he knew from his stance Nicholas could tell he wasn’t okay, despite the weariness he felt from waking up so early. Seiji’s heart was pounding, and as he prepared to answer Nicholas moved his hand from Seiji’s shoulder to hold Seiji’s (still gloved, he was still cold) hand instead. While the touch should have made him more anxious, Seiji felt himself relax slightly as he began to feel more grounded. Nicholas may have been pushing a boundary, but this is what he had agreed to and Seiji wasn’t willing to back down from a promise. 

 

“We haven’t,” Seiji started, and he felt himself wince at the thought of getting into the topic today. Oh, well. Some band-aids needed to be ripped off, he supposed and this was probably the worst one to drag out. As he was lost in his thoughts, Seiji felt himself be pulled back closer to Nicholas who was stepping backwards, trying to lead as though they were still dancing. Without the music it felt a bit awkward, and Seiji was going to ask about that but Nicholas shook his head, saying “You talk easier when you’re moving. I noticed it the first time we practiced.” 

 

“Is that so.” Seiji replied, more of a statement than a question. Sighing as he released Nicholas’s hand for a pivot, he returned to standing in front of the concerned boy. 

 

“Why are you so closed off about liking people? Romantically, I mean.” Nick clarified, gently squeezing Seiji’s hand. 

 

“Nicholas, what’s your orientation?” 

 

Nick sputtered, shocked by the question being turned on him. 

 

“What, are you interested?” Nick half-joked, smiling awkwardly as he tried to laugh and play his nervousness off. It didn’t work. He looked back at Seiji who seemed solemn, more so than he had been since they had started and Nick stopped dancing. 

 

“I don’t mean to ask to be rude, I just…” Seiji let the sentence trail off, figuring Nicholas would put two and two together and not be an asshole by outing him to anyone. Luckily for him, Nicholas wasn’t so dense in this moment and picked up on what he was saying. 

 

“You just figured it was relevant because maybe I’d relate?” Nicholas asked softly. He had a small, bittersweet smile on his face. The look in his eyes was too knowing, and Seiji got his confirmation then and there. Feeling more comfortable with the solidarity, Seiji began to speak a little more openly, feeling a release of tension as he went. 

 

“My father has spent a good deal of my life raising me, preparing me for events like this so I won’t end up alone like him. My mother died - no, don’t apologize - when I was six and he’s struggled to find someone who loves him as much as she did since. He believes he’s bad with women, and doesn’t want me to suffer the same fate.” In a rare display of emotion, Seiji felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. 

Their arms had fallen a while ago when they’d stopped, so when Seiji was brought into a tight hug by Nicholas he was taken by surprise. Breathing a little shakily, he continued as he started to choke up. 

 

“You pointed out he’s not visited once, and I don’t think he intends to hurt me, but I can’t imagine him supporting me having a boyfriend. So I just keep everything about that shut down so he doesn’t have to know, and I can prepare for living separate from my family.”

 

Nick sighed deeply, holding Seiji even tighter as he tried to gather himself. What Seiji had just said made a lot of sense. Looking back on it, Nick wondered how he hadn’t pieced that together on his own. Sure, Seiji was already isolated by people but the fact he didn’t show vulnerable emotions in general should have been a red flag. Nick had met many insecure people, and was disappointed in himself for not picking up on the underlying connection he felt with Seiji. They both had to deal with being different, with Nick having to put up with bullies in his hometown and Seiji hiding part of himself from his father. Nick had so much to prove, and Seiji had so much to  _ protect _ . Nick couldn’t imagine how much pressure Seiji must have felt trying not to let anything slip. Tons of athletes were given shit for being LGBT+, and considering the immaturity of the group they were in? It was incredible Seiji had gone so long without having a breakdown about it, at least, not one in front of someone else. 

 

“You know,” Nick started, looking back at the fire. 

 

“I’m pretty sure our team counts as a pride.” At that, Seiji sniffled but it sounded like there was some humor behind it. Nick kept going, Seiji needed to cheer up after letting that out. 

 

“Aiden is clearly gay, Kally and Tanner have been dating for like, a year - I’m here, and there’s you.” Pulling back, Nicholas saw Seiji’s face was starting to settle a little bit, eyes losing the redness from crying. 

 

“You forgot Bobby and Harvard,” Seiji said, chuckling. 

 

“Eh, I figured they kind of spoke for themselves. Bobby is pretty open about it, and Harvard...Well, he’s the only Distinguished Gay™ I’ve seen on this team.”

 

“What the hell is a ‘distinguished gay’?” 

 

“Do you know what gay panic is?” 

 

“Isn’t it the same as whatever regular panic is?” 

 

“Nope - it’s when you’re gay and someone attractive does something that makes you freak out. Like, say a cute guy gets up in your face and you’re just like ‘Seiji.exe has crashed’.” 

 

“Did...you just compare me to a computer file?” 

 

“Yup! But more importantly, do you get it?” Nick was entirely too chipper and close. 

 

Something clicked in Seiji’s brain and he said, “Yes. I think so.” 

  
  


Winding down a bit from the heavy topic, Nick started to feel tired and suggested they head back. It was only six a.m. and they still had a few more hours they could use to rest, and given the weekend status there wouldn’t be any guards pissed about kids casually walking the campus grounds (and totally  _ not  _ sneaking back on). Unfortunately they had to wait a little longer to make sure the fire completely died, so they didn’t leave immediately but they did set everything back where it was meant to be. 

 

_ It’s kind of nice _ , Nick thought, looking at the fire. He hadn’t had a friend like this  _ ever _ . It was soothing getting to listen to someone, especially someone he never would have expected to want him to help. It was boosting his confidence, and making Seiji less unapproachable. Sure, they had to spend time together so it wasn’t like they were avoiding one another, but being required to be near someone and choosing to do so were two entirely different things. And the emotional vulnerability? That was something Nick felt almost  _ blessed  _ to see. How many people had been this close to understanding Seiji? Nick had no idea, but he felt pretty certain that he was the first person Seiji had been able to unload those problems onto and that brought him a sense of pride. 

 

As the last embers flickered out, the two swept up the ashes and chucked them far enough away from the clubhouse so they wouldn’t be seen. Nick emptied his water bottle over the spilled dust before leaving. It was against his nature to disrespect Smokey the bear, after all. 

 

Walking carefully through the dampened leaves, Nick made it back to Seiji who was waiting for him by the door and did one last check of the place. The sun was starting to rise, and it was looking like a beautiful morning after that ridiculous front. Although it wasn’t as cold as before, it was still pretty miserable and Nick could see Seiji’s patience wearing thinner and thinner with his clear discomfort. It was time to head back. 

 

“You ready?” Nick asked, voice reaching Seiji quickly through the cold air. 

 

“Yes.” Seiji nodded, face back to its normal ‘sophisticated’ RBF mode. It was a good sign. 

 

“Then let’s go.” 

 

And so they did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUUUUUUUUUGH I am so glad you read this!!! Like I said in Ch.1 - bruh ur groping my soul I am so touched! I can't wait to crank out No.5 and upload it for you, so until then please hold on, kudos and/or comment. I love feedback and I literally cry reading all the comments I get. I hope you can relate to this story and that you think it fits well within canon so far. <3 Have a lovely time.


	5. Highly Suspect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys head back for the clubhouse meeting and discover suspicion is growing. Shameless references to Planet Earth, David Attenborough is my dad. 
> 
>  
> 
> (r/s)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHA we're finally halfway, baby!!!! Oh my god these chapters keep getting longer and I'm LIVING for it! :D Bruh, this was so much fun to write. ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> Expect some more drama soon, because we all know our poor boys haven't suffered enough. ;)

“Remind me why we have to go back?” Nick whined, half laughing at how annoyed he was with the return trip needed for the clubhouse. The extra hour and a half of sleep had been nice, but now that it was time to head over for the club meeting, he was seriously dreading it. Seiji wasn’t too bothered by the situation, however. 

 

“You knew we were going to have to do this and agreed to practice when we did. I don’t see why you’re getting dramatic about it.” Seiji replied curtly, eyebrow raised to suit his sarcastic expression. Nicholas couldn’t see it behind the ducky curtain, but Seiji was smiling slightly. It was kind of funny, how he knew Nick was upping some of the dramatics to try and make him laugh/react. Although he didn’t really understand why Nicholas did that, he was starting to appreciate the effort nonetheless. 

 

Reaching the clubhouse for their team meeting was easier, especially since the sun had risen and the cold the storm had brought had dissipated a little. Nick thanked his lucky stars that it did, because if the team noticed the room was warmer than it should have been...Ooh, that would be difficult trying to feign innocence. Contrary to assumed belief, Nick wasn’t really good at lying. He would have to really believe in what he was lying for in order to be convincing, and although he knew he and Seiji weren’t being bad, there was some part of him that was starting to feel less defensive of it. More relaxed about it, and less afraid of being discovered. Perhaps the dancing was helping him gain confidence, perhaps the mood had transformed. But something in the dynamic Nick felt with Seiji had evolved since they had begun, and it was shown in the little things. How the silence in their room was now a comfortable one, how Nick could tell the difference in Seiji’s more subtle mood changes, like the faintest shift in a hue. It was peaceful, yet there was some kind of budding tension, and whatever it was for, Nick wasn’t quite ready to place a name on it yet - much less face it. 

 

Entering the now crowded room, Nick felt himself relax a little. No one had noticed anything thus far, and everyone was excitedly chattering about the next tournament they had coming up. It would happen a week after Homecoming and they would face off with Exton and some other boys’ teams from rival schools. Eugene was convinced he could kick some ass, even though he might not get to fence, being a reserve like Nicholas. Nick wondered how that whole scenario would work - because he was on scholarship, the school must require he actually fence and _compete_ at some point. Would coach Williams figure something out about that for him? 

 

Seiji on the other hand, wasn’t quite relaxed as he sat in the single chair nearest the fire. Team events weren’t really his thing, and although he had grown a bit better at socializing with his teammates he still was an introvert by nature. He was honestly surprised with himself for not being more exhausted, given the time he had already spent with Nicholas today - shouldn’t he be more done with people? Furrowing his brows together, lost in thought Seiji reflected on this. No matter who he was with, he would usually have his limit reached after an hour or two - but he had definitely surpassed that with Nicholas and wasn’t bothered. In fact, he actually felt pretty _good_. Like he’d gotten to accomplish something important (aside from the deep talk, of course), to take better care of himself. This companionship was new and he began to wonder what was so different. Until his thoughts were interrupted by a teddy bear smacking him in the head, nearly tumbling into the flames by his side. 

 

What the hell? Seiji picked up the bear and held it up to inspect it, then heard Bobby’s higher pitched voice reach his ears, answering his question. 

 

“ _Pringles!!!_ Seiji I’m so sorry - “ the small boy came over, quickly snatching the bear out of Seiji’s hands before explaining further. 

 

“SOMEbody threw him,” Bobby glared at Aiden who at least had the decency to look apologetic. 

 

“I’m sorry, Bobby. I shouldn’t have thrown Pringles, even if it would help bring ‘Space Cadet’ over there back to Earth and get him to listen to the meeting.” Aiden mocked, somehow turning an apology for one into an insult for another.

 

Seiji wasn’t very fond of Aiden, he had already decided that - but Aiden’s petty resentment of him was something else altogether. Seiji wondered if there was something underneath it that he wasn’t seeing, some type of similarity between the two that Aiden had to express anger over. When he was five and his mother was still alive, she’d told him that bullies hated certain people for reminding them of themselves. But Aiden wasn’t very much like Seiji - he was outgoing, very...flirtatious, Seiji thought, and wasn’t a hardworking fencer. Come to think of it, Seiji couldn’t remember why Aiden even enjoyed fencing in the first place. Before he could finish that train of thought, he felt little arms wrapped around him squeezing him tightly. 

 

His eyebrows shot up and he retreated a little, but Bobby was a persistent hugger. Luckily for him, Nicholas interrupted Bobby’s gratitude sharing and called the smaller boy over. 

 

“Hey, Bobby - come check this out!” Nicholas was pointing at a weird looking bird outside, something Seiji _knew_ Nicholas found mundane. Nicholas was more interested in foreign biomes, and the only birds Seiji had ever known him to get excited over were birds of paradise, specifically the one that looked like a jumping frowny face. He’d discovered this while they had reviewed an episode of _Planet Earth_ for their biology class. Although the assignment itself was a boring “fill out as you watch” worksheet, he and Nicholas had enjoyed the film. Memories of delicate, wispy little fungi grew in his mind until he snapped back to reality. 

 

It was an unfortunately timed moment as Kally’s voice floated through the room, a question which made Seiji freeze. The longer-haired boy had stood near Seiji at some point and was checking out the mantel where his candles were. 

 

“Who’s been burning the candles, guys?” Kally didn’t seem bothered, Seiji noted, just curious. Regardless, he couldn’t let Kally find out. It was too personal and although the worst that could happen would probably be teasing, Seiji felt a sense of wanting to protect his time alone with Nicholas. It was something special, something no one else knew about and could bother him for. It felt almost...sacred. 

 

Nicholas had also frozen slightly for a second, before resuming his relaxed stance. Seiji would have to speak to him about proper posture - he was going to weaken his back! Shaking his head slightly at the concerned thought, he heard the (inaccurate) conclusion the team would draw being given. 

 

“Aiden, have you been taking your dates back here?” Harvard asked, deeper voice rumbling with disappointment and concern - laced with something else. Seiji couldn’t quite pin it down, but it sounded important. 

 

Aiden was spluttering denials, and for once Seiji felt a sense of sympathy for the boy. Although Aiden was a rude upperclassman who harassed him for unknown, probably invalid reasons - he was still a person and his closeness with Harvard wasn’t exactly hard to see. _It must suck to have your best friend be upset with you like that._

 

Subtly looking back to Nicholas, who was thankfully still standing in front of one of the windows - Seiji caught the relieved look on his face. It had only lasted a fraction of a second, but knowing neither of them had been suspected was a good enough sign to stay calm for him. 

 

Kally was interrupting Harvard’s chastising Aiden now, saying “I’m not upset about it - I actually wanted to know if anyone else likes candles like I do. My moms make them, and I’ve been meaning to use these up - it’s okay if you used them, Aiden -” but unfortunately that conversation wouldn’t end immediately. Not wanting to be rude, Seiji went right back to daydreaming until important team information was brought up again, but in his distraction missed the frustrated look on the blonde’s face. If he’d have seen, he might have been able to prevent what was to come. 

 

After the team left, it was a few more days until Seiji and Nicholas got to dance again. Their routine was beginning to change, however. The night guard had increased after more...graffiti had been found, this time permanent. Unfortunately this meant that they would have to sneak out in the mornings instead, but it was kind of working out for Seiji better. Now he had someone used to his schedule, as Nicholas was waking up at the same time as him daily - either to train on the other side of the salle, or to sneak out with him. Seiji had been used to being alone, spare for his trainer and Sandra, the friendly janitor who worked the night shift. Although they were perfectly nice people (Sandra more so than Dmytro), it wasn’t the same as the companionship Nicholas provided him. 

 

Even the hug from Nicholas was different. Sure, it had definitely been more emotionally charged on both fronts but Bobby was a sweet boy, and somehow that hug had not only been a little uncomfortable, it felt less...comforting. Seiji knew he wasn’t great with physical affection, that much was obvious - it hadn’t really been a thing for him, especially outside of family gatherings. Those were infrequent, but energized enough that Seiji remembered how the closeness felt different from group to group. Team and family hugs were incomparable to the one he’d received from Nicholas so early that emotional morning. Wincing at the memory, Seiji had to change his train of thought. He was studying, or at least, _trying_ to in the gorgeous Kings Row library. 

 

It was a giant building, perhaps a half mile from Castello and was filled to the brim with books and magazines. If Seiji rooted around far enough in the archives, he could find old newspapers the school published back in the 1970’s. But that wasn’t what he needed to focus on. Trying to learn about Robert Coste wasn’t going to help him get anywhere here. As he moved his textbook to the side of the small table he’d occupied, he overheard a troubling conversation from behind the shelves nearest him. 

 

“Nick, why do you have splinters on your vest?” That was Tanner. _Shit_. 

 

“I do? Oh, how did those get there?” Nicholas was laughing quietly, the kind of chuckling he did when trying to play down a situation. _How do I know that?_ Seiji asked himself as he stayed frozen, looking at his homework but laser-focused on the two speaking so near him. 

 

“It’s red pine - that stuff only grows far out in the woods, Nick. Wait - you have a lighter, Nick are you doing drugs?” Tanner’s voice raised in volume, but Seiji heard a faint slap - Nicholas must have covered the loud ginger’s mouth. _Hmph_ , Seiji smirked. Now Nicholas knew what it was like. 

 

“Tanner, dude. Chill - I’m not doing drugs. You don’t need to worry. I go to the woods sometimes, but that’s all.” Nicholas answered. Seiji pursed his lips, worried Tanner might make the connection. Nicholas wasn’t a great liar, and although Tanner could be denser than Nicholas at times, Seiji knew it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that he’d see through this one. 

 

“Then what’s your lighter for? We’re not allowed to have candles on campus - Kally has complained about that enough times - and if you’re not lighting anything illegal then why even bother having it? We were given flashlights for emergencies.” Tanner hissed, obviously still worried about what Nicholas was doing. 

 

“It’s not for anything bad, I promise. It’s...kind of dumb, actually. I...I use it to burn letters I’ll never send. You know?” Seiji’s brows drew together at this and he felt his mouth open slightly in surprise. Nicholas sounded _vulnerable_ , like when they had talked about Seiji’s father. In a moment of realization, Seiji recalled the scraps Nicholas had been so defensive over when they lit the fire for their first morning practice. _Were_ those _the letters he had just mentioned_? 

 

“Oh, I’m sorry - ” Tanner started to apologize, the guilt was clearly coming through his tone. 

“It’s okay - you didn’t know, and I’m kinda glad you’re a ‘mom’ friend. It’s nice to have caring people around. Back at my old school people would just want in on whatever “stash” they thought I had.” 

 

As the two walked to another part of the section, their voices fading, Seiji decided to himself that he would ask Nicholas about those letters. He felt a tad guilty for overhearing Nicholas’s conversation with Tanner, but when he thought about it he figured Nicholas deserved someone to listen to him, too. Maybe Seiji could fill that role. 

 

His chest fluttered at the thought. Thinking it was an actual ailment, he coughed slightly to find no distress. _Strange_. Whatever it was, it didn’t matter. What mattered was getting through today so he could ask Nicholas about that part of his life. After all, who did Nicholas have letters he could never send to? 

  
  
  


As Nicholas entered the room, Seiji prepared himself to admit to overhearing and being worried. It might not go well, and he was trying to ready himself for Nicholas potentially exploding at him for eavesdropping - although part of that was unfair, given Tanner and Nicholas were close to him and speaking too loudly for a library. Without looking up from his bed, he steadied his voice and spoke. 

 

“Nicholas, it’s occurred to me that people are growing suspicious.” 

 

Nicholas stopped for a second before placing his bag down beside his bed, leaving his side of the room oddly neat. He sat down on his side of the bed, Seiji could hear the old thing creaking slightly under his weight. The duckies were still dividing them, their smile almost mocking Seiji’s anxiety. 

 

“You overheard me and Tanner?” Nicholas’s voice wasn’t accusatory, much like Kally’s he seemed...not upset? 

 

“Yes, and I apologize. I was studying and you two happened to be nearby. If I had my headphones I would’ve tuned you out, but...I didn’t and after I heard what he said I got nervous.” 

 

Seiji was still pretty amped up, even though Nicholas didn’t sound upset with him he felt guilty for asking to change things. Should he be doing this? What if Nicholas became disappointed in him and wanted to stop hanging out?

 

The curtain in front of him suddenly slid to the side, and Seiji felt exposed. Nicholas had stood up to move it, and his hand was still clutching the tacky fabric. 

 

“You really think we need to reschedule? Because I think the whole ‘twigs being stuck to me’ problem can be solved much easier with another method.” 

 

“What do you mean? How?” 

 

“You can just inspect me or help me lintroll the hell out of my uniform. I doubt anyone else is as attentive as you, and I’ll bet the only reason Tanner noticed is because of his Eagle Scout project coming up. The guy’s been _obsessing_ over different trees he wants to plant.” 

 

“You want me...to _groom_ you?” Seiji asked incredulously. If he didn’t know Nicholas was being serious, Seiji might have laughed. 

 

“Sure! You’re always so well put-together, I figure you would notice anything out of place faster than I ever could.”

 

Any other time Seiji would have been flattered by the compliment, an admittedly frequent one he received - but he was still stuck on the _Planet Earth_ aspect of this scenario. Grooming Nicholas like that made it sound like they were chimps or other less-evolved primates. It was disappointing. Seiji’s mind betrayed him as he recalled a more human version of this trait, the scene where Wendy’s mother fixed her husband’s tie in _Peter Pan_. Feeling himself start to flush at the comparison, Seiji steeled himself back to the conversation. 

 

“Fine, I’ll help. But we should still probably get back to nighttime practices on weekends.”

 

“If we’re doing that I can only do Saturday, then, sorry.” Nicholas replied, looking a bit sheepish as he elaborated. “I’ve gotta call my grandma Sunday night, it’s her birthday and she’s on a weird sleep schedule.” 

  
“That’s okay. I hope she has a nice birthday.” Seiji was mostly being polite, but he did wonder about Nicholas’s family. Were they anything like his own? _Probably not,_ given how messy and loud Nicholas was.

 

A comfortable silence fell over the room, and Seiji found himself becoming drowsy. Not bothering to ask Nicholas to get the light, he snuggled down into bed and closed his eyes. Now that the problem was solved, he could finally relax and was able to sleep easier. Shame that wouldn't last. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, poor Seiji. I wonder what's going to happen to throw you off so much? Must be something important. ;)
> 
>  
> 
> FORGOT TO BEG FOR COMMENTS AND KUDOS, I am very disappointed in myself. We all know my bitch ass loves to read.


	6. You Would Not Believe Your Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'know that thing I mentioned? About what would start disturbing Seiji's sleep? Yeah that shit's gonna happen now. >:)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooo! Thanks for the patience, people! :D 
> 
> I've had a not so great mental health week - but that shit is over and I got around to finishing this chapter, and motherFUCKER this took so much space!!! I didn't even realize it but it's +4600 words. Like, wow. I hope that the amount and quality of the content makes up for the gap in updates. 
> 
> <3 <3 <3 Hope you enjoy!!

 

Things had gone well today. In order to balance out the schedule shift, they decided to try and sneak in two practices this weekend. They’d had one so far, and Seiji could see Nicholas was getting really good at all the motions. Seiji felt proud of himself, thinking of how he had taught Nicholas something difficult and helped him get it down in a matter of weeks. They had increased tempo and tried some more difficult maneuvers - and gotten them right! Yes, it was a successful day, Seiji thought as he moved closer to Nicholas. 

 

Since their agreement that Seiji would have to ‘screen’ Nicholas for any twigs and pine needles, it left Seiji closer to Nicholas and even more responsible for the duo than before. Stepping up to Nicholas, Seiji gazed closely at the navy fabric of his jacket before brushing it with his bare hands - his gloves were far too precious to him to allow twigs to stick to them. Most of the debris came off pretty easily, but he found himself struggling with tiny...pine needles? Which had lodged themselves into one of the creases of Nicholas’s sleeve. 

 

“Arm,” Seiji commanded and Nicholas obliged, extending it for closer inspection. 

 

“Wow, you’re better at this than I thought. I didn’t even see those!” Nick muttered, Seiji lost in trying to get rid of the offending fibers. 

 

In that moment it struck Seiji how close the two were. Not just in boundaries, but how much they had bonded. Here he was, digging out obnoxious plant matter from the clothes of a person he used to barely stand. Someone he had called “Zero”, and belittled. His brows furrowed in thought, as he finished up the job. When he looked back on it, Nicholas had never really deserved his poor attitude. Seiji shouldn’t have let his arrogance get the best of him, if Nicholas hadn’t been so forgiving it could have cost him what he was now seeing as the closest relationship he had. He glanced up and was met with the softest look anyone had ever given him, and he blinked rapidly while stepping back. 

 

“You okay there?” Oh god, Nicholas was so  _ genuine  _ it hurt. 

 

“Yes, I’m fine. Let’s head back.” Seiji replied a tad more sharply than normal. He hoped it didn’t leave the wrong impression, he just needed to get out of the room and back to his own space where he could think. He was too damn flustered for his own good, he needed to get this out of his system. 

  
  
  
  


Seiji returned to his small study corner in the library and began writing, trying desperately to scratch out anything that resembled the feelings that were running through his system. Although his thoughts were somewhat scrambled and definitely frantic, the more he wrote the calmer he felt and the closer he grew to reaching a conclusion. But try as he might, it wasn’t quite there. Was he so emotionally stunted by his own fear that he couldn’t even get a grip on his feelings? Trying to silence an exasperated sigh, Seiji pinched the bridge of his nose as he frowned. This was ridiculous. As he overheard the unintelligible chatter of the students twenty or so feet from him, Seiji remembered something. He’d forgotten to ask Nicholas about the letters he’d mentioned to Tanner. Well, forgotten was more of a forgiving word - he gauged from the social climate of the room that it wasn’t a good time. But something about what Nicholas said had been eating away at his brain. There was some level of truth to it, and Seiji wanted to know. He wanted to understand. Nicholas had already seen Seiji at the lowest he’d ever been in front of another person (spare for the death of his mother, but that wasn’t really comparable for obvious reasons), and while they had been symbiotic - there was an imbalance, Seiji felt. Something was off-kilter about their dynamic, and perhaps this would be the solution - learning more.  

 

Picking up his notebook full of scribbled out thoughts he’d written over in order to disguise them, Seiji resolved himself to his choice and set about getting through the rest of the day. 

  
  


Nick was wondering to himself what was up with Seiji this morning. Everything had been going so well while they practiced, but after his sleeve was clean Seiji had closed off rather suddenly. Was it the look Nick had been giving him? Seiji wasn’t really supposed to see that, but somehow it felt wrong trying to hide it once he’d been caught. It was like keeping a secret from the other boy. Nick thought he hadn’t been too obvious, but perhaps his growing affection for Seiji was starting to shine through. In some ways it didn’t surprise him, how a person he’d changed trajectory for was rapidly becoming his best friend. 

 

Walking alongside a creek on the edge of campus, Nick found himself entering the forest again. The thick pine scent coated his lungs, and the evergreen beauty around him was stunning. While some of the deciduous trees near campus had already lost their leaves, the resilience of the deeper forest enchanted Nick. Stepping further into the scenery, he found a sense of peace he hadn’t realized he’d been missing. Running his fingers along the edges of the needles growing around him, he felt a slight sting as one of them pricked his skin.  _ Whoops _ , he thought as he giggled at himself, rolling his eyes. 

 

The creek bubbled and turned a little to the right as he walked parallel to it. It began expanding into a wider mouth until he came across a small pond. It wasn’t like the ones you would see in the movies, the ones that were all clear and pristine somehow. It was just as much a part of nature as the dead crickets he stepped over; it was imperfect. Some wildflowers had wilted and dried around the edge of the side nearest Nick. It was scenic and soothing. 

 

He sat down by the waterside and began to think.  _ What could he have done to bother Seiji? _

  
  


//

Seiji was overthinking things, that had to be it. He was probably just nervous around Nick because he’d been so vulnerable with him. It wasn’t in his nature to open up to people so he must have been feeling threatened. Yes, that was it. Threatened. 

  
  


It was a longer feeling day. Not much had been going on on campus and they didn’t have practice that night with the team, so it dragged on. Feeling bored with the slow-pace, Nick texted Seiji and asked if he wanted to dance again that night. It was a bit strange, Nick admitted to himself - but he felt that the clubhouse was one of the only places he and Seiji were more honest with one another. Although that honesty was trickling its way through the other aspects of their lives together, it was a slower process and wouldn’t likely help Nick figure out what set Seiji off earlier. 

 

To his surprise, Seiji not only agreed but told him he’d been considering the same idea. Huh. Well, no matter who asked, the two were going to be spending time together and trying to make the best of a stupidly slow day. 

  
  


Meanwhile, Aiden Kane was in a bad mood. Harvard had been on his ass for only ten minutes about the candles-and-dates accusation, but he’d never felt so affronted in his life. After being chewed out by his best friend  and eternal crush he decided he would stakeout the clubhouse to see who had been visiting. Unfortunately, he hadn’t found time until tonight as his classes had picked up lately. Being a junior was  _ hard _ . Brushing his glossy mane back with a hand, the gorgeous boy reviewed his plan: sneak out, wait, and try to get evidence. Was he being overdramatic? Probably a bit - but he couldn’t help it. Even though Harvard had forgiven him, the thought that his favorite person was resentful towards him was so tough to handle. Not to mention, it was unjustified. He wasn’t even guilty! Unaware of the glare forming on his face, Aiden barely noticed his Bons shrinking away from his gaze. 

 

He thanked his lucky stars his mother (the real one, not that Insta-thot Clarice) had blessed him with beauty, grace and incredible attention to detail. It helped him land stupid boys for flings, get good enough grades to stay on the team, and put a bitch in his place when necessary. But those skills had come into handy in a different way as of late - you see, Aiden had started taking photos of the candles every day. In doing so he’d noticed a pattern of what days he’d notice a slight decrease in the candles’ height. He was a sneaky  evil genius. 

 

It wasn’t his ideal way to spend a Saturday night - usually he’d be curled up in bed with some lovesick fool who thought he wouldn’t be like the rest, or with Harvard watching  _ Robin Hood _ or other medieval movies to pass the time. Oh, well. It’s not like snooping wasn’t fun in and of itself. Smirking, Aiden started to feel a bit more excited about tonight’s prospects. 

  
  


Seiji and Nicholas had safely made it to the clubhouse, the starlit sky making the trek slightly easier. While walking, Seiji tried to work himself up to asking Nicholas about those letters he’d mentioned earlier. The leaves were crunching under his feet and reminding him that they were running out of time to prepare. He sighed again, catching the attention of the brunette who asked him what was wrong. 

 

Helping Nicholas set up the area, Seiji waited until the candles were lit and the fire was started. The weather had only gotten colder and with the approaching Connecticut winter, he wasn’t looking forward to any team meetings they would have in December. Navigating the small room until he was in front of Nicholas, Seiji tried to subtly guide him in front of the flames so he could see Nicholas’s face. It was hard enough reading him normally, he didn’t need the added disadvantage of being in the dark. The irony not lost on him, Seiji prepared to hopefully learn more about his teammate and began. 

 

“Nicholas?” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“I was wondering, um.” Seiji stuttered unintelligently. He hadn’t been feeling so flustered ten seconds ago, why did he have to fuck up now? Gritting his teeth and getting through it, he persisted. 

 

“Who do you write letters to?” There. Now he’d done it, and worst came to worst Nicholas probably wouldn’t kill him. Unless he did, in which case Seiji should’ve chosen to try this on campus where it would be much harder to hide his body.  _ Stop being dramatic, _ Seiji chided himself. This train of thought was getting him nowhere, he needed to leave it at the station. 

 

“Wait, you remembered that? I thought you were just worried about Tanner interrogating me.” Nick responded, seeming curious and oddly...amused? Seiji was confused but pressed on. 

 

“Of course I was! I just - ” Seiji turned his head to the side in embarrassment, forgetting to keep an eye on Nicholas so he could read him. 

 

“You just what?” Nicholas’s voice definitely had humor in it. The bastard. Seiji wondered how on Earth he put up with this boy. Internally rolling his eyes - or perhaps externally, judging by the snickering he heard, Seiji tried yet again. 

 

“I was...worried, I suppose.” Seiji risked a glance at Nicholas, whose face had fallen more serious at the remark. Steadying his posture back to a falsely positive one, he hoped to convey a message of indifference. Shame it didn’t work. 

 

“Aw, that’s sweet.” Seiji’s head snapped toward Nicholas, who now wore a bittersweet smile. 

 

Nicholas didn’t give him the time to retort or deny that last statement, however. 

“I appreciate your concern. Wait, is this what’s been bugging you today?”  _ Shit _ . Seiji had been discovered. _ Abort, abort!  _ Seiji felt his words coming up like vomit, he couldn’t stop them. Where had his impeccable self control gone? 

 

“Perhaps. And perhaps I wanted to feel on the same level as you.” 

 

“What do you mean? You’re infinitely above me, there’s no way you’re backing down from your ranking so much.” Nicholas was chuckling and looking at Seiji with a flattered grin. 

 

“I meant - I meant how I talked to you about my people problem. I thought, maybe - nevermind.” Why was Seiji shutting this down? Why wasn’t he letting Nicholas answer? Since when did Seiji consider Nicholas’s limits when wanting information?

 

“Seiji don’t hold back - are you wanting me to tell you about this because you’re curious or because you think my knowing your secrets is unfair?” Nicholas sounded a bit different, his tone was a bit darker, almost threatening. Well, it was time to die anyways. 

 

“Both.” Seiji blurted out, instantly regretting his answer. Nicholas’s eyebrows flew up in shock, and although he didn’t initially seem pleased he quickly let his face fall back to being calmer. 

 

“I suppose that’s fair, actually.” 

 

“No it’s not.” 

 

“What do you mean, ‘it’s not’?” 

 

“You…” Seiji spluttered, trying to sort his head out as he went. “You agreed to help me with my personal problems, not to tell me all of your own.” He realized he’d crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive stance, and undid them to try and appear more at ease. The motion did nothing to change his mood, though. 

 

Now Nicholas was sighing, and Seiji felt an overwhelming sense of awkwardness and guilt. This couldn’t be good, and just when he thought Nicholas was walking out to leave, the brunette sat down on the couch across from the fireplace and gestured for Seiji to join him. This had to be a trap. But as if in a trance, Seiji walked up and sat on the other side of the couch, too timid to be right next to him. 

 

“Y’know, you can sit closer. I’m not mad at you.” Seiji’s eye twitched. He had a premonition from regionals that Nicholas was going to be the death of him if they ever spent time together, and the more they hung out the more he realized his instincts were correct. Sliding over a few inches, Seiji figured that he was close enough to Nicholas so he would stop complaining. He was wrong. 

 

“Okay, because apparently my hint-dropping is garbage, I’m asking you to sit next to me so I can hug you when I get emotional.” Nicholas’s face was directed away from Seiji, the typically outgoing, couldn’t-give-a-crap about invading personal space attitude gone. His ears were bright red, and seeing the sign of submission Seiji felt a lot more confident. He moved over a little further to Nicholas before nudging him to slide over, too. 

 

“I’m not doing all the work here, Nicholas.” Seiji said, in a slightly haughty tone. He was joking, but something told him that he would do well to try and make Nicholas smile before this ordeal happened. Clearly those letters meant a lot more to him than he had realized, and by making Nicholas comfortable he was more likely to get answers - and Nicholas  _ had  _ mentioned a hug. 

 

Nick moved over slightly, sliding over until he was only a few inches away from Seiji. He couldn’t meet the other boy’s eyes at the moment, so he tried to smooth out the wrinkles in his pants to keep himself calm. 

 

“I write those letters to my dad. I can’t tell you who he is, I’m sorry - it’s kind of a big deal and I’m not really ready to tell anyone about it, so don’t think I’m just hiding this from you to be a dick.” Nick shook his head, brown hair falling in front of his downcast eyes. Shoulders slumping, he continued his explanation. 

 

“I live with my mom and although my dad is  _ very much alive _ , he was never around to help take care of me. I didn’t even know who he was until a few years ago. I was looking through some old photo albums, saw my mother standing near him and it just  _ clicked _ .” Taking his head into his hands, Nick started to feel himself tear up with guilt and resentment. 

 

“I’m the product of an affair.” At this, Seiji’s eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened. Mouth parting slightly, Seiji covered his lips with his hand as if to keep the secret he’d just been told. Wow, no wonder Nicholas was so tight-lipped about writing. There wasn’t anything Seiji could really say to make the situation any better, so he decided to act instead. Reaching his hand out, Seiji placed it gently on Nicholas’s back and tried to gently soothe him. When that didn’t quite seem to be working, Seiji decided to take some pressure of initiating off Nicholas and hugged him. Seiji wasn’t the best at hugs, and considering it was a kind of sideways one it was awkward as hell - but it seemed to be better than what he’d tried earlier. Now Nicholas was breathing more steadily. 

 

“Do you wanna get the rest of this over and done with?” Nicholas sniffled, starting to smile again. Seiji couldn’t see it but he felt the mood shift as they pulled apart. 

 

Taking one another’s hands, the two stood up and began playing the music they’d been working with. Nicholas, deciding to amp things up a notch to really clear his mind - was a little shit and hit 1.5x speed on the song they’d been practicing with earlier this morning. Surprised at the change in pace, Seiji felt himself being almost thrown about like a ragdoll and was stumbling rather ungracefully. To his surprise, it was kinda fun. The climactic point of the song was already fast, and the closer they got to it the more Seiji felt himself start to laugh. This was a disaster - Nicholas had abandoned good form and at this point was goofing off. 

 

Nicholas felt something in his heart stop. Seiji Katayama was laughing - and not in a mocking manner. His steps slowed as he realized the song was over, and Nicholas didn’t realize he was pulling himself and Seiji closer together. The firelight behind them was a gorgeous orange and its rays reflected off Seiji’s dark hair, making it look more of a dark brown in the small room. Wind was rustling the pine trees outside, making a soft melody in the quiet woods. It was a small corner of the world, one where magic seemed to flow and time seemed to stop. 

 

Gazing at the smiling face of the boy in front of him, Nick knew he had that same look of wonder and awe as he did this morning. Seiji’s eyes were closed in mirth, his beauty mark raised as he grinned and chuckled, coming down from the high of laughing so hard. He was  _ beautiful _ . 

  
  
  


Seiji looked at Nicholas, his eyelids lowering slightly as he gazed into sparkling brown eyes. Nicholas looked incredible, and so...soft. Realizing how close they were, Seiji felt his heart start to beat faster until he could hear it in his ears. Nicholas was holding his hand and waist - did he realize the effect he was having on him? Squeezing the other boy’s hand slightly, Seiji felt nervous and fidgety all of a sudden. He couldn’t tell if he wanted to run away or get even closer to Nicholas, and the dilemma was distressing him. The look on his face must have betrayed his thoughts, because Nicholas’s face returned to normal and he spoke. 

 

“Y’know, you haven’t asked me about how to hit on people yet.” 

 

_ Jesus,  _ this boy was going to give Seiji a heart attack. Stiffening before stepping back and releasing their hands, Seiji started the music up again - this time at a perfectly  _ reasonable  _ pace, thank you very much. Breathing carefully, Seiji looked at Nicholas expectantly and waited for him to pick up what he was trying to signal.  _ Let’s talk while dancing so I don’t freak out. _ Thankfully Nicholas wasn’t still distracted from...looking at him like that, so they resumed dancing normally. 

 

“I figured it wouldn’t be relevant for a while longer.” Nicholas was pivoting fluidly, the motion finally looking natural. 

 

“What? We have a dance coming up SOON, how is it not relevant?” Seiji tried to keep his face straight as he searched internally for answers and excuses. 

 

“I don’t plan on flirting at people.” He blurted out, thinking perhaps it would be enough to satisfy the insistent brunette. Spinning carefully, Seiji stepped back in front of Nicholas who did not look pleased. 

 

“With.” 

 

“Not if it’s unrequited.” Shit. Where did  _ that  _ come from? Oof, Seiji was digging himself into a grave. 

Despite the obvious opening, Nicholas didn’t press forward. It seemed like he was respecting Seiji’s privacy, and that he’d noticed the surprise on Seiji’s own face when he made that comment. 

 

“I apologize,” Seiji started. He stepped backwards again but this time Nicholas followed, letting him lead - which was not Seiji’s intent. When had they become so balanced? Only a few weeks ago they would have been tripping all over the place and Nicholas wouldn’t have known what to do - and Seiji could tell Nicholas knew they were disobeying steps, because he’d started to frown and pursed his lips in concentration, trying to think of what to do next. 

 

“Don’t - whatever you think you did wrong just now, you didn’t.” 

 

Seiji was stunned. Nicholas was typically candid but this was a whole other level. Raising their arms, Nicolas guided Seiji into one of his ‘spins’ and they performed the maneuver incredibly. Nicholas’s hands moved from Seiji’s waist and hand to his shoulders and lower back, and suddenly Seiji was being lowered into a dip. 

 

“Nicholas this is hardly necessary! -” Seiji was bright red and caught completely off guard. Nicholas was giggling now as he held the taller boy in place, snickering as Seiji struggled with him slightly. Both of them knew Seiji could easily get out of Nicholas’s embrace if he really tried - but the moment was lighthearted and as Seiji was slowly raised back up he felt the mood shift. 

 

His arms were wrapped around Nicholas’s shoulders and despite the minimal height difference he felt like he was drowning in the other boy. He was taller, for Christ’s sake - but he felt engulfed in Nicholas, like the arms around his waist were an anchor, a weighted blanket. Like they were keeping him grounded. 

 

Not only that, but they were starting to pull him in closer. Or was Seiji doing that on his own? His vision was getting almost hazy, and as he felt his chest start press to Nicholas’s he began feeling that racing heartbeat from earlier. Historically when Nicholas was up in Seiji’s face, Seiji would keep calm and be unbothered - but now? His heart was racing and he was certain Nicholas could feel it through his sweater -  _ he had to know _ . Seiji felt his hands retreat closer to him, resting closer to Nicholas’s neck, and as he finally looked into warm brown eyes he felt more lost than ever before. 

 

Seiji looked like he was about to cry, but not in an overly sad way - he looked so  _ moved _ . It was striking to Nicholas, and he was going to crack a joke about it, how his dancing skills were that impressive but something shifted then and now he and Seiji were leaning closer to one another. Nicholas knew he should be able to feel Seiji’s sweater hem - his hands were on the boy’s waist for god’s sake - but for the life of him he couldn’t focus. His lips slightly parted and he found himself staring back into Seiji’s vulnerable, honest eyes and was still. He felt ready to spring into action - but also as though he was being restrained. Something about this moment was exciting and calming, and he didn’t know how he was breathing so steadily. Had he stopped? He couldn’t think anymore. 

 

As the two leaned ever closer, the gap growing smaller - there was a loud snap outside. Leaping apart from one another, the two turned towards the window and prepared to run. What the hell was out there? Had someone come after them? Nicholas quickly doused the fire, and Seiji made his way to the door to peer out cautiously to see if there was anyone around. Even if the noise came from an animal - they were sure as  _ hell  _ leaving now. Whatever had just happened - Seiji gulped, not seeing anything - it was not the type of thing one simply returned to doing. What even  _ had  _ they been doing? He wondered, lost in thought as Nicholas crept up behind him and whispered, “Hey, do you see anything?” 

 

Jerking back (and directly into Nicholas’s torso), Seiji was entirely too surprised by the voice of the boy near him, and as he brought himself back up he felt nervous. He answered, “No, I didn’t - but we’d better get moving. Something may very well be out there, still.” and began moving backwards beyond Nicholas into the room. 

 

“We still have to put everything back,” he stated flatly. His nervousness was creeping through into the tone of his voice as he carried the chair back to its usual position. Nicholas helped him with the couch, and by their phone’s light they figured the room looked about as close to as it had been when they had started. Man, they were getting efficient at this. 

 

This time the hike back wasn’t as...social as it had been before. Instead of their usual playful banter or bickering, there was a strange silence. Something had changed tonight, and it was growing more and more evident with each passing step that they had crossed some type of bridge they couldn’t return from. There was a half-step made, not a full jump but definitely enough to throw them both off. It was evident in their walk back, not only in the silence but in their body language. Each would take turns trailing behind the other instead of walking side by side, each looking at the other in turns and shyly turning away. 

 

A wall climb, descent and a quarter mile or so later they were back at Castello, sneaking in through the back door again. The longer things were silent, the more so they needed to stay so. Seiji felt himself blushing to his ears when he recalled the last moments before that snap interrupted them - interrupted them from doing  _ what _ ? The more he thought about it the redder he got. Was he about to kiss Nicholas? Gauging by his reaction, the conclusion he came to wasn’t one he liked. Had he really been about to ruin his only close friendship? Just because a sweet boy was...well, sweet to him? Putting his hand over his mouth, Seiji caught himself imagining kissing Nicholas and felt his brain start to fry. As he opened the door to their dorm, he broke typical gentlemanly behavior and walked straight in, not waiting for Nicholas. 

 

The two changed and prepared for bed on opposite sides of the curtain, and the rest of the time they were awake, Nicholas and Seiji kept up the cycle of, “glance/stare at the other, get caught - blush and pretend they weren’t, look away, and repeat”. When the two were tucked in, they wouldn’t realize for a long time - but they were both looking at the suspended cloth, wishing desperately that it would fall. 

 

The two were sleeping peacefully minutes later, and all seemed well. That is, until the next morning Seiji received a text with a photo captioned, “Wow, so you and ‘Zero’? Huh. Didn’t realize  _ you  _ had game.” 

  
Yes, Aiden Kane was in a  _ much better  _ mood now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is me dicking around with a meme song I've loved since it originated in 2009. My personal edit? 
> 
> You would not believe your eyes//if Aiden Kane was a spy 
> 
>  
> 
> Too much? Probably, LOL. Either way, I'm keeping it in. We all know our favorite blonde is a total snoop and respects NO boundaries - except, maybe Harvard's. And even then - is it really respect if it's fear motivated? Go hit on him, Aiden, baby. We love and support you. Except, maybe not so much in *this* given situation. <3


	7. Pay Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seiji confronts Aiden, Nick gets advice from an unlikely source.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo I am so sorry this took so long - it's a bit shorter than the last update, I am fully aware. It has been one //hell// of a week as I've got a final in an online course coming up *just* as I begin another one. Phew! Getting these extra credits out of the way is not fun, but I'm doing my best to ace them so I can use my spare time for this and I appreciate your patience. 
> 
> Next update SHOULD come faster but I'm not making any promises as I do want to kick this final's ass and I hope you understand.

 

Seiji yawned softly, waking up and rustling his bedsheets as he started to move. He hadn’t rested well last night, especially after...whatever  _ that  _ was with Nicholas. Trying not to groan, he sat up and began getting ready for the day. As it was Sunday he could dress more casually, but for Seiji, casual meant an ironed Oxford and dark-wash jeans. There was no excuse for looking dreadful, after all - what was it his mother had quoted? Something like, “Dress shabbily and they remember the dress, dress impeccably and they remember the woman.” Ah, yes. It was one of her favorite sayings, she’d read it somewhere after a friend gave her some fancy design book. Although the quote was more so worded towards women in an older time, the general meaning of it could definitely be applied to Seiji today and by god he would do so. 

 

Checking his watch before grabbing his phone and stepping out, Seiji saw it light up with a message.  _ From: Blonde Bastard (Satan)  _ feeling a sense of unease in his stomach, Seiji unlocked his phone and stared at the creen. As the message loaded he felt his heart drop. Oh, god - so Aiden had been the one there? Oh no no no no no no no no no no - fuck, NO. ANYONE BUT AIDEN. Why was the universe being so cruel to him? Was it because of his attitude? Because he’d genuinely been improving and if THAT were the cause, then oh, he’d SHOW the universe some  _ real  _ attitude. 

 

How on Earth was he going to deal with this? Aiden had despised Seiji from the get-go, and aside from his ‘win’ against Seiji (if Aiden had to play mind games to win, he was an inferior fencer) they had barely interacted. Typically the haughty blonde would give him side-eyes and sneer at him without provocation or ignore him. Whatever his problem was, it didn’t seem to be based on anything other than Seiji’s mere  _ existence  _ on the team. 

The picture finally loaded and to his horror (and a strange excitement), Seiji saw himself and Nicholas embracing one another, looking very much like they were about to kiss.  _ So it did happen, _ Seiji thought. Brushing the gay panic aside - dear god did he really just call it that? Nicholas must have been rubbing off on him - he tried to think of a plan. It wouldn’t be a good idea to work with Nicholas to resolve the issue, no. If he did, then they might have to actually talk about things and Seiji was not ready for that yet. Nothing had even happened! - but, following that logic, then he should go to the brunette. Opening the door and stepping outside, Seiji was greeted with sunshine through the window at the end of their hall and began walking towards the light. 

  
  
  


Nicholas stirred in his bed, feeling a disturbance in the force. Okay, maybe not the force - he was no Luke Skywalker - but come to think of it, he  _ did  _ have a powerful sibling, and a weird-ass potentially-love triangle. Well, shit.  _ Keeping up with the Skywalkers _ apparently was Nick’s life. 

Well, that strange note aside - he needed to do some thinking today. Nick may not have been the best at reading people, but his instinct was hardly wrong in a situation and last night he’d been getting all sorts of red flags. Not dangerous ones, but...different ones. 

 

Reviewing the images in his head, Nick felt himself relive the moments when he was messing around like a dumbass - really letting loose and having fun with Seiji, and when he decided to surprise the other boy by dipping him. It had been almost impulsive - a very risky action, but one that was absolutely worth every bit of risk as Nick saw Seiji turn bright red and get flustered. It was uncommon to see Seiji Katayama acting surprised - especially rare to see him not well put together like normal. Nick smugly grinned to himself, thinking about how easy it had been for him to rile up Seiji. His rival would never admit it - but Nick now knew Seiji had been wondering about him since regionals, and considering an ‘almost’ hit was all it took - well, Nick felt pretty special. The more he thought about it, though, the less sense it made. 

 

Shouldn’t Seiji be more focused on kicking Aiden’s ass? After all, Aiden had actually beaten Seiji - and although neither Nick nor Seiji really counted the victory (talking wasn’t meant to be a part of fencing) it was a victory nonetheless. Aiden was also better at fencing than Nick was - at least currently. Or, as much as Nick hated to admit it - Seiji should be thrown off by Jesse. He probably was - but Nick’s brain kept wondering,  _ “Why am I so different?”  _

 

Even after breakfast and half an hour later, Seiji Katayama was experiencing what was now full-blown gay panic, mixed with more than a hint of indignant rage. Aiden had no business bothering him and Nicholas - they weren’t even doing anything wrong, but that stupid man-eater just haaaad to get involved because he was bored. Right? 

 

Seiji took a few deep breaths before reviewing the message he’d drafted to Aiden. “I’m outside your door. If we don’t talk about this, I’m telling Harvard and Coach Williams.” It was petty, maybe a tad immature - Seiji didn’t like having to threaten school interference - but Aiden was being an asshole right now and if it didn’t stop Seiji was going to snap. A few moments later he received a message back, saying, “Touchy. I’m on my way.” Anticipation building in his stomach, Seiji felt himself grow nervous but also more upset with Aiden as he waited for the upperclassman to show up.

 

When Aiden arrived a few minutes later, his hair a tousled, wavy mess - Seiji felt himself begin to glower. He was met with a knowing smirk, which did not help his mood in any way, shape or form. Seiji was about to speak when Aiden started unlocking the door and opening it, signaling to step inside. A flash of confusion went through Seiji’s mind - why on Earth was Aiden inviting him in? Wouldn’t he want to have this conversation - confrontation?- whatever this was outside where more people could overhear them and humiliate Seiji? 

 

Stepping inside the surprisingly neat room, Seiji peered around as the blonde sat down on what was presumably his bed - and gestured for Seiji to take the chair next to the desk on the opposite wall. Reluctantly, Seiji took it and faced Aiden, preparing for whatever verbal onslaught this was going to be. Then, before he could start - Aiden leaned forward and opened his mouth, breaking the silence. 

 

“So, how long?” That cruel smirk had returned, and Seiji’s fate was sealed. Dear God, he was going to have to come out because of this stupid jerk. Unless...maybe he could play strategically and get away with his (and Nicholas’s) dignity intact. Changing from panic to focus mode, Seiji locked eyes with the invasive playboy. 

 

Raising his right eyebrow and forcing himself to relax his tense posture, Seiji adopted his trademark look of disinterest and asked, “How long what, exactly?” He tapped his foot against the floor briefly, hoping the noise would pull the smug, green eyes away from his. It didn’t. Aiden pressed onward. 

 

“Come on, Mr. Second-best.” Aiden practically preened at the jab, predatory eyes blinking and glinting in the fluorescent lighting - making their usually pretty tone appear more sickly. “We both know you’re smarter than that - how long have you been into Zero?” Seiji tried to keep a neutral face, but his eyes widened slightly and Seiji was screwed. 

 

“I’m not ‘into’ Nicholas, Aiden. And if you would back off, it would be greatly appreciated.” His voice was lower than normal, a small detail he’d noticed from other times he’d been upset but had to stay more restrained. Glaring steadily into Aiden’s eyes, Seiji wondered how such a sweet guy like Harvard was able to be friends with this snake. 

 

“Sure, you were just staring  _ longingly  _ into his eyes because you’re the  _ closest  _ of roommates. Is that right?” The sarcasm dripping from Aiden’s voice was intolerable. Seiji felt himself start to flush, and tried to suppress it. 

 

“Even if I were - it’s none of your business. And why do you care? You were chewed out by Harvard for what, a grand total of five minutes? And now you’re stalking us - “ 

 

“Oh, so there’s an ‘us’ now?” Aiden teased, interjecting. 

 

Ignoring him, Seiji finished his point. “Because you’re upset? I don’t believe it - what’s your motive?” At this Aiden’s face fell, looking more serious. Seiji thought carefully for a moment. Perhaps if he riled Aiden up enough he could figure something out to balance the score, so neither would act against one another. _ A Cold War was better than a nuclear one. _

 

“I don’t have to have a motive now, do I? We both know I’ve never liked you,  _ Wonder Boy _ .” Huh. That was a different nickname - and it sounded familiar... _ Oh _ .  _ Got you. _ If Aiden hadn’t been shaken by the expression Seiji was giving now, he should’ve feared the waves of confidence now radiating off the younger of the two. 

 

“That’s what Harvard called me after practice last week.” And with that, the tables were turned. Seiji saw the slightest glimmer of terror in the other boy’s eyes and knew he was correct. Aiden’s arms began to cross in front of his body in a defensive position and Seiji went for the throat, feeling a strong sense of vindication. This was how he would get Aiden off his back, this would even the score. 

 

“You’re jealous. You want the attention Harvard is giving me because you miss getting all of it.” Aiden started to shake his head and try to come back into the conversation but Seiji was having none of it. It was Aiden’s turn to feel taken down a few pegs. 

 

“You somehow concluded that if you’re awful to me, you can get me to back away from Harvard and you’ll have his attention again? Wow. Well prepare to be disappointed because it’s his job to ensure I’m performing well, and not being bullied by cowards like you.” 

 

“Who are you calling a coward? It’s not like you’re any different with Nich-” 

 

Seiji was already standing up to leave, starting to walk towards the door. The sudden motion had thrown Aiden off, and just as he heard a knock on the door, Seiji turned to Aiden and spoke. 

 

“Whatever I am with Nicholas, it doesn’t concern you. And for what it’s worth...you’ve got far better chances with your friend than I would with mine. So stop.” 

 

His voice had trailed off a bit at the end, but as he swung the door open Seiji was greeted by none other than...Nicholas? 

 

“Huh? What’re you doing here?” Nicholas’s asked, eyes widened in surprise, but Seiji passed right by the other boy and muttered something unintelligible. It was at that precise moment Aiden did something Seiji didn’t expect, he actually  _ helped _ . Granted, it was still kind of underhanded but at least it didn’t leave Nicholas with the wrong impression. 

 

“Nothing important Nicholas - I just wanted to ask for notes on my form, even though I already beat Mr. Second best.” God, Seiji could practically hear the hair flip Aiden must have been doing. Oh, well. At least it was over with and he could leave. But wait - why was Nicholas there? 

 

“Hey, do you know where Harvard is? I’ve been meaning to ask him for help on something.” Nicholas’s voice echoed slightly in the hall as he spoke through the open doorway into the dorm. Walking away with a significant weight off his shoulders, Seiji made his way back to the dorm to get his books together and go out to the library to read. He needed to get his head out of all this dramatic madness so he could think. 

  
  
  
  


Nicholas was worried. Sure, Seiji always woke up before Nicholas but he was surprised to see that the boy who had rapidly become his best friend was seeming to avoid him. Did he do something wrong? Was the dip while they were dancing too much? Did he figure out who Nick’s dad was - okay, stop. Nicholas breathed deeply, he was probably looking too far into this. Seiji was a generally introverted person - and yesterday must have been a lot for him. They had danced twice within sixteen hours and considering how things went the second time around...Nicholas blushed and thought,  _ I really need to figure out what’s going on here. _

 

The longer he thought about it and remembered in detail the more convinced he was that there was some type of romantic tension between him and Seiji. He didn’t want to jump to the conclusion that it was requited - that would be conceited of him, after all. But these revelations were starting to get to him, and he felt his stomach twist with anxiety. In a moment of rare wisdom, Nick decided he needed to talk to someone - someone who would listen and had the integrity to keep a secret. Someone who was mature and didn’t have a stake in this. He initially figured Harvard would be his best bet - but considering Harvard wouldn’t want potential inner-team drama, he needed a backup. Who else would work? His smile grew as he walked down the hall, coming across his answer. Nicholas knocked and was greeted with a gentle giant, clad in sweatpants, a Kings Row T-shirt and a green, knitted hat. The hat looked handmade and had two little ear-covers on the sides with...paw print patterns stitched in? Definitely Bobby’s work.  

  
  
  


“Dante?” 

 

Dante nodded, and stepped back to let Nicholas in the room. He seemed confused, but was looking at Nicholas with what appeared to be an engaged expression. Nick figured it’d be like talking to a brick wall, but then again, Bobby said that was one of the best things about Dante. He was a great listener. 

 

“Hey, I know we never really talk or anything but...I’ve kinda got a problem.” Nick looked back at Dante who was staring at him. 

 

“I think I’m starting to like Seiji. Well, maybe not starting because that doesn’t sound quite right - but I’m definitely feeling something around him that I shouldn’t.” At this, Nick retreated a bit into himself, sitting on Bobby’s desk chair. 

 

Dante remained standing, and started moving around the dorm, tidying up after the smaller boy’s colorful belongings scattered all over the place. Nick smiled at the gesture, Dante really was a sweet guy and he had a lot of patience with Bobby. At one point he’d overheard Dante complaining about how much of a mess his lab partner was for chemistry - but as Nick watched the taller boy fold sweaters and place them on the corner of Bobby’s bed, he caught an affectionate, if faint, smile. 

 

“Why shouldn’t you?” Dante’s deep, rumbling voice surprised him. Nick took a second before responding. 

 

“We’re not on the same level, and I’m scared that maybe I’ll hurt his feelings if he ever finds out.” Nick choked out, feeling embarrassed. 

 

“What do you mean?” Dante responded, his tone lifting slightly in confusion. 

 

“I’m like, his only friend here - at least only close one, and I don’t think telling him that I like him would be good for him. What if he thought I was only trying to be his friend because I was attracted to him? That’s so manipulative - and what if I’m only feeling this way because we’ve spent so much time together?” Nick was breathing a little too quickly. 

 

Dante put a hand on the shorter boy’s shoulder and pressed down. “Breathe.” He instructed, in a monotone, almost bored voice. Nick carefully brought himself back down from his frenzied thoughts, and looked back at the sage friend he’d sought out. 

 

Dante finished up his input, saying, “Bobby’s told me how driven you are, and I know you’ll find a solution with the best outcome. Just do that and you’ll be fine.” With that, Nicholas felt the conversation come to a close, and breathed a sigh of relief as he left the room. Door closing softly with a click behind him, Nick felt his brain begin whirring again - but this time it wasn’t so much worried frenzy as it was focused. Yes, now he knew what he needed to do. 

  
  
  
  


On the other side of the door, Dante rolled his shoulders back in a show of exhaustion and moved to take his hat off. Hanging it on a hook above his bed, he sat down and removed his AirPods. Dear god, all this fencing drama sure was annoying. Dragging his fingers across his face in mild irritation, he returned to scrolling through his phone camera as he had been prior to Nicholas’s interruption. He’d never understood the hype behind fighting with “fancy sticks” as he called them, and doubted he ever would - but he would do his best to help Bobby and his friends, regardless of that ignorance. It was for the best, even if they were dumb enough not to realize he had just been lip reading and gauging the general tone from their expressions. It was a skill he had been proud to acquire over years of ignoring people - but he would always have the one exception he wouldn’t use it on. Smiling again, he exited the album he’d been in and entered a locked one - it was pictures of him and Bobby. It really was about the right time to update it, what with homecoming arriving so soon. Hopefully, this year would be even better than the last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha oh, Dante. I have totally been there and done that. 
> 
> As always, leave a kudos and/or comment if you enjoyed! Comments are my life fuel and help me work faster LOL. <3 Hope you enjoyed and that you have a lovely time, wherever you are.


	8. Uprooted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our two boys are officially pining idiots...Oh, wait - you knew that already? ;) Well, now they know, too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ClawsxOnxMyxHeartstrings helped me w/editing this chapter! We had a fantastic Discord chat the other night, and a misunderstanding may or may not have inspired a fun dialogue piece for the big dance ;) You'll know it when you read it. And no - it's not a Niji one, surprisingly!!!

  
  
  


Seiji walked with a purpose down the hall, shoulders back and head held high, his stride confident and conveying he was in charge. Internally however, he was screaming and cracking under the pressure of his own mind. He had just resolved the issue with Aiden, minus Aiden still being a rude ass - but nothing would ever fix that, short of Harvard proposing - and he was still strung up on stress hormones. He needed some kind of remedy, some type of way to get out of his head. Feeling that impressive exterior crumbling, Seiji opened the door to his (and Nicholas’s) dorm and went directly to his bed, faceplanting. It was a rather undignified position.

 

Wow. When had his life devolved to this? Here he was, ‘internet planking’ and moping over a boy. A boy he had to live with, at _least_ for the rest of the year. He caught himself grimacing as he recalled the events from orientation, where a lady with an obnoxiously large red hat informed the class year that only after a year of staying could they request a roommate. Having to ask Nicholas if he wanted to be roommates next year? The thought was impossible. 

 

They still had that stupid curtain up (even though it was better for Seiji’s heart now, god knew he couldn’t handle seeing a shirtless Nicholas in the privacy of their own room), and didn’t really talk much outside of the clubouse. What on Earth was he going to do? He pushed himself up on his forearms, and held his head in his hands. When the change didn’t help stop his racing thoughts, he rolled over onto his back and stared blankly at the ceiling. 

 

 _God, this is stupid,_ thought Seiji, running a hand down his face in distress. Pining like this shouldn’t be so in-character for him. He was second in the nation in fencing, for crying out loud - he was practically a superjock. He should be swarming with admirers - “ _ah, but”_ the voice of reason supplied, “ _you’re gay, it’s different.”_ He groaned audibly this time, grabbing his pillow and smashing it against his face, as if he could beat the feelings out of him. Being a tad more realistic, Seiji did know he had a lot of admirers, and yes, some of them were boys - but they were boys like Bobby who didn’t really take the time to know him. They just saw his stats and matches, and formed some type of infatuation - something akin to a celebrity crush, not genuine, deep feelings. _Like what I’m having for Nicholas,_ his unhelpful mind supplied. 

 

Sliding the pillow off his face, Seiji kept running through what had happened. He and Nicholas had grown closer, hadn’t they? Did it really only taken a few heart-to-hearts and dance lessons for him to fall for this boy? They had hated each other - or, at least Seiji thought he did. 

 

In this period of reflection, Seiji admitted to himself that Nicholas had been on his mind before they had been assigned roommates. Something about that first match with him had struck Seiji, despite Nicholas being unable to land a hit on him. Was it the fact that he almost did? Perhaps, Seiji thought. But he acknowledged Nicholas had better speed than him, and it was likely some type of fluke - he really should have ignored it. And on top of that, given their exchange being so _painfully_ typical for Seiji’s matches with incomparable fencers, there was no good reason for Seiji to remember Nicholas at all. 

  


Yet, he had. 

  


H'ed even lied - to Harvard, and to Nicholas himself. Why had he been so afraid to admit he’d remembered him? Maybe it was the dedication he’d seen in his eyes. What Nicholas said felt more like a promise than a threat, and he didn’t give the impression he was the type to break those. Rolling onto his side and running his fingers across the blankets, Seiji pondered further. 

 

Being such a high-level fencer honestly got boring after a while, especially when there was only one person ranked above him. Since he had arrived at Kings Row, the only decent fencing he had for ages was against Dmytro - and fencing against his trainer wasn’t the same as going against someone his age. There was something more engaging, more thrilling than the level of focus he had against someone with a more sophisticated, more developed style. Could Nicholas’s poor technique be what fascinated him? 

 

Sitting up in bed, Seiji felt his nose wrinkle up, disgusted at the thought. Fencing was art, there was no way he enjoyed going up against someone who was objectively so...sloppy at it. But he did. Sighing as he realized this was going to take him a while, Seiji almost regretted having finished his homework. It would have been an ample distraction to the confusion flooding his mind. 

  
  


After finishing his talk with Dante, Nick went to a small section of land outside the library. It was a poorly cared for garden, maintained by freshman biology honors students. There were little soybean plants in Solo shot cups, and the hypocrisy was so blatant Nick _ached_ laughing. At Kings Row, kids got detention for having playing cards - even _Uno_ \- because they resembled “gambling” paraphernalia, so the fact that (admittedly cheap) shot glasses were okay for school projects was too much. 

  


Enjoying the solitude, Nick sat down on a crumbling wall of bricks. It looked like it used to be some sort of divide between the former end of campus and the newer one. Kings Row had expanded in the 90s, and after having been open since the 70s it surprised Nick that the entire wall wasn’t knocked down. Maybe someone enjoyed the aesthetic of it, it _was_ pretty - covered in clinging moss and small purple flowers. He smiled softly. His mother had always loved purple flowers, and when he was smaller he had a habit of yanking the wildflowers he found up from neighbors’ yards and presenting them to her. Luckily for him, his neighbors were touched by his gesture to his mother - but his mom hadn’t been as impressed. He chuckled, remembering how she had chewed him out once about it, saying it wasn’t considerate to steal people’s things. 

 

Running his hands over the fuzzy plants, Nick wondered what he was going to do. He was at a point where he didn’t really need to practice dancing with Seiji anymore - and he felt nervous, anticipating that change in their relationship. Instinctually, Nick knew they had reached some points of no return - they knew things about one another’s lives no one else did, but Nick had grown up with several ‘friends’ like that who faded out of his life after admitting to their problems. It wouldn’t surprise him if Seiji would back away from him after this, and acknowledging that possibility scared him. 

 

Nick’s hand clenched in the moss, unintentionally ripping some of it out. He instantly regretted ruining it, and tried to smooth it back over, putting it back in place. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too noticeable. He wouldn’t get in trouble for the tiny destruction, but he would feel kinda lame for damaging the sight. 

 

Standing up, he brushed his hands over his pants - thank god he wasn’t wearing his uniform, it would be stained - and wandered around some more. He eventually saw a family visiting their son, and... _was that a cat on a leash?_ Nick started laughing quietly. He was far enough away that they wouldn’t notice him staring, but it would still look kinda rude if anyone else overheard him. A few hundred feet later, he was close to the visiting family. He steadily approached the cat, after asking to pet it - when it suddenly gave him the most snobbish look he’d ever seen on an animal. 

 

“Is she always like this?” Nick asked, jokingly. 

 

The mother figure, a friendly woman with deep smile lines and silver streaks in her hair, answered him quickly with pursed lips. It was a strange look of affection, he decided as she spoke. 

 

“Oh, he’s always grumpy to strangers. He takes a bit of time to warm up to you, but if you just stay in a room with him for a few days he’ll be much friendlier.” Now _that_ sounded familiar, Nick snorted. 

 

“What’s his name?” He continued, failing to see a name tag under the complicated harness straps. The cat was still giving Nicholas an unamused expression, but it had stepped a little closer, harness straightening behind him. 

 

“He’s Orville, and before you ask - yes, he’s been on a leash his entire life. He’s such a grumpy little boy, but we knew he needed affection and sunshine from the day we adopted him. He may have a pouty look right now, but he’ll have more pep in his step once we get moving.” Nick took that small note as a sign the family was hinting they needed to leave. Happily saying thank you and goodbye, Nick felt the softest brush against his leg. 

 

“I told you he’d warm up.” The mom had called over her shoulder, and was now making clicking noises to signal to Orville to get a move on. 

 

As the family and their cat walked away, Nick felt an incredibly strong sense of deja vu strike him. It was a nice feeling. 

  
  


Aiden was musing quietly in his room. Seiji had surprised him this morning by actually confronting him. As he worked at his desk, Aiden gripped his pen a bit too tightly and screwed up his flawless penmanship. _Ugh, fine._ So his brain wanted to go into gossiping theory mode. Guess he’d have to oblige. Leaning back in his chair, Aiden brushed his hair over his shoulders and looked at the ceiling in wonder, recalling the incriminating photo he’d taken and sent. He hadn’t really been serious when he’d been teasing Seiji earlier, it was just so much fun to get under Wonder Boy’s skin. Ever since he’d arrived, Seiji had been a threat to Aiden. Not only had he brought Harvard down from his top-ranked-team-member status, he (as much as Aiden hated to admit it) was beautiful - to the extent he could compete with Aiden if he wanted to. And that was unacceptable. Harvard already protected him enough (admittedly from Aiden and other rude boys) and admired his work ethic, something Aiden clearly lacked. Pouting, Aiden felt his spirit drop with envy as he compared himself to the prodigy. 

 

As his thoughts meandered their way back to that photo, Aiden’s curiosity began to bloom again. Regardless of whatever Seiji wanted to say, he and Nicholas had definitely had some type of a moment. Aiden was an expert on the subject - sometimes ‘moments’ happened between people who really weren’t all that attracted to one another, and he knew enough of them happened with friends that it hurt to remember. _How many times he’d met Harvard’s dark, friendly eyes and his dazzling smile..._ **_Focus_ ** _!_ But...were Nicholas and Seiji really either of those? Sure, they must have gotten friendlier as they were fucking _dancing_ together, but they hardly acted any different in practice. They just seemed to be following Coach’s orders to be civil, and with the prior suicides they had to run it didn’t surprise Aiden that they had followed through on avoiding that threat. 

 

Pursing his lips together in frustration, Aiden ran a hand through his soft locks and groaned in exasperation. Why were the team idiots so difficult for him to read? Maybe he was overthinking things. Taking his mind back to the two as individuals, Aiden restarted his assessment. What were their differences? Well, Nicholas was far friendlier than Seiji, and Seiji was much more reserved - but considering how much they riled one another up it was clear they had something in common. That something being a fiery temper. _They sure were some angery bois,_ Aiden thought. But what if angry wasn’t the right term? Maybe ‘driven’ was a better fit. Yes, that made a lot more sense. In all his years doing fencing, Aiden hadn’t met two people more focused on succeeding in it than Harvard - so the fact that they were this competitive and LIVING together made their dynamic all the more interesting. What else did they share? 

  
  


Seiji had just about decided to admit he was moronsexual when his phone buzzed. Taking it out of his pocket, he read “From: _Harvard (Captain) -_ Team meeting, clubhouse - now.” Seiji typed out a quick response - yes, he was that bitch who would type “k” - and began walking to the door. Turning the knob quietly, memories of sneaking out with Nicholas flashed through his mind. Thoughts of flickering lights and warm hands and being way too close... _Ugh_ , he could feel an involuntary smile growing. This was going to be an interesting meeting. 

  
  


Well, Seiji’s intuition had been right. This meeting _was_ interesting, and that was entirely Harvard’s fault. The team captain had a mischievous smirk on his face and if that wasn’t enough to scare a man, Seiji didn’t know what was. Harvard cleared his throat before speaking, standing up from the lone chair in the room to address the team who had taken over the couch and floor. Seiji was one of three standing - the others being Aiden and Nicholas. Trying not to look at the brunette, Seiji focused in on what Harvard was saying. 

 

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the skill of Bobby who has volunteered to help us with representing Kings Row. At the start of this year you agreed to never post anything on your social media about the team, and that you would remove yourself from any tags by family members who had you in photos. You signed the unofficial contract I provided, and I recall several of you asking why. Today you learn the answer.” 

 

Seiji’s eyebrows raised, he knew Harvard was a strategist and in all seriousness was far more manipulative than Aiden, but whatever was about to come out of the captain’s mouth was going to be impressive. His instinct called it, and while Seiji liked to deny his instincts and try to ignore them - this was an instance where he needed to listen. 

 

“We may not be expected to spend time with our competitors, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t. No, I’m not talking about regular sportsmanship - I’m talking about learning their weaknesses. Ever since Jesse Coste joined Exton, one of the ways they have been so ruthless in their victories has been through the team collectively cyber-stalking competitors.” At this, Seiji’s prediction was fulfilled. Harvard may appear to be a gentle, sweet guy - but he was incredibly ruthless and cunning. Feeling a strong sense of gratitude from being on Harvard’s good side, Seiji was inclined to speak up - but he was beaten to the punch. 

 

“Wait,” Kally started. “Can those of us who aren’t on the team try and help? And what about the older members they already know - Exton knows you’re captain, Harvard and they’ve gone up against the rest of us, spare for Nick and Eugene.” 

With this, Harvard flashed a pearly grin at the question. The glint in his eyes was undeniable, and he continued, saying “That’s what we want to protect. We need our team babies - Nick, don’t give me that look - to be as mysterious as possible.” Seiji turned his head to see Nicholas trying to conceal a pout. It was rather endearing. Seiji’s eye twitched at the involuntary thought, and directed his gaze back to Harvard. 

  


“So if what I ask tonight is too much, I understand - but remember, we’re trying to beat Exton - so play them as hard and as well as you can.” Wait, was Harvard actually suggesting - 

 

“Are you asking us to _hit on them?_ ” Nicholas’s incredulous voice cracked, and startled Seiji. 

 

Judging by the look on Harvard’s face, he was - and this whole situation was about to get a _lot_ worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for waiting - this chapter has been a mad labor of love, I've got a new class starting as I finish my econ one up this Saturday and BRUH - both courses are accelerated so I'mma die if I don't get rest. Your patience (yes, specifically you) has been a blessing to me and I appreciate the understanding. I hope you enjoyed this.


	9. The World, or Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick finally starts talking to Seiji about how to hit on people, and coincidentally both of them get hit by someone. Oops. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'know that vine of the little girl who spilled apple juice on the floor? And her sister is flipping out, so she just dumps the rest of the bottle out, hearing "Bruh?" being shouted at her? Yeah, that's exactly how I feel with how long it took to update this chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> As some of you have noticed already - I've extended this fic. Part of the reason I have is because this chapter took so long. As I explained in my earlier notes for the last chapter, I had a giant exam and it threw me off even harder than expected. I kicked major ass on it, passed the class and was incredibly braindead to the point where I rewrote all of Seiji's dialogue this chapter, and added details/scenes I wasn't expecting to. Overall? I'm still proud of myself for having completed it - but I definitely know I need to give the story a little more room to grow before it reaches the conclusion I have planned. ;) Hope you look forward to the 'extra' (put in quotes bc it's necessary) content! 
> 
>  
> 
> So while the chapter may not be as long as I had intended, it has more content that I hope you'll enjoy - you might wanna scream at me, though. ;) Have fun!

Seiji was more on edge than usual, lately. Ever since the talk yesterday with Harvard about how the team would be trying to learn any and all secrets from Exton’s fencers, Seiji had felt the pit of his stomach twisting with anxiety. Harvard had even assigned Eugene and Nicholas to people to try and ‘infiltrate’ their team through - Nicholas had initially been assigned Jesse but at the boy’s violent gagging Harvard quickly retracted that request, and Eugene volunteered a little too eagerly for the job. _Hm, what was that about?_  

 

Whatever, it didn’t concern Seiji. He wished school had been harder this week, but it appeared that Kings Row eased up on assignments before big events to help raise students’ morale. Maybe if it had been full of tests, Seiji wouldn’t remember how Nicholas had been assigned to some other boy on the Exton team - someone ranked below Seiji, obviously. And how that meant he and Nicholas were going to spend the entire night apart, if Nicholas chose to follow instructions. Which he probably would. That sucked. At this point Seiji could admit to himself that he did like Nicholas, but it wasn’t something he was ever going to act upon. God, this was frustrating. 

 

He had only been back in the room for ten minutes when Nicholas’s voice floated through the small dorm, interrupting his thoughts. 

 

“So, uh...I actually gotta help you now.” Yikes, this was going to be so awkward it hurt. 

 

“With what, Nicholas?” _Play dumb,_ Seiji kept telling himself. Maybe if Nicholas was too shy about this, he could just avoid it altogether, go to the stupid dance and lie saying he’d tried - and get to return to the safe walls of Castello, where no blonde dickbag fencers would be present. Sitting up on the bed he’d been resting on, his hands went to his knees, clutching the fabric as he hoped Nicholas would drop the subject. 

 

“Seiji I know you know what I mean.” Nicholas didn’t sound irritated, but he was definitely on the verge. Oops. Maybe playing dumb had been a bad call. Seiji decided to voice his concerns, desperate for a way out. 

 

“Everyone on the Exton team knows who I am, and I’m not exactly keen to give them the wrong impression.” Seiji’s nose scrunched up, disgusted at the thought of needing to spend time with those stupid prissy boys. Wait, wasn’t Seiji one of those prissy boys? Well, maybe formerly - but he’d definitely gotten the stick out of his ass since coming to Kings Row. Seiji was sure he was still far more uptight than most boys his age, but he was more comfortable than he had been with himself in a while. Except of course, for the conversation right now. 

 

“That’s not why I want to help you.” Nicholas responded, his typically boisterous voice dropping to a softer tone and quieter volume. Was he concerned? Seiji peeked around the ducky curtain - that thing was hideous - and was greeted with a faceful of Nicholas who apparently had the same idea. 

 

Feeling his face flame up, Seiji jolted back, retreating from the sudden closeness. Nicholas remained standing by the curtain, looking at Seiji who was now trying to appear bored and unbothered, desperately avoiding eye contact. Nicholas must have taken Seiji’s silence as permission to continue as he began again. 

 

Fingers clutching the end of the curtain, folds in the fabric crushing several innocent duckies in the print, Nicholas spoke. 

 

“I wanted to help you with this so maybe you could try and talk to someone at homecoming...So you could actually try and have some fun.” Seiji’s eyes betrayed him, and they glanced up to see Nicholas looking down at the floor, a peculiar expression on his face. It seemed almost...sentimental? 

 

“You’ve helped me a ton, and I figured I owed it to you to finish up my end of the bargain before homecoming. You know, because we won’t be sneaking off anymore.” 

 

Seiji had been expecting this conversation for weeks now, and although he knew it was going to happen, he wasn’t surprised that it didn’t lessen the pain he felt in his chest. In his eyes, Nicholas had all but confirmed their transactional relationship was going to end this Saturday night. 

 

Relaxing his features, Seiji adopted a look of nonchalance and decided to agree with Nicholas’s plan, moving to sit on his bed. After all, he knew deep down that no matter how awkward this interaction was going to be, it would be something he’d forever regret if he didn’t try to experience it. After all, time with Nicholas was rapidly becoming endangered and Seiji wanted to cherish what little he had left. 

 

If Nicholas saw how Seiji’s face had fallen briefly, he didn’t say anything. Nicholas had moved across the room, and was looking at Seiji expectantly. What did he want? 

 

“Can I sit down? Or is your bed off limits?”

 

“Oh, sure.” Seiji patted part of the bed to his left, and Nicholas carefully sat down. _Too carefully,_ Seiji noticed. Nicholas was more the type to pounce on a bed, whether it was his or not. It was one of the ~~endearing~~ frustrating things about him. His excitement for life was...refreshing, and to see it become so muted was a red flag. Feeling a wave of concern wash over his panic, Seiji cleared his throat and turned to face his...friend? 

 

“Nicholas, you don’t have to do this.” At this, Nicholas startled and Seiji felt the bed shift slightly with the jolt. 

 

“I’m fine - don’t worry. I’m a professional!” Nicholas joked, shooting finger guns in Seiji’s direction and winking. _Goddamnit, that shouldn’t be so cute_. Biting back the flustered feeling he was getting, Seiji drew upon what he did best (aside from fencing, of course): scathing remarks. 

 

“That’s not something to brag about.” 

 

“Hey! That’s mean!” Nicholas was laughing now, and gently shoved Seiji to the side, who shoved him right back, the harder push toppling Nicholas . 

 

“It was either I call you a liar or a prostitute.” 

 

“You’re so rude!” Nick exclaimed, clutching his sides and wincing from laughing so hard. To his surprise, Seiji felt himself begin to smile. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. He cautiously slid to the side a little more, not by much but enough to keep himself steady.

 

“Why’d you move away?” Nicholas asked, and Seiji stopped dead in his tracks. 

 

Seiji was shocked. He thought Nicholas wouldn’t have picked up on the slight shift away - he’d been trying to make some distance in case...In case another moment like _that one_ happened. When he thought about it he figured he was just being overly defensive, that nothing would happen - inside the clubhouse or not - but something in his instinct was telling him to run. He didn’t want to be mistakenly drawn in, he didn’t want to be that moth that got burned by the flame it was pulled to. To him, it was clear now that whatever he felt towards Nicholas was something deep in his nature, and if he wanted to keep things going well he needed to suppress it as damn well as he could. That familiar nervousness was bubbling up in his stomach again, and it was not a good sign. 

 

Responding after what felt like an eternity, Seiji stated, “I was trying to avoid your flailing limbs.” _There. That should do it._

 

Trying to smirk a little and play it off, Seiji was relieved to see that his quick-thinking had worked. Nicholas was smiling again, and Seiji felt his face soften. 

 

“Fair enough, I did almost fall off a minute ago.” Nicholas was still beaming, the humor trailing off a bit but the smile still shone into the creases of his eyes. Shit. Was Seiji staring? Trying to make eye contact was normal between people, right? Between...friends? Seiji must have looked stupid or something, because as soon as those warm, brown eyes opened Nicholas went into another fit of laughter. 

 

“What?” Seiji snapped, internal frustration making its way to the surface. 

 

“You were looking at me funny, like I was the world or something.” At this, Seiji’s face flushed and he looked away with a ‘hmph’. 

 

“You wish. Now, will you help me or not?” Seiji’s sanity was beginning to crack, and _oops_ . That sounded a little too desperate. _Rest In Pieces, Seiji_. 

 

Seiji knew his face must have been bright red, and he hoped Nicholas would take the common man’s assumption and back off - but knowing Nicholas that wasn’t likely to happen. 

 

“Alright, alright - we did have an agreement. And if I didn’t follow through, then this would be - ”

Oh my god was Nicholas really going to? There was no way - he wasn’t that kind of joker, was he? He wouldn’t go there, right? Images of 2016 flashed through Seiji’s mind, jokes that had been dead for years resurfaced and he couldn’t believe it - there was no way he would -- 

 

“‘The worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever.’” Nicholas finished, with an entirely too satisfied look on his face. 

 

Seiji was dumbfounded. Nicholas _was_ hilarious - something that had taken him months to admit - but this was completely unexpected. 

 

“Did you really just do that?” Seiji started, trying to contain whatever emotion he felt trying to claw its way out of him. 

 

“Do what?” Nicholas replied, holding his hand up like a finger gun to support his chin. 

 

“Quote the president in reference to _this_.” At the snort that came out of Nicholas, Seiji couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned further to his right, extending his arms to grab his pillow, which he promptly buried his face in. He needed to calm down. That joke was so juvenile and dated, but the fact that Nicholas said it made him enjoy it and only increased that pull Seiji felt towards the other boy. 

 

“Aw, I thought you were gonna hit me with it.” Nicholas joked, sounding grateful for the lack of violence. 

 

“Don’t tempt me.” Seiji muttered, voice muffled by the pillow. 

 

“So, uh...I guess I’ll just start because you can still hear me?” Nicholas’s voice rang clear throughout the room, and Seiji nodded, lifting his head. This boy was going to be the death of him, and judging by the beating of his heart that doom was approaching faster than expected. Oh, well. 

 

“So, how do you _think_ you’d want to approach someone?” 

 

“Why are you asking me questions?” 

 

“We never actually got back to that, y’know...Last time I asked.” 

 

“I’m well aware.” Seiji was looking away now, out the window. Unfortunately for him there wasn’t anything particularly interesting to see from it, just some branches of a tree that’s grown far too close. _Kings Row should really do something about that._  

 

He felt a hand on his own, bringing him back to the room and the situation he was so desperately trying to avoid. Still looking outside, he twitched slightly and steeled himself. He could do this, he had to get through it - but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t suck. 

 

“So, uh...You said your crushes are trash?” Nicholas asked, and Seiji could hear the awkward smile he must have. Feeling a little less alone, he answered curtly. 

 

“Yes. I like idiots.” 

 

Nicholas’s hand still hadn’t left his, they were both resting on the pillow Seiji was holding. It was soothing in a way, but Seiji didn’t dare try and hold it. Bad idea. 

  


A few moments of silence passed, not overly uncomfortable but not quite inviting, either. Nick decided to press onwards. 

  


“Do you think you could change that?” Nick ventured, trying to see if the idea appealed to Seiji. The other boy had retreated into his shell, and wasn’t looking so good. Maybe if he tried to help him laugh about it this would be easier. 

 

“ _Believe me,_ I’ve tried.” Seiji’s voice was tired now with a twinge of embarrassment. 

 

“Well, why do you think you like them, then? There’s gotta be _something_ interesting in them if you feel that way.” 

 

Nick heard Seiji mutter something, but he couldn’t quite put it together. His brows pulled together, eyes squinting as he tried to figure it out. “Did you say something about an _orange_?” 

 

“I said _I like a challenge_.” 

 

“Oh, well that actually makes a lot of sense.” Nick blew his bangs out of his face. He’d sent Bobby a text about fixing that before homecoming. No answer yet, but knowing Bobby he’d be overwhelmed with _something_ \- be it emojis, stickers or the like. 

 

“And how exactly is that?” Seiji sounded very bitter right now. 

 

“How often are you impressed by someone?”

 

“Not frequently.” 

 

“And that’s why it makes sense. People don’t leave impressions on you that often, so when they do you sometimes get attached. But I gotta ask,” Nick was grinning again - “Are they really dumb or do you just call them that because you’re frustrated with _yourself?_ ” 

 

“Both.” Seiji still wasn’t looking at Nicholas, but his free hand ran through his dark hair - a small detail Nick had noticed him doing when stressed - and his ears were red. Cute. 

 

 _Whoa, whoa whoa - now is_ not _the time for that thinking_ , Nick tried to corral his brain back. Unhelpfully, it continued saying, _It kinda is though…_

 

“Well, if you like someone...Try not to beat yourself up over it, as long as they’re a good person and they’re good for you then it’s not a big deal.” 

 

“Good for you?” Seiji asked, leaving Nicholas surprised. He’d gotten him to engage more, that was a good sign. 

 

“Like, they listen to you and understand. And if they don’t understand then they communicate that but still try their best to - to listen and help you feel less alone.” Nicholas sighed, thinking of the advice his mother had given him inadvertently when she’d complained to him about Robert Coste being the worst man ever. 

 

He felt a twinge at that, remembering how she had been played and how it impacted the two of them - his mom having to raise him alone and Nick feeling even worse when he realized he was queer. It was strange to learn that your mother’s advice about men actually applied to you, when you expected to be straight like her. He later learned she predicted that detail about him pretty early on, judging from the way four-year-old Nick stared adoringly at Disney princes when they had swordfights. God, he was such a dork. 

 

Seiji had turned back to Nick and was looking at him with a peculiar expression. He seemed calm, but there was something in his eyes that signalled to Nick that this was just the eye of a storm - there were thoughts and feelings swirling around inside him. Reacting instinctively, Nick squeezed the hand underneath his, startling Seiji who seemed to have forgotten that was there. When Nick smiled (a little too wistfully, he’d later learn) at the spooked boy, he saw a flicker of sadness behind those dark eyes. 

 

“Seiji? Is something wrong?” 

 

They were closer than last time, Nick having moved until his leg was pressed up to Seiji’s, sharing warmth. Seiji’s hand flinched under Nick’s steady (but gentle) grip. Should he let go? When he started to move his hand away, to his - and what looked to be Seiji’s surprise -- Seiji’s other hand stopped him, trapping it there. 

 

The silence now felt like white noise, and Nick felt a tingling sensation creep up from his hand, spreading to his head and chest. He was running into dangerous waters, engaging with the riptide. It was a thrilling feeling, he shouldn’t enjoy it - but then again, Nick had never been known for his common sense. 

 

In the back of his mind, Nick heard something outside - like knocking, or somebody maybe tripped. But he was too enraptured by the soft look Seiji had. He hadn’t seen Seiji look this open and vulnerable since their last talk - and it hadn’t been a hopeful experience at the time. This was different, Seiji looked intrigued and cautious - and there was a glimmer of _hope_ in his eyes. 

 

Completely on autopilot, Nick didn’t realize they were leaning in closer until he could feel the heat radiating from Seiji. His right hand seemed to move on its own, supporting his weight behind Seiji’s left side. His heart was pounding, and he felt torn between tensed and relaxed. It was yet another contradiction brought upon by Seiji. 

 

A faint clicking sound barely registered as the two leaned closer, eyelids slipping lower as if in a trance. Nick couldn’t tell if he was still breathing, he was so caught up and as he noticed the distance growing smaller and smaller, the doorknob turned.

 

Bobby burst into the room, somehow not noticing how close Seiji and Nicholas were in his excitement and slammed into Nicholas with inhuman force. Seiji only had a moment to brace himself, closing his eyes and trying to raise his arms when he suddenly felt a pair of lips against his own. Everything turned to static, and half a moment later when the two parted, Seiji felt incredibly calm. It was a terrible kiss, by anyone’s standards - but in that brief moment of contact he felt something he’d never been able to before: peace. He absolutely had enjoyed it, and felt...soft somehow. He _should_ be more anxious about this but something in him was still caught up in the moment. Quietly dazed, he missed the faint trickle from his nose.

 

Nick, however was losing it. 

 

“Bobby, what the heck? You don’t just TACKLE people!” Nick’s mind was running a million miles per hour, although it was kind of hard to focus with what had just happened. Bobby had just pushed him into Seiji and they had kinda...kissed? Should he call Bobby out on that? _No, if Bobby doesn’t know then it’s for the best - Seiji would probably feel embarrassed._ Trying to ignore the intense flush blooming on his face, Nick looked at the apologetic small boy beside him and softened. 

 

He’d missed a good deal of the apology, but from the looks of it if Nick didn’t forgive Bobby pretty quickly he was going to be sandwiched between two upset people. Speaking of, why was Seiji so quiet? That could never be good - could he be panicking or trying not to lose it? Looking back at the raven-haired boy, he jolted and exclaimed, “Oh my god you’re bleeding!” 

 

Seiji blinked, once, twice, and raised his now wet hands to his face. He tasted copper and realized he’d been having a nosebleed, quickly pinching the bridge of his nose and hoping none of the blood got onto his white shirt. _Ugh, that would be a bitch and a half to clean_. He stood up to go fetch some paper towels from under the sink, but Nicholas had already beaten him to it. A few torn, crumpled papers were thrust into his hands rather quickly as the brunette began fussing over him. 

 

“Nicholas, I’m fine. Stop panicking.” Seiji said, his voice sounding funny due to the pinched nose. If this were another situation he might have laughed, but now Bobby was staring worriedly at him too, and this was entirely too dramatic for his liking. He stood up, brushing past Nicholas who was now exiting the room to try and find actual tissues - the school issue ones were sandpapery and couldn’t possibly help. Seiji held his breath, checking the towels to see if the flow had slowed. It had, but not quite enough. He groaned, and immediately regretted the sound when he heard Bobby sniffling. 

 

“Seiji, I’m SO sorry!” Bobby was crying now, and oh god, Seiji was _not_ in the mood for this. Rinsing his hands in the sink (one at a time, he still had to hold the towels in place) he awkwardly made his way back to the blubbering boy and placed a hand on his shoulder gently. 

 

Still holding the towel to his nose with his other hand, Seiji looked at the “Bobby, if this is the worst thing you’ve ever done to me then I can hardly hate you.” Large, almost cartoonish brown eyes looked up at him, still glistening with unshed tears as Bobby’s breathing started to slow back down. 

 

“How can you not? I just made Nick _headbutt_ you and you even got a nosebleed! I thought you’d be upset with me…” Bobby had brought his knees to his chest, occasionally placing his chin on them, trying to relax. Seiji noticed Bobby had mismatched socks on - pink with white and yellow alternating stripes on one, green with pink polka dots on the other. _Fitting_. Trying to put himself in Bobby’s (incredibly small) shoes, Seiji tried to think about what would happen if he accidentally hurt someone he really cared about.

 

Unfortunately, his brain decided to take him to an image he hadn’t considered in a while - his father looking at him with a distraught expression. They were both older, standing in a different house - well, the doorway of one, and there was a card in his father’s hand. The older man held it tightly, bending the thick paper, paper with two names on it and an invitation Seiji had dreaded sending. He never knew who the second name was, and when faint images of blurred brown hair and a stupidly bright smile flickered into his head, Seiji blinked, hard - feeling wetness build in the corners of his eyes, and he returned back to where he was supposed to be. Only a few seconds had passed, but judging by the look on Bobby’s face he must have done something wrong. 

 

“Seiji are you really sure you’re okay?” Bobby asked, gazing intently at Seiji who was trying to keep it together. Well, if he had learned anything from being around Nicholas, now was a good time to put it to use. Swallowing his pride, he answered carefully. 

 

“No, I’m not okay. Not because of you - I have to handle something... _important_ is all.” 

 

Could he really do this? Could he really take Nicholas’s advice and actually try to ‘have fun’? It was painful how the one person he actually wanted to use the newfound knowledge on was encouraging him to use it elsewhere. Sighing, he looked back at Bobby before offering the guilty boy a hug. 

 

Bobby tackled him, the force surprising Seiji considering how miserable and stilled he had been before. 

 

“I’m sorry you’re not feeling good, it’s gonna be okay! You’ve always got me and Nick!” 

 

 _Always, huh?_ Seiji returned the awkward hug, feeling the dark cloud return in full-force. _Yeah, right._ If he didn’t keep restraining himself like he was, he was bound to ruin his friendship with Nicholas. Speaking of, he needed to figure out how to deal with that whole accidental-kiss thing. Internally groaning, he rolled his eyes up to the heavens and wondered how on Earth he’d handle that conversation. Fake flirting with Nicholas had been bad enough - now that he’d had (an admittedly awkward and brief) taste of that forbidden fruit, it was going to be that much harder to act like he didn’t crave it. 

  


Meanwhile, Nicholas was busy looking for tissues he knew they probably wouldn’t need because he needed to get out of the room. Did that _really_ just happen? He still felt the press of Seiji’s lips on his own, and subconsciously reached his hand up to his mouth. Walking down the hallway, he was stuck in autopilot and realized he now needed to find tissues or at least be seen trying to back up his excuse. He knocked on Aiden and Harvard’s door, and was met with green eyes and messy blonde hair. Aiden looked smug, as per the norm - and his shirt was slightly crumpled. Probably had some “guest” over earlier, Nick concluded. Before he could ask for help, Aiden beat him to the punch. 

 

“Boy problems?” 

 

“Wait - wHAT?” Nicholas was bright red and confused, to make matters worse his voice had definitely cracked. _What the hell did Aiden know?_ HOW did Aiden know? Was he just joking? 

 

Predatory eyes widened, and Aiden’s trademark smirk grew. “Wow, I was kidding but okay. What do you need?” 

 

“T-tissues, Seiji got hit by Bobby -- ” 

 

“Ooh, boy - I wonder what he did to deserve that - ”

 

“ _Nothing_ , it was an accident.” Nicholas bristled at the blonde’s implication that Seiji had somehow provoked the hit, but steadied himself as he remembered his objective. Breathing deeply, he tried to be polite as possible while signalling the urgency of the situation. 

 

“So do you have any or not?” 

 

“Sure,” Aiden responded, closing the door briefly before returning and shoving a box of Kleenex at Nick. 

 

“Hope it goes well,” and the jerk had the audacity to _wink_ at Nick. 

 

Mission now accomplished, Nick began the slow walk down the hall to reenter the room and confront everything that had just happened. Rolling his eyes, Nick came to the conclusion he knew the instant he and Seiji were bumped into: 

  
Yeah, this was gonna go _great_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Takes deep breath*
> 
>  
> 
> BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> *exhales*
> 
>  
> 
> okay there you go


	10. Stranger Than Your Sympathy (And This is My Apology)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Aiden and Seiji have SadBoi Hours (TM), Nick is an overthinking dumbass, and the ducky curtain looks on in disapproval.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This note is brought to you by my sister, appreciate its wonderful words - written at 11:55 at night. Pretend I wrote it. 
> 
> "Shoutout to my bitch of a sister for editing this chapter after I forced her to read the entire fic in one evening even though she doesn’t even read Fence. I love you, Bitch. I ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, BITCH." 
> 
> Aside from her wonderful language use, I wanted to use this space to give a thank you to all the people who keep clicking on this fic! It's been a while since I last updated - too damn long, but boy life has really hit me like a goddamn freight train. 
> 
> Thankfully I got to spend more of that time between updates with family after a lot of the schoolwork stuff eased up (for like, two days LOL) and then I had the shitty fortune to develop a migraine two nights ago which delayed the process of finishing this chapter sooner. Hopefully I didn't inspire one in my poor sister who spent hours and hours reading over this bc most betas were too damn friendly. Love y'all! <3

 

Seiji sat in the room quietly waiting for Bobby to stop sniffling and return to the present. Bobby was wriggling slightly under his arm, and Seiji wondered how much longer this would take. Pinching his nose harder with his free hand, Seiji hoped desperately this would end soon. Honestly, it was getting rather depressing. Was  _ this  _ what Eugene meant when he’d joked with Nicholas about “sad boi hours”? Because it definitely felt that way. Hearing the door creak, Seiji was met with Nicholas’s tall figure in the doorway. Geez, Seiji hardly ever sat on the floor but the difference it made was enormous - and he was taller than Nicholas! His thoughts returned the lump of a human on the floor next to him. How small must  _ Bobby  _ feel all the time? Dante was even taller than the two of them - them being Nicholas and Seiji, of course - but Bobby hardly seemed to notice the difference. Maybe he was less self-conscious than Seiji had figured. 

 

“Back, got these - ” Nicholas started, stopping dead in his tracks with a bemused expression on his face. Bobby’s back was turned to him, so only Seiji caught the thumbs up and nod of approval from Nicholas. Seiji scowled back at him, now was not the time to risk Bobby thinking this was some type of joke. It was still awkward having Nicholas back in the room, and from the slight creases around his eyes when they made eye contact, it was clear the other boy had instantly remembered that...incident. Despite the discomfort, it felt like he and Nicholas were a team of sorts - they had to suck it up and deal with the tension between them in order to help Bobby feel better. 

 

After a minute, Bobby released himself from Seiji’s one-armed hug and stood up carefully, wobbling a little from the ‘pins and needles’ in his legs. Seiji felt the increase in personal space more than he anticipated - and was surprised to realize how much he missed it. Although it wasn’t a normal hug - it was rather pathetic, considering how one-armed and bloody it was - it had been calming. Perhaps if he and Bobby became better friends he could get more hugs. Breathing deeply, Seiji wondered how much he’d been missing out since his last friendship ended. Cringing at the memories of blonde hair and seemingly innocent eyes, Seiji shook his head slightly and refocused. It had only been a few seconds, but it seemed Bobby was settled now and about to walk out of the room.  _ Quick, say something _ \- Seiji’s mind tried, reaching out desperate little branches, trying to form roots in a fellowship he knew he needed to thrive. 

  
  


“Your stance is better.” In four words, Seiji Katayama had made one of the most awkward days of Bobby’s life so far infinitely better. He could see the brilliant smile as the boy turned around, could feel the jittering happiness bubbling through his peer. Yes, this was a good feeling. 

  
  


Unfortunately for Seiji, that good feeling was short-lived. As soon as Bobby stepped out the door, with a sing-songy voice saying, “Bye Nick! Bye Seiji!” the silence became overwhelming again.

  
  


Looking in different directions at  _ anywhere  _ but each other, the two sat, internally panicking and wondering how to approach the ever - expanding elephant in the room. 

  
  


Not for the first time, Seiji was grateful for that godawful, tacky, duck curtain dividing the room. The opaque cerulean-and-yellow print kept everything hidden - Seiji’s expression, and more importantly it hid Nicholas. If Seiji had to make eye contact with Nicholas right now, he was certain he’d lose it. The thought of looking into those inviting, friendly eyes was too much right now.

 

 Flushing at the memory of just how close he’d been, Seiji shut his eyes harshly, trying to block out the vision. It didn’t work. He could still feel the warmth from being so close, could see the red blossoming on Nicholas’s skin. And if he started to slip back into that recollection, he began to feel that haze wash over him again, enveloping him like warm water at the beach as the tide rolled in. If it hadn’t been so consequential, he would have happily crossed past the curtain and indulged in reliving the sensation, but this wasn’t fantasy. 

  
  
  


_ Should we just ignore it? Pretend it never happened?  _ Nick wondered, trying to think desperately but all that came to mind was the brief memory of that impact. Sure, it was accidental and clearly painful - Seiji did end up bleeding as a result, but despite it all Nick had felt a rush go through his system. It was like sunshine and orange soda on a hot day, like the joy he used to feel as a little kid when he learned a new skill. It felt wholesome, and thrilling and  _ right _ . At this realization Nick felt the urge to speak build up, words climbing their way up his chest, clawing at his insides until he blurted them out. 

 

“Are we gonna talk about that?” Nick’s voice cracked at the word “talk”, and he could’ve died at that moment from embarrassment. 

 

The pressure in the room kept rising and Seiji finally cracked under it. 

 

Wringing his hands together silently, Seiji felt he’d lost all semblance of volume control. He muttered quietly, more quietly than he’d intended to, “I - I didn’t find it necessary.”  _ What was he saying?  _ Here was the perfect (admittedly hellish) opportunity to actually talk to Nicholas about his feelings, about how he couldn’t have been the only one feeling that connection before Bobby tackled Nicholas.  _ Was this all in his head?  _

 

Untangling his hands from each other, Seiji let his forehead fall into his right hand and his left on the comforter. Would Nicholas understand what he was saying? That what happened was okay and that he didn’t want it to make things awkward? Was that even what Seiji wanted to say? He felt words coming up and he couldn’t stop them, as much as he wanted to.

 

“Are - are you still bleeding?” Nick asked, turning his head towards the curtain at the sound of Seiji’s voice. He didn’t realize it, but Seiji was doing the same. Trying to breathe deeply, Nick strained his ears to listen to a response that was taking a while.

 

“No, I’m fine.” Seiji answered, taking the paper towel out of his nose and starting to try and gauge the damage. Hopefully he wasn’t too messy, but it had been a pretty intense collision. He tried to focus on grooming himself but Nicholas kept speaking. 

 

“Not necessary, huh?” 

 

Seiji winced, not at the pain from his face but from how Nicholas sounded slightly off. He was taken back to the instance at the library with Tanner, where there was a hint of truth underneath the natural, casual voice Nicholas had. Back to when Nicholas was tearing up talking about his father, when they danced together and he had that bittersweet smile, that knowing look. It hurt to look back, because despite the tone of the room all it did was get Seiji’s hopes up. Staring at a wrinkled ducky on the curtain where he figured Nicholas’s face was, Seiji sighed silently. 

 

“It was an accident, Bobby didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” 

 

“It’s kinda tropey, though, isn’t it?” Seiji’s eyes widened and his heart fluttered far too excitedly.  _ Stop it, stop it, stop it. _ Seiji couldn’t get his hopes up - it wouldn’t be fair to either of them. Grimacing, he forced the palpitations to slow down - or at least sink to his stomach where he wouldn’t feel quite as out-of-breath from them. The focus on that didn’t stop what bubbled up next. 

 

“What do you mean?” Seiji instantly knew he’d regret asking this question, he could already feel the pain creeping in - this was surely going to be a blow to his heart. Why did he have to ask that? Since he’d met Nicholas and had to cohabitate with him, Seiji had noticed his self control beginning to slip. A few weeks ago he would have been able to keep a lid on his stupid question, but now? Not anymore. He hated it. 

 

“I mean, we fought the first day we got here, got better and now that happened. It sounds like it’s out of some dumb rom-com.” Nicholas laughed weakly and it sent a sharp pang through Seiji’s chest. Nicholas didn’t stop, though. 

 

“It’s just good to see that we’re friends.”’ 

  
  


_ And there it was _ . Seiji had told himself repeatedly not to allow himself to grow fond of Nicholas, and had practically started screaming that instruction once he’d found out Nicholas liked boys, too.  _ Just because he likes guys doesn’t mean he’ll like you, _ he’d replayed timelessly but clearly it hadn’t worked. The pang in his chest was now a full-blown stake, shoved directly through his heart. Stifling what felt suspiciously like an oncoming sob, Seiji cleared his throat and replied a little louder than before, “Yes...It is.” 

Nick couldn’t believe himself. 

 

He should have  _ known  _ something was off after Bobby smacked into the two of them, after Seiji stayed remarkably silent. There should have been some level of sputtering and confusion - or flat out disgust, but there hadn’t been. Was Seiji upset with Nick? No, he wasn’t snapping at him or being aggressive - nothing like what he’d experienced at tryouts. It felt wrong to wish something like that would happen, but Nick was feeling desperate. He was clinging onto hope, any hope that things could be okay or back to normal...But what was normal for them now? 

 

Nick had gotten lost in Seiji’s eyes twice now, and if he didn’t know any better he would guess the experience had been mutual. He’d noticed both times that he hadn’t been leaning further than Seiji was, and figured that if that was the case then maybe Seiji felt something, too.  _ No _ , he thought, shaking his head.  _ Just because we’re both guys who like guys doesn’t mean that we like each other,  _ Nick remembered. It crossed his mind that he was being selfish, and the idea sunk into his skin, seeping through his chest and plummeting into his stomach. 

 

“You haven’t had friends in a while, have you, Seiji?” Nick asked, running his hands along his legs, not really feeling the fabric but trying to soothe himself with the motion. 

 

“No,” Seiji began, clutching the edge of his duvet with one hand as he steeled himself against his nerves. 

 

“But I’ve also never had a friend like you before.”  _ Was that too forward?  _ At the extended silence, Seiji started panicking, adrenaline cutting through the numb disappointment he’d been enveloped in. He was about to take it back, to reach across the curtain and apologize - but Nicholas chuckled softly, the sound reverberating gently through the small room. 

 

“Okay Aladdin, I see you.” 

 

Nick was smiling softly, although this sucked he still found fun in teasing Seiji. Figures. Judging by the incredulous gasp, he’d done a good job. 

 

“Nicholas?” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“You’re  _ so  _ dumb.” Nick heard Seiji chuckling and the divide it brought him was bittersweet.

  
  
  


Nick felt the slightest smile creep up at the edges of his lips, not strong enough to grow fully - but enough to notice.  _ Well, maybe this doesn’t have to end. If I stay friends with Seiji for long enough, once he’s got other great people in his life - maybe it won’t be so scummy of me to like him?  _ Nick pondered this, after all - if he tried anything now, Seiji might feel manipulated. Worse yet, he might think Nick had been some secret fanboy who planned this - just another person who wasn’t really willing to be there for him for the sake of enjoying  _ Seiji _ , but there to enjoy the title of being with him, the bragging rights. Nick couldn’t do that to him, no, he had to wait and if this lasted then maybe there’d be a chance down the line. 

 

Drawing his knees to his chest, Nick resigned himself to this fate and tried to feel grateful. At least he wasn’t like Aiden, who was so clearly torn up by wanting his best friend that he threw himself aimlessly into the arms of almost anyone to try and fill that void. Nick couldn’t imagine feeling so low, he was lucky to have protective factors in his personality to keep him from doing that and further lowering his confidence. 

  
  
  


Across the room, Seiji was feeling some type of way - and that way was dejected. He wanted to go back in time thirty minutes, perhaps a little longer - and try to reset things. His mind was racing with “what if’s” and it wasn’t doing wonders for his self-esteem. He wasn’t great at trusting his instinct - training was what had gotten him to the level of competitive fencing he was at now - but he was rapidly finding himself chasing it after meeting Nicholas. Ever since that explosive near-hit, he’d been extending himself on and off the Salle to try to reach the other boy. If he had gone against his fear and kissed Nicholas before Bobby slammed into them, would things have been different? Definitely in some ways - but maybe he would have gotten an answer without having to infer. 

 

Head in his hands, Seiji wondered how he was going to get through this week. Homecoming was Saturday, which meant he had several days of interacting with Nicholas at practice, in class and back in their dorm. 

  
  
  


Down the hall, Eugene was knocking on Harvard and Aiden’s door. The Bons had apparently decided to tape their tokens of affection for Aiden (and many invitations to go to homecoming as dates) across it, leaving the normally yellowish wood covered in glittery pink-and-red paper. The school had a policy against over 25% of the door being covered, but it was known across campus that if Aiden tried to clear the door, it would only be buried under more poems and love letters. Not bothering to hide his smirk, Eugene waited patiently as he heard Harvard approaching the door. Harvard  had a...noticeable stepping pattern, and was louder on his feet than expected. 

 

The doorknob clicked and Harvard recognized Eugene’s figure in the doorway. Eugene asked if he could enter the room and Harvard politely stepped aside to allow his entrance. 

 

The door swung open and Eugene was surrounded by Adele and Amy Winehouse posters. They were hung up on Harvard’s wall, framed - gifts from Aiden, no doubt - and gave a beautiful black-and-white old Hollywood kind of feel to the room. It juxtaposed the DVD’s of  _ Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Star Wars _ (only 4,5 and 6) and  _ Monty Python _ that were stacked on the corner of Harvard’s desk. Eugene liked it, though. It was an accurate representation of his team captain, and he was excited to talk strategy with him today. 

 

“Why are you here, Eugene?” Harvard asked, his deeper, smoother voice reaching Eugene’s ears easily. 

 

“Haha, that’s rude - ”

 

“Sorry, but I know you’re here because you need help with something. Is this about Jesse?” Keen eyes glinted, and Eugene smiled. It was good having such a cunning leader in charge of the team. 

 

“Yeah, it is. So, I’ve tried cyberstalking him but all I’m getting from his Instagram bio is that he’s a squeaky-clean rich white boy.” 

 

“Which we already knew.” Harvard continued, snorting at the description. It wasn’t his fault Jesse sounded so bland online. 

 

“So what do you know about him? You’ve seen him - ”

 

“You mean, I’ve  _ met  _ him.” 

 

“Even better, and I need to know what his personality is like.” 

 

“I thought you knew him, judging by how quickly you jumped to take Nicholas’s place after he rejected it.” 

 

Eugene flushed slightly. He was grateful that it wasn’t so visible under the crappy fluorescent lighting, but responded a bit more bashfully than normal nonetheless. 

 

“Nope, I just like a challenge.” 

 

“And that ambition is what Coach Williams saw in you, but that doesn’t help you. You wanna know what he’s like?” 

 

“Duh. How else am I gonna get him to spill all his secrets? 

 

At this, Harvard smirked and Eugene smacked his shoulder in playful disapproval. Harvard feigned injury, and gestured to Eugene to sit down at his desk, while he took Aiden’s empty chair. 

 

“He’s very professional, kinda like Seiji but more in a PR-friendly kinda way. I think you’ve noticed, but Seiji doesn’t really  _ start  _ conversations - and that’s one of their differences. Jesse’s a lot more…” Harvard paused, searching for the right word. 

 

“Social. He’s more outgoing, not  _ friendly  _ \- but if you ask me,” Harvard leaned forward, clasping his hands together. Eugene subconsciously moved forward, eyebrows drawn closer in focus. 

 

Harvard continued, “I think he’s fronting some of that confidence. He hasn’t posted about having a girlfriend in well over a year, so I know he’s single and given that weird tension between him, Seiji and Nick - I think there could be something going on there. Don’t bet on him being bi, but work as though you know he is.” 

 

Eugene’s eyebrows shot up. “He had a girlfriend?” That could be a wrench in the works. 

 

“Kinda? If you count middle-school-dance dates.” 

 

Eugene laughed, feeling a weight off his shoulders. He was grateful there was no recent ex in the way - at least not one posted about. And given Jesse’s frequent shots with Perrier bottles  surrounded by teammates, captioned “crackin’ open a cold one with the boys”, he seemed the type to let the world know of his dating status. Yeah, Eugene could do this. 

  
  


A few days passed, and Nicholas found himself sitting uncomfortably on Bobby and Dante’s floor at the edge of Bobby’s bed. He had a pink, fluffy towel wrapped around his shoulders and a dustpan with its matching brush on his right, ready to sweep up the mess of hair which would inevitably dust the floor in a few minutes. . He had finally gotten around to letting Bobby to fix his hair, and was getting a bit nervous at the prospect of a change in hairstyle. 

 

The process itself wasn’t bad, and Nick trusted his friend’s abilities - but he did wonder how different he was gonna look. His undercut had grown in, so the “edgy” look he’d been sporting had faded to something a little more classic, minus the ridiculously long top that was starting to look like emo bangs. Bobby had been quite vocal against that detail while trimming the rest of Nick’s hair. The “2006-undiagnosed-depression-looking-fringe” he had grown in needed to go. 

 

Choking back a laugh because he did  _ not  _ want to fuck up his hair by shaking unexpectedly, Nick questioned Bobby for the umpteenth time. 

 

“Are you almost done?” His only response was a slight kick to his side. Thankfully, Bobby was wearing flats instead of boots so there was minimal damage to his precious fencing ribs. After another minute or two of waiting and listening to the playlist they’d set up in the background for Bobby to get “into the zone”, Nick was brushed off and told to stand up. 

 

“Done!” 

 

Nick carefully pushed himself off the floor and removed the pink towel from his shoulders, flinging it towards a corner where it hung half inside a laundry bin. Moving towards the mirror mounted above Bobby’s desk as a makeshift vanity,  Nick tousled his drying hair and raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Spinning around to hug Bobby, Nick spun his friend around in the air. 

 

“This is great! Let me go get my phone - I gotta send a pic of this to my mom, she’ll love you forever!” Nick exclaimed before scampering off, sprinting down the hall to his dorm. Holding the door handle, he vaguely heard a click but didn’t process the noise in time  and was suddenly tugged through the doorway, crashing into Seiji.  _ Whoops _ . Feeling his hands clutching into his roommate’s sweater, Nick flushed furiously and released his grip, looking up to meet an equally red face.  _ Huh? _

 

“Phone - I - it’s over there - mom - augh!” Nick sputtered, moving past Seiji and making his best effort not to die of embarrassment.  _ So far so good, I guess. _ They had maintained an awkward silence the last few days, mainly limiting themselves to meaningless small talk if they felt the need to interact at all. It was painful. 

  
  


While Nicholas was crossing the room to get his phone, still reeling from yet another unintentional impact, Seiji was red for another reason. And dear god, he was mad at himself for it.  _ Why am I so fucking gay? He only cut his hair, it’s not a big deal!  _ He groaned audibly, feeling even worse at the realization that Nicholas must have heard it, but it seemed the uncomfortable tension won out against any arguments or questioning brought about by the sound. Dropping his book he was carrying, Seiji decided to forgo his library visit. He headed down the hallway to a door he never expected to knock on, at least not for  _ this  _ reason. 

 

The door opened to an initially bright and beautiful face. Apparently, Aiden was still in his room. Good. Aiden’s flirtatious glow faded the second he recognized Seiji, and judging by the look on Aiden’s face now - Seiji could tell he was in a similar situation. Seiji could not be bothered to feel humiliated about this any longer, if he was gonna be miserable then he was gonna be miserable with someone who could relate. Even if that person was a total bitch. 

 

“Harvard?” Seiji asked flatly, expression bland. 

 

“Nick?” Aiden bit back bitterly, a sneer coming across his normally playful face. Seiji almost snorted at how much he thought it suited the man-eater standing across from him. Raising an eyebrow the tiniest bit, Seiji looked past Aiden wordlessly asking to be invited inside.  __ Aiden stood back and held the door open, allowing him into the empty room. 

 

Nothing in the room had changed since their talk earlier, spare for the different tension they were sharing now. Although they didn’t like one another, there was a sense of camaraderie between the two as they sat in opposing chairs like last time, glaring at each other. This time, the look wasn’t one of mutual destruction, but of mutual defeat. 

 

“All those cards on your door, but none are from the one you want.” Seiji started, making an effort to appear more sympathetic than aggressive. Aiden seemed to get the message clearly, and replied softly. 

 

“Welcome to my world, Wonder Boy. What’s going on with your front?” Aiden rolled his eyes, head hanging back as he slouched in his chair. 

 

Seiji swallowed hard before continuing, “We...aren’t speaking.” Aiden laughed emptily. 

 

“How’d you fuck that up?” 

 

“It was...kind of Bobby’s fault? Something happened, and I wasn’t honest with Nick.” Seiji sighed loudly, trying to see if the breath would help him stop feeling so numb about the whole situation. It didn’t. 

 

Aiden whistled lowly, “So, did he get between you two or something? I mean, I didn’t think Nick would be the type to go after someone like Bobby.” At this, Seiji felt himself crumbling. Tearing up slightly, he looked up to find Aiden in a similar situation. He looked so wistful and unlike himself, his green eyes shimmering with sadness. 

 

“He actually didn’t,” Seiji began, trying not to choke up. He knew if he mentioned the accidental kiss that he was going to cry, but the tone of the room seemed to welcome his oncoming breakdown with open arms.. Before he got into it, Seiji felt compelled to ask, “Is Harvard going to be here? And are you going to share any of what gets said in here?” 

 

“No, he’s out with his parents meeting his official date. She’s some supergenius from a rival school, apparently Little Miss Perfect has a 4.2 GPA and is on track for UPenn. And no, I may be  _ that bitch _ but I’m not gonna be  _ a bitch  _ tonight.”

  
  
  
  
  


A few hours later Seiji returned to his dorm, feeling a bit lighter than before he’d visited Aiden. He was surprised to see how well that worked out, but misery loves company and boy, did Aiden have some stories to tell that made him feel less alone. Better, even, by comparison. 

 

Seiji couldn’t imagine  _ 12 years _ of getting mixed signals and the slightest hints of mutual interest, only to be dashed away by reminders of Harvard’s family being imposing with girls. He had only known Nicholas even  _ existed  _ for around eight months now, and he’d only really gotten to know him for the past two. 

  
Granted, he had done his fair amount of retrospectively  ~~ gay ~~ obsessing over him before that bonding actually occurred - but it was still microscopic compared to what Aiden had gone through. Seiji at least knew he was gay when he met Nick, Aiden had to find out he was through growing up and having a crush on his best friend, second-guessing himself all the while. Closing the door behind him, Seiji sat down on his bed and began reading  _ East of Eden.  _ It had been too long since he’d taken some time for himself and he needed the break.

 

Finally escaping, he relaxed as he eased into the lives of the Trask and Hamilton families. Yes, _this_ would help take his mind off things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "IVE BEEN READING TJIS SHIT FOR LIKE THREE FUCKING HOURS I’M SO FUCKING TIRED BRO-BRO I love you and you don’t pay me enough I’m gonna unionize and sue your ass for minimum wage and dental insurance I swear to christ" 
> 
> ^ My wonderful sister, who honestly deserves so much better. 
> 
>  
> 
> ...I may or may not have promised to write her a shit ton of JJBA fanfics for our OTP's and her favorite characters in order to make up for her being my new permanent beta reader. So...when I finish writing all my planned shit for Fence, you bitches had better be prepared for some brilliant CaeJose and a bajillion other wholesome things <3


	11. Friday I'm in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Friday. Our boys get some well-deserved happier times together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF my KHR is dropping. RIP that 10% I've been aiming for. On the bright side the hits have fucking exploded! Thanks, guys!!! Hopefully with this chapter y'all will start to feel happier and remember that despite all the angst I give you, there will be a happy ending. A really happy one. ;) 
> 
> Shameless plug for The Cure??? Psh...Never! ;D

 

“Kally, can you help me set up _Uno_?” 

 

Eugene’s eager voice overpowered the chatter in the cramped common room. The team crowded around Aiden and Bobby, who were busy helping everyone get ready for tomorrow night. 

 

“Aiden, why is my face blue?” Harvard asked, reaching up to touch the face mask he had expertly painted on a few minutes prior. It was a stunning shade of blue and honestly confused him. _Would it stain? Was it going to make him look bruised?_ He had almost reached his face  but was stopped by Aiden’s hand. 

 

“Don’t, I did _not_ just spend my afternoon sneaking into Clarice’s Christmas gifts only to have you fuck it up because you don’t get it.” 

 

“About that,” Nick interjected, uneven globs of electric blue paste smeared over his face. “Why did you do this?” 

 

“Nicholas, I know none of you - spare for Bobby - take much pride in grooming yourselves, but some of us like to be elegant and I knew there was no way you’d do skincare unless -” 

 

“Hey!” Eugene cried out, holding the container in his hands up so the room could see. “It’s got _Sonic the Hedgehog_ on it!” 

 

Aiden had a wry smile on his face as he pushed Harvard back, rolling his eyes. 

 

Back with Eugene, Kally had sat down and began reviewing rules for Uno. It wasn’t his favorite game - there would be time for that later - but he’d been asked to review them for the people who were playing (Nicholas, Bobby, Dante and Tanner). Seiji hadn’t arrived yet, _something about a late practice with Dmytro_ , recalled Kally as he held up the reverse Uno card. Big mistake. 

 

“Ur mom gay, Nick -- “ Eugene started, before the card was snatched from Kally’s hand and thrown unceremoniously at the offender. 

 

“No, u!” 

 

The two collapsed into giggles at the dumb joke, and Kally shook his head while a smile grew on his face. Sometimes the guys were a bit too much for him, but it was moments like this that made him remember he did fit in, even though he was no longer on the team. He often felt like a motherly figure to them - and to some extent, Tanner - and wondered if he was too reserved for such friendships, but dumb jokes and laughter always grounded him. 

 

Bobby had been paying attention during the spiel, apparently he’d never played the game before and when the group found out and offered to go easy on him, he blushed and shook his head, saying that was unnecessary. 

 

After a few ‘warm up’ rounds with Eugene ruthlessly winning, Harvard and Aiden joined in and livened things up. Aiden apparently was one ruthless motherfucker, Kally noted, as the resident playboy slapped cards down onto the floor pile, matching colors and numbers at a ridiculous speed. Soon the game was accelerating to the point where Aiden, Eugene and Harvard were the only players and it was getting pretty intense. 

 

“I’m gonna step out for a sec, anyone want popcorn?” Nick joked, exaggerating how brutal the game had become. Kally giggled and looked to Tanner who shook his head. 

 

As Nick strolled over to the communal microwave, he wondered how Seiji was doing. It had been miserable the past few days, dealing with the uncomfortable silence in their shared room. He’d yearned to try and fix it, to see what kind of conversation it would take to get them talking like they had been again - but nothing came to mind. Everything just seemed stupid, and yes or no questions wouldn’t get him anywhere. 

 

Pulling out a mug and a packet of cheap instant coffee (decaf, it was already 9 PM), Nick turned on the faucet and wondered how Seiji was doing. He would’ve gone with regular, but he didn’t need any more sleepless nights, he’d been stressed enough with his stupid love life - or lack, therof. As the cup filled slowly, he recalled how Seiji had received a phone call from his dad the other night - and just how uncomfortable that entire scenario had been. It had been pretty clear from Seiji’s clipped tone that Seiji was disinterested in the conversation, and at one point he’d mentioned a lack of a date to the dance and Nick visibly cringed. _Oof, that was difficult to be honest about_ \- and when Seiji was pestered about it further Nick could hear the agitation in his voice as he feigned boredom and gave the excuses that, “No one is worth my time so far, and I’m busy working on my schoolwork and training.” He wanted to reach out, to help Seiji not feel so alone in this, but there was still that discomfort between the two. Turning the water off, Nick steadily carried the mug over to the microwave and placed it in for a minute and pressed start. 

 

While he waited for the timer to go off, Nick looked back across the common room and snorted at all the dumb shit the guys were getting up to. Harvard was smiling triumphantly as he stood up, clearly the victor of the final round of Uno. Nick watched Harvard trail over to Tanner, who was starting to take an armful of... _coathangers and paper towel rolls?_ to the table in the middle of the room, setting them down loudly. Whatever he was gonna do, Nick was tempted to avoid it - it looked entirely too complicated. 

 

But as he sat down at the edge of the table, Nick felt a change in heart. Tanner was always considerate of the team, and judging by the look on his face he could use a hand. Placing his mug down, Nick began what ultimately would turn into a disaster and asked, “Hey, do you want some help?” 

 

Joining Kally at the table, Nick could feel his stress beginning to seep away. All he had to do was focus on something else, and then a solution would surely come to him. 

  
  
  


Seiji finished his final jab at Dmytro, who gave him the usual smile - an eerie sight, as it was so professional. Smiles shouldn’t be that way - it felt ingenuine. A month ago he might not have been so bothered by it, but now that he’d been bonding with the team more Seiji was more sensitive to these details. As he packed up his equipment and thanked Dmytro, he started to head back to Castello and couldn’t help but feel distressed by the prospect of facing Nicholas again, especially when he wanted to talk. 

 

The outdoor air was brisk, biting at his fingertips and the sunset that came with it brought a bizarre atmosphere to the campus. Walking quickly and trying not to shudder, Seiji felt a pang as he remembered this was around the time he used to sneak out with Nicholas. A feeling of disappointment sinking into his stomach, he stopped briefly and looked up at the evening sky. It was rapidly turning to dusk, and the fading orange along the horizon was being replaced with a dazzling blue. The further Seiji craned his neck back the darker that hue became. The more stars he saw peeking through the darkness the lonlier  he felt. Adjusting his gaze to face the moon, Seiji wondered how he was going to fix his relationship with Nick. The discomfort in the room when they were both present was palpable. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence between strangers - it was a strange stalemate between two people who clearly wanted to resolve whatever was going on between them. But stalemates were never something Seiji was used to, he typically beat people with ease - and Nicholas was far more stubborn than Seiji had initially determined. 

 

Sighing loudly, Seiji resumed walking and checked his phone. It had been flooded with messages in the group chat - Bobby had taken lots of photos and commented “We should print these!” Seiji winced at the brightness, but he smiled softly when he saw the different members of the team messing around on his screen. 

 

Aiden was smirking as Harvard stood triumphantly with a playing card of some sort in the first photo. In the background, Eugene was fake-sulking and Tanner had thrown an arm around him, ‘sobbing’ in a dramatic display of mock sympathy. The next few were shots of Bobby getting his hair braided by Kally. _Tanner must have taken these_ , mused Seiji as he scrolled through the rest. Aiden was looking directly at the camera and had _Naruto_ whiskers painted on his face in bright blue stripes - a confusing but humorous choice, and Harvard was laughing while doing the ‘kage bunshin no jutsu’ pose next to him. They were really cute pictures, but as he caught up to the most recent messages Seiji noticed he hadn’t seen Nicholas in any of them. 

 

Nicholas must have bailed on the group, which meant he would be back in the room, forcing Seiji back into the uncomfortable silence he was hoping to escape. He’d been yearning for the emotional intimacy they had during their talks at the clubhouse, and several times this week he’d been tempted to send a text requesting another hangout there - but he’d been too shy. He’d considered writing a note - something brief, unlike the letters Nicholas wrote but he felt it would be sleazy to take something so personal for himself. If he tried to make what Nicholas used to cope for something far more important than Seiji, then it would be insensitive, wouldn’t it? So this only left him with one option: gritting it out and talking to him.

 

Shit. 

 

Despite his wavering confidence and his lack of ideas, Seiji _knew_ that he needed to resolve this issue with Nicholas soon. If he had to stand around awkwardly pretending he wasn’t annoyed by (perfectly friendly, but unfortunately ignorant) girls asking him to dance while Nicholas was off trying to learn the skill level of the new boy at Exton Seiji was going to _crack_. With each passing day the reminders of how uncomfortable he would be at this stupid dance only grew in frequency and to his dismay, brought back the images of dancing with Nicholas and actually having fun. Walking faster to try and wear himself out, Seiji closed his eyes harshly for a second and shook his head. 

 

These thoughts would not help him, what he needed to do was put himself in Nicholas’s shoes and _think_ . What was it Nicholas had said - that if someone was good for you, they’d communicate and listen. They had done that before, so why couldn’t they get back there? Their relationship was worth the fight, wasn’t it? _Of course it was_. 

 

Taken back to that moment, Seiji felt the ghost of impact brush his lips and the taste of copper. He was almost back to Castello by now, but he knew he could get through this if he tried. _Whatever it takes,_ he thought. He had to have resolve. If he could be the second-best fencer in a nation as large as the United States, then he could get over some boy issues. Yes, he’d handle this ASAP. 

  


Entering Castello, Seiji hardly noticed the ruckus as he passed through the hall to his dorm. Bobby at one point left the common room and waved to him, but Seiji only nodded in response. He had to shower and then sort out this whole Nicholas thing. Entering the room, Seiji was surprised to see the light off. In a moment of paranoia, he asked quietly, “Nicholas?” 

 

When he received no response, he sighed and turned the light on. Sure enough, the room was empty - Nicholas’s bed was unmade and messy as hell. No surprise there, but it _was_ strange Nicholas wasn’t here and wasn’t in any of the group chat photos. Had he ducked out of the room and the party? _No_ , Seiji mused. That would be out of character, Nicholas was far more outgoing than Seiji and wouldn’t miss a chance to goof off. Dropping his equipment beside the foot of his bed, Seiji took his folded pajamas from on top of the duvet and in a moment of frustration, chucked them into the bathroom. 

 

 _Breathe_ , _it doesn’t have to be immediate,_ he self-soothed. Clenching and relaxing his fists, Seiji walked over to the bathroom door and shut it a little too hard. Cringing at the noise, he turned the shower faucet and waited for the water to warm up. Maybe he’d be able to calm down after refreshing. 

  
  


Back in the common room, Nicholas was entirely regretting his decision to help Tanner. Whatever dumb Pinterest hack tutorial the group had selected was clearly some step-skipping, useless bullshit. Although the disastrous failure had been funny, Nick was starting to wonder how difficult it would be to get all the hot glue strands off his skin. He hadn’t been this messy since the last time he tried to help his mom with crafts as a little kid - and was quickly remembering why. The texture of the dried glue was starting to irritate his skin and he needed to rinse off. 

 

Wondering if he should bother going back to the room to shower, Nick remembered Seiji might run into him and decided against it. In all their time alone this week, Nick had noticed the other boy burying his face into any book with an intense, stiff focus whenever Nick stepped out of the shower without a shirt on.  

 

“I’m gonna get this stuff off of me, ‘kay?” Nick excused himself, gently placing down the haphazardly assembled contraption he’d been holding back onto the table. Tanner didn’t look too bothered by this, so Nick guessed it wasn’t that big a deal. 

 

As he scrubbed the cobweb-appearing strands away, Nick’s thoughts returned to Seiji. Again. _Ugh, this sucks_. 

  
  
  


Seiji was dressed in his soft, blue pajamas and finally felt ready to go see the team. After much consideration, Seiji concluded that even if he couldn’t talk to Nicholas one-on-one tonight, they could at least be in some social situations together without as much pressure. Besides - the more people there were to fill in the gaps in a conversation, the easier they could return to normal. All Seiji had to do was play it casual, as though nothing had changed - maybe insert a snarky remark here or there, answer a question about protein shakes or roll his eyes at perfectly timed moments. Yes, he could do this. 

  


Putting on his socks and slippers, Seiji ran his fingers through his hair one last time before stepping out of the room and heading over to the team. Straightening his spine, he tried to appear as confident as he could. 

  


“Oh, hey Seiji!” Harvard greeted Seiji as he entered the common room. Harvard’s face mask had been removed, but there was still something clinging to him - Aiden. 

 

Aiden had a few scrapes through the _Naruto_ whiskers remaining on his face, but as far as Seiji could see he looked completely fine. He was smiling, actually. _He must be feeling better._  

 

“Hi, Harvard.” 

 

Seiji looked around the room, trying to figure out where on Earth Nicholas could be. Judging by the eyebrow raise and sad smile, Aiden seemed to notice what Seiji was doing. Feeling a flush of embarrassment, Seiji turned away and started walking towards the loudest part of the room. 

 

Kally and Tanner were setting up Cards Against Humanity, and Seiji had never felt so relieved to see the “game for horrible people”. While he had no doubt he would be scarred from learning  how fucked up his teammates’ humor was, he had little doubt that dark comedy would be a simple way to break the ice between him and Nicholas again. Sitting down, he asked a question. 

 

“Who’s starting?” 

 

“I am - ” Seiji’s head snapped up as he heard Nicholas join them, whose arms were damp for some reason. _Better not ask_. Nicholas, however read Seiji like a book. 

 

“I was wondering when you’d arrive.” Nicholas smiled warmly, and Seiji’s theory seemed to be right: the more people there were between them, the easier they could resume talking again. 

 

The rest of the team still hadn’t picked up on their dynamic shift, so Seiji quickly fell into his old routine and played unimpressed. 

 

“Some of us are busy being productive, Nicholas.” Bobby giggled and Tanner gawked at how rude the comment was, but it seemed most people found the teasing funnier than offensive. Nicholas included. _There’s that smile_ , Seiji thought, witnessing the first genuine one he’d seen in days. Knowing it came from Nicholas made it all the more special, and while he didn’t notice the faint flush rising to his face, someone else did as they sat down. 

“Aiden, can you teach me how to play?” Kally asked, looking to the no-longer-Naruto-streaked boy who had just joined with Harvard. 

 

Nick silently chuckled, mouthing, “I’m right here” much to the amusement of the rest of the group. 

 

Seiji noted Nicholas had already gotten the instructions out, but Aiden snatched them from him and chucked them over his shoulder dramatically. It would have been less comedic if they hadn’t knocked a drink over, though. Harvard was up on his feet and Aiden was looking embarrassed - a rare expression - but the humor wasn’t _really_ at Aiden’s expense so all was well. 

 

“Ever played Apples to Apples, Kally?” Aiden asked, a serious expression on his face. 

 

“Yeah! I’m really good at it!” 

 

“Well, this is that - but ‘for horrible people’.” Aiden smirked, pointing to the box’s quote. At this, Tanner seemed to remember that Kally was pretty naive, and spoke up hurriedly, the worry apparent in his voice. 

 

“Are you sure we should be playing this? I mean, there’s kids here -” Tanner gestured to Bobby and Kally, who scowled and rolled their eyes at him. Bobby was quick to prove Tanner wrong, and quickly recited all the nasty cards he had learned while playing with Dante and his family, citing “My abuelita may be sweet, but she’s raised three boys and is a savage at this game.”

 

Tanner quickly paled and Kally smiled weakly, preparing for battle. 

 

This was gonna be _good_. 

  
  
  
  


_Dante is disturbingly good at this game_ , Nicholas thought as he saw the BFG collecting another prompt card. _And how does Bobby know_ all _the cards Dante puts? Are they in sync?_ Unfortunately for him, the secret powers Bobby and Dante shared would not be revealed to him that night - but eventually he’d figure it out. 

 

Seiji was also looking alarmed, he’d gone recently and unfortunately got a card which said, “What turned me Republican?” and promptly facepalmed. It had gone even worse than he had expected. Somehow Aiden had gotten his hands on a card about Monica Lewinsky and much to Seiji’s chagrin had gotten him to laugh. It was _so bad_ , what he’d said - but the historical accuracy was too much. Seiji had to let Aiden win that one, it was _too good_ to pass up. 

 

Nicholas seemed impressed by that, Seiji noted. As the night went on and the game had gotten more intense (they had decided to forgo the rule of five cards wins), they had actually talked a bit. Nicholas’s eyes seemed to go a little softer now when he saw Seiji, they looked less...off, less reserved and more like the normal Nicholas. It was a relief to see, and Seiji finally felt like things were going well. 

 

As the game wrapped up, Eugene yawned and Aiden compared the loud noise to that of a moose’s mating call, which sent the team back into stitches. But it didn’t take long for everyone to remember how tired they were. As the room was cleaned up and the boys headed back to their respective rooms, Seiji felt himself relax for the first time as he went back to collapse in his bed, Nick faceplanting similarly on his own. The two laughed, and Seiji felt things had finally been fixed. 

 

“Seiji?” Nicholas asked, and Seiji’s breath surprisingly didn’t hitch. 

 

“Yes, Nicholas?” Seiji was too tired to try and get the sleepiness out of his voice. 

 

“I’m glad.” 

 

“Goodnight, Nicholas.” Seiji replied as he started to fall asleep. 

 

“Do you ever think about ducks and the universe?” 

  
“No. _Goodnight_ .” Seiji said more forcefully, as he felt tiny tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He muffled his soft laughter with his pillow. God, this was so much better. The relief he felt was incomparable, and he smiled into the soft fabric of his pillowcase thinking about how that stupid question wasn’t annoying anymore, it was _endearing_. Things really had changed, and as the smile slowly slipped from his face Seiji fell asleep, finally getting some much-needed rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. You'll never know how much it means to me. I know that I'm not the biggest writer in the fandom, but the support y'all have been giving in the kudos and comments sections has really warmed my heart and helped a ton. It's been a rough week (my dog died) and the patience y'all have given me is astounding. Please feel free to comment any thoughts, suggestions, etc. I appreciate the input! 
> 
> And as always, leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed! They make my day so much brighter and it's a free way to show support ;)


	12. It's Been A While Since I Saw Your Face (Maybe it's Helped Me Move On)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of 2 of the dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Hey guys! I wasn't going to break it up any further but I had to, and now part one is finally here! Whoooot whoooot :) {This fic was initially only going to be around 20k words but we can clearly see I got a little too into it ;)} 
> 
> Can we just talk about how much of this chapter is dedicated to other pairings in fence that don’t get a lot of attention??? Like christ i just remembered I gotta write about some background kally and tanner otherwise shutupandwrite is gonna cry and it’ll be my forgetful ass’s fault. We shall see what i do - but i wanted the culmination of all this work to have payoff for everything we’ve been waiting for (and y’all will be waiting for, for almost two years it looks like *insert eyeroll*) 
> 
> In regards to my hiatus? I don’t quit. Ever. I don’t skip out on fics, I don’t give up on writing them - I just postpone and get them done when they’re able to be completed. I don’t allow myself to work on ANYTHING ELSE (beyond outlines). As frustrating as my process is, I promise it works. I can’t tell you how irritating it is for me to see fic writers who haven’t updated one work in ages (which is clearly their best one) but they’ve worked on a bunch of other stuff - it’s totally within their right to do so, and I applaud them for writing so much - but god, I could never do that. I would never finish anything and it’d be miserable for everyone involved. But yes, this process works for me because the frustration of not being able to write about stuff I really fucking love burns me to my core and kicks my ass into gear so I actually finish shit. 
> 
> In all seriousness, thank you so much for reading. I have around eight more fics planned for Fence, and while I loved writing this I’m gonna take a little break and write some JJBA stuff. My sister and I have been catching up (she’s all caught up, spare for reading part 8) and ya girl’s bitch ass fell hard for CaeJose and I haven’t been the same ever since. Btw, who tf came up with their ship name? Bc JoseCae rolls off the tongue SO much easier - it’s literally pronounced “Josie”. - __ - Fujoshis, I’m glaring at you (like always). 
> 
> But yeah if any of y’all know JoJo or wanna get into it, I hope you stick around for some of the content I’ve planned because BOI DO WE HAVE A LOT! 
> 
> Catch the Cinderella meme “you suck dick, don’tchu girl?” reference?? And i’ll be ashamed of myself forever but at least i’ll know you are just as trash as i am.

 

“Does this look right?” Nick asked, standing in front of Bobby’s vanity mirror as he tried to fix himself up. His suit was a darker blue than the normal shade for Kings Row - a truer indigo than navy, and although the fit was the slightest bit off, it looked fantastic. Aiden had lent it to him, saying it was a gift from Clarice and his ‘stupid dad’, who ‘hadn’t bothered to realize I’m taller now’. Despite the disheartening story behind the clothes, Nick was grateful for the generosity. 

 

Bobby was sitting behind Nick, getting his hair braided by Dante. The style he had been going for was a “waterfall” and it looked lovely. It complemented the growing sharpness of his features. The gentle waves rippling through the ends of his hair shone in the light of Dante’s salt lamp, the pink light tinting it a warm, rosy hue.

 

“It looks great,” Bobby replied, smiling excitedly as he felt the last of the ties go into his hair. Smoothing down the front of his dress, a teal-green number a la  _ Little Mermaid _ \- because fuck your gender standards - Bobby sighed in satisfaction as he saw the sparkles in the ruffled fabric. 

 

Dante retreated his hands from Bobby’s now finished hair into in his grey suit pockets. The starched fabric crinkled and irritated him, but at least he wouldn’t have to wear this all day. Any chance to hang out with Bobby and not be surrounded by fencers was welcomed, despite any other discomforts he might feel. 

 

Nick smiled as he turned around, seeing Dante gazing affectionately at his smaller friend. The two made everything look so easy, and maybe that was how it should be. Bobby didn’t see the glimmer in Dante’s eyes, but Nick did and felt a warmth wash over him. Nick wasn’t sure if they were actually together - actually, if he thought about it, they probably weren’t - but the dynamic they had was healthy and reliable. Both things Nick had been longing for. 

 

Bobby’s phone buzzed, and as the small boy launched himself off the bed to retrieve it from his dresser, Nick wondered who had sent a message that important. He didn’t have to wait long for an answer. 

 

“It’s Aiden!” Bobby exclaimed, fidgeting with excitement as he scrolled through the messages. 

 

“He sent pictures of him and Harvard - look at how handsome they are!” Bobby turned his phone towards Nicholas and Dante, who dutifully gazed at the images sent. Sure enough, Aiden’s flouncy hair had appeared even fluffier than normal - and did he get highlights?  _ Wow, he really goes all in _ , Nick mused. Harvard had a haircut and looked impeccably groomed, probably Aiden’s doing - and as Nick looked closer at the bottom photos his eyes opened in surprise. 

 

“Is that…” Nick started, his eyebrow raising in question.

 

“Oh my god,” Bobby muttered, eyes sparkling in realization. 

 

“They’re wearing  _ matching suits! _ ” Bobby’s voice squeaked and Nick felt a pang in his ears, but wasn’t bothered. The smirk on his face was too much, and he felt himself beginning to laugh. 

 

Aiden and Harvard’s suits were mirrored opposites, Harvard’s tux was a crisp white, which he paired with a violet tie to include his favorite color. The brightness of it reflected his smile as Harvard laughed in the final photo, with Aiden throwing an arm around him as the two posed.  Aiden’s suit was black and the teal tie he’d chosen brought out his eyes, which Nicholas noted were  _ full  _ of adoration. They were stunning. 

 

“Are they going together?” Nick asked, feeling a shift in the room as he said it. 

 

Bobby’s muscles tensed, and Nick heard the swish of Dante’s hair as he looked away. After a second, Bobby spoke, the wince resonating through his voice as he replied, “No, uh...Harvard’s family has him going with this girl from another school because she’s a ‘better influence’...” Bobby’s voice trailed off and Nick felt the hurt of those implications. 

 

_ So Harvard’s family doesn’t approve of Aiden? Sheesh, _ Nicholas thought as he tried to reconcile the thoughts in his head. Sure, Aiden was a manipulative asshole and wasn’t keen on close relationships but it was clear to  _ anyone with eyes  _ what had been happening there. The two had been best friends for about twelve years and the dance of “will they/won’t they” must have been brutal on poor Aiden’s heart. Nick wondered if Harvard had any idea. 

As if reading his thoughts, Bobby tapped Nick’s right shoulder and said, “No, I think he’s too self-conscious to realize.” 

 

The collective sigh in the room was louder than expected, and it shouldn’t have surprised Nick. He couldn’t imagine why Harvard would think he wasn’t good enough for Aiden, but the longer he empathized the clearer it became: Aiden’s self-destructive behavior had been pushing Harvard away. That  _ hurt  _ to know. 

 

Aiden had always been more in tune with his emotions, Nicholas knew - someone like Aiden could only be so manipulative either because he was devoid of feelings and human connection, or he felt that taut string of a bond so strongly that he knew how to use it against others. As it dawned on him, Nick figured the habits of throwing himself at others must have started earlier for Aiden because Aiden realized his attraction to his best friend first. If Harvard had been the first to notice this, things may have turned out differently - but judging by the forced-date with the honor roll girl, Harvard’s family may not have realized their son’s orientation, or the fact he was hopelessly in love with his best friend. 

 

_ Count your blessings, Nick _ , echoed the voice of his mother. Nick knew where this memory was going.  _ There is always someone to compare yourself to who will make you feel worse  _ (Jesse), _ but there will also be so many more people to remind you of how fortunate you are.  _ The soft, slightly frayed sound of her voice reminded Nick of being small and feeling inadequate. Before he had to worry about having feelings for people, back when all he wanted to do was compete with his brother - because half-brothers are still brothers - he would look at the VHS tapes his mother had hidden of his dad’s matches, and wonder what it must have been like to be Jesse, born into such a wonderful family. A complete one. 

 

Being at Kings Row had initially only enforced those stereotypes he’d let himself believe, but the longer he stayed at the school the more he knew that his friends’ rich families weren’t any better off than his a lot of the time. People had problems no matter how much money they had to hide behind - they were just better at concealing it. Aiden’s family had been...catastrophic to live in, from the little bits and pieces Nick overheard Aiden venting about to Harvard. Occasionally Bobby would join in and sympathize - but there was only so much the junior could do. Aiden’s mother had died shortly after the divorce, and every five years or so Aiden’s dad would get a “new model” of a mother - some 20-something-year-old woman who had money on her mind and with enough cosmetic surgery and hair bleaching could vaguely resemble Aiden’s mother. At best these women would be ‘Aiden-adjacent’.  

 

Shaking himself free of the cloud he’d started to feel forming around his head, Nick looked down to his phone to check for any updates from the rest of the gang. Seiji hadn’t responded to any of the messages, but as he scrolled down Nick could see everything had been “read”. Lurker. Snorting at Seiji’s predictability, Nick pocketed his phone and asked Bobby about Eugene. 

 

“Any idea where our bro is? He’s supposed to be getting ready for this --” A knock at the door interrupted them. Eyes widening in hope, Nick dashed over to the door, opening it a little too quickly, feeling the wind brush the hair back out of its style. Oops.  _ Sorry, Bobby.  _

 

Sure enough, Eugene was on the other side of the door, smiling as he often did - but there was a twinge of something different here, Nick noticed. One of Eugene’s hands rested on his stomach and the other was under his chin, fingers pressing into the skin hard enough to feel a pulse. Was he nervous? 

 

“You okay there, dude?” Nick asked, stepping back to let his bro in. 

 

“Huh?” Eugene stammered, “Oh, yeah, I’m totally fine dude. Just...hyping myself up is all.” 

 

“You need any help with that?” 

 

“Nuh-uh,” Eugene was looking a bit sickly now.  _ Definitely overthinking things, _ Nick noted. 

 

“Bitch, you do.” 

 

//

 

While Nicholas was busy amping Eugene up for the night of his adolescent life (so far), Aiden was making some last minute touch-ups on his hair. His father had always told him appearances were to be kept up, and while he despised the man, he had learned from his lessons impeccably. Finishing up the final mist of hairspray, he tousled his hair one last time for “effortless” waves (a feat which used to take him thirty minutes, now only five and a well-timed shower beforehand) and leaned away from the mirror, placing the bottle down. 

 

Harvard was next to him on the phone with his parents who sounded overjoyed to hear from him again. Aiden didn’t really understand their dynamic. They called every weekend to catch up - how much could they have possibly missed? He could feel the bitterness creeping into his thoughts, the sharp edge of his voice cutting jagged, uneven, ugly lines between him and his vision of Harvard’s family like a torn photograph. He supposed they’d always known. The looks he’d been given as a child when he talked about innocuous things, the notes on the ways he’d act and how he was generally more affectionate with his male friends - he was too young to have a crush, but it appeared they’d pigeonholed him into a box before age 9. 

 

Leaning against the counter with his eyes shut, Aiden tried to calm himself down. He could hear bits and pieces of their voices, and couldn’t stand it. Years of memories were rushing over him, drowning him in details of times he’d rather forget - and he felt as though a frigid stream of water was coursing down his spine, jolting him back to reality as he heard Harvard say, “I love you,” and hang up the phone. God, how many times had those words slipped past Harvard’s lips in the years they’d been friends? It must have been countless but every single time, Aiden would  _ twitch _ and get a painfully sweet burst of life in his chest, only to remember it wasn’t directed at him. Perhaps if he’d looked in the mirror he would have seen the soft gaze upon him as the words were spoken. 

 

Harvard hung up the phone, wondering how tonight was going to go. The girl he’d be going with was named Alice - his parents had been very kind setting them up, but he knew it wasn’t going to work out (for obvious reasons). Regardless of this fact, he’d still do his best to help her have a nice night - apparently she’d been looking forward to it for weeks - but from the texts the two had shared, she was more thrilled at the chance to see some friends from rival schools that she hadn’t been able to visit in ages. Harvard understood her stress, academic pressure was incredible in their private school district and it was brutally competitive. His mind slipping elsewhere, Harvard thought back to a few seconds ago and pursed his lips slightly. It happened again. 

 

He’d screwed up and said those words in front of Aiden. Fortunately (or unfortunately? Now he wasn’t quite so sure) he hadn’t been caught looking at Aiden with what was undoubtedly an unfriendly expression. Not a mean one, just...One that was too open, too unguarded. He couldn’t afford to keep repeating this mistake - he’d seen how Aiden would react whenever he said it. The faintest creases in his forehead (ones Aiden would deny existed but Harvard secretly loved) would appear and his beautiful face would be dragged down into a frown. Harvard knew Aiden had issues regarding love - not just romantic, but love in general. 

 

Since he was little, Harvard knew Aiden was more aware of love than the average kid. When Aiden’s parents divorced, the little boy had been crushed - but it was only worsened once his birth mother died. After that loss, Harvard had witnessed Aiden go through a series of ups and downs watching his father date other women. He’d noticed “They look kinda like mommy did!” but in the end they were nothing more than substitutes, a cruel series of stand-ins for a role that would never be replaced. It was almost seasonal, the way they would file in and out of the Kane household, never lasting more than two years at the most. 

 

So it was only natural that whenever Aiden heard the words, “I love you,” he’d react. Initially when it happened Harvard chalked it up to coincidental shivering - they were fourteen and Aiden was probably just cold. He’d just said goodbye to his parents for the first time when they boarded at Kings Row and didn’t think it was a big deal, but after seeing the pattern (although subdued with time) repeat, it was clear to Harvard that Aiden wasn’t used to hearing those words and it hurt. Seeing his best friend self-destruct so intensely as they grew up together at Kings Row was one of the worst things Harvard had ever witnessed. It was like seeing a sunflower grow, leaning into the violent wind which tore off its petals with reckless abandon. He would never believe Aiden had lost any value through his actions, but he knew that whatever self-esteem Aiden appeared to have was mostly a veneer. 

 

To Harvard’s surprise, Aiden had been going stag this evening. He’d rejected all of his dates very diplomatically, claiming “I need to be a free man at least once before I graduate!” and left them disappointed but understanding. His ability to persuade sure was something else. A bittersweet smile creeping across the edges of his face, Harvard looked away from the object of his affections and asked, “Are you ready to go?” 

 

The yes he’d heard was slightly shaky, a crack in the strength which his friend held almost constantly. All of his life, Harvard had compared Aiden to ancient architecture - when he learned of Helen of Troy and her era, it was not her assumed beauty he found the connection to. It was the fantastical effort which surrounded her - the structures she must have lived around and in - the beautiful labors for domesticity, that was what made him think of his friend. For such an impressive edifice, Aiden certainly had his cracks - little meandering, spiderwebs intricately tracing and chipping apart the delicate bubbles in columns and brick. It wounded Harvard, but now was not the time to ponder what life would be like if he could help patch over the limestone breaks, the whittled down materials which composed his friend’s self esteem and very being. 

 

//

 

Seiji was listening to music when he heard his phone vibrate from across the room. After a long day of training and thinking far too much about how bad it would be to see Nicholas in a suit, Seiji welcomed the surprise. It was far safer than the alternative. Now that he knew what ‘gay panic’ was, he definitely did not need further inspiration for any, especially not now when he was supposed to be on his A-game. Seeing the notifications were from Harvard and Aiden, he quickly marked “as read” and ignored them. While their photos were probably adorable, Aiden still wasn't on his good list. Just because they suffered together didn’t mean Aiden was a good person by Seiji’s standards, or at all. 

 

Returning his focus to his playlist, Seiji wondered what it would be like if he weren’t queer - or if he were out to his dad. Would he feel less stressed about this experience? Scrunching his nose up in disgust, he knew he didn’t want to be straight - he just wanted to feel less...alone. A ridiculous notion, really, he brushed off with the voice of Nicholas reverberating in his head, calling their team a “pride”. He circled back to the thoughts of his father knowing, and instead of the typical pang he felt a sense of hope. With all of the heartache he’d heard from Aiden, Seiji found himself looking on the bright side. Sure, he would still be worried about his father’s approval - but so long as he kept up the act of disinterest, perhaps he could try and actually date while younger. The idea brought a smile to his face, warmth flooding his cheeks as he thought of brown eyes and Nicholas’s trademark hotheadedness. 

  
  


Recollections of candlelight twirling - yes, he’d admit it to himself and no one else - and late night adventures flashed through Seiji’s mind and he slapped a hand to his forehead trying to banish them from his brain. Being distracted would not help him bring his A-game tonight, and he needed to be on it. Bringing himself over to the mirror above their sink, Seiji examined himself one last time. His skin looked fine, his hair was immaculate and his suit was crisply fitted. He smiled softly seeing the little details the iron had left on it - the creases bringing back memories of rushing to formal events with his parents. His mother always made him wear his dress socks in his fancier shoes, and the uncomfortable seams resembled the indents left in the cloth. It was a sweet recollection to have, and he found himself soothed by it. 

 

Naturally it wouldn’t last. About as soon as Seiji had breathed a sigh of relief, releasing the tension in his shoulders, the object of his distraction reentered the room, slamming the door open and cursing apologetically. 

 

“Shit, sorry Seiji - I was in a rush.” 

 

Seiji willed himself not to turn around. He knew Nicholas had been busy getting ready with Bobby and Dante, and although he knew he would have to see Nicholas in a suit at SOME point tonight, he figured he’d be less...prone to acting on impulse if that reveal were in a crowd. After all, witnesses weren’t something Seiji sought out, PDA was one of the worst things ever. 

 

Eugene’s voice echoed down the hallway and as he raised his eyebrows in a surprises, hopeful expression Seiji heard a knock on the wide-open door. 

 

“Hey, uh, can I come in?” Eugene sounded a little nervous, Seiji noted - and allowed himself to turn around. 

 

He saw Eugene first, right hand raised behind his head, scratching at his hair with a sheepish smile across his face. His espresso colored hair was styled back a little more than normal, appearing a tad gelled. Uncharacteristic of the normally playful and laid-back guy in question, but it suited him well. Mimicking Aiden and Harvard’s dramatic flair, Eugene had gone for a maroon suit with a gorgeous black shirt underneath, the color scheme enhancing his eyes and bringing a glow to his skin. He looked good, and Seiji was impressed. 

 

When Seiji blinked and turned his attention to Nicholas he felt himself choke. Nicholas was in a silvery-grey suit that accentuated his shoulders beautifully, and although it didn’t fit him perfectly it was clearly a great choice. Seiji didn’t know whether to thank or hit Aiden for gifting it to Nicholas. Depending on how the night went he’d decide on that action. 

 

It was at that moment Nicholas tried to put on his tie, asking Eugene to help him with it and Seiji witnessed an atrocity. Okay, Seiji was a stick in the mud - he’d admit it, but seeing some butcher tying a tie like this was downright offensive, even to those who weren’t as uptight as him. He had to step in. 

 

Moving without thinking, Seiji gently slapped Nicholas’s hands away from the lavender fabric, smoothing it out as it hung delicately in his hands. In seconds Seiji had maneuvered tying the soft material and carefully tugged, bringing the knot closer to Nicholas’s throat, pausing and making eye contact for the first time that evening.  _ Big mistake _ . 

 

Nicholas looked dumbfounded and a little twitchy, like he had something to say but was holding himself back. Had Seiji crossed a boundary? Oops. Perhaps in being helpful he’d only hindered the progress he’d been trying to make. Before he could apologize, Eugene snickered. 

 

“If that wasn’t the most domestic thing I’ve ever seen…” He trailed off, eyes glimmering with humor. 

 

Seiji was grateful for the interruption, because it made Nicholas start laughing and took some pressure off him. Feigning indignance, Seiji pretended he found Eugene’s comments rude. 

 

“It was an abomination, I’m not going to be spending my night worrying _ this one _ will make the wrong impression.” Huffing softly and looking away, nose turned up slightly, Seiji was confident in his performance. Eugene might not have been as convinced, but whatever reservations he may have had, he didn’t let on. 

 

“Shit, we gotta go-” Nick blurted out, right arm raised and bent towards him as he looked at his watch. Seiji had a temptation to mimic his motion, if only for the sake of physically illustrating how mirrored he felt with Nicholas. Perhaps he was being dramatic, but the way they balanced one another out was incredibly beautiful to him. 

 

As the three hurried down the hallway, Eugene making the first of what would be many references that night, calling it “formal speed-walking”, Nick looked eagerly ahead to see Aiden and Harvard’s door. 

 

Now that it was the night of the dance, all of Aiden’s admirers had given up on trying to convince him last minute to forgo his decision to “go stag”. With that resolution, the door had been delicately cleaned of all love declarations and increasingly desperate notes begging him to attend as a plus one. Now the wood was clean, spare for a few spots of glue residue. Nick wondered where all the notes went. Maybe he’d ask later. 

 

Shaking off the feeling of curiosity, Nick knocked gently just in case. Just because the door was open didn’t mean the timing was quite right, and no one wanted to bother Aiden if he wasn’t ready to talk to people. 

 

“Come in!” Harvard’s voice boomed, a tad too loud for the setting. Entering carefully, they were greeted with smiles -  _ well, Aiden’s trademark smirk didn’t really count? _ But it was close enough. 

 

Harvard clapped his hands together, beaming as he saw the group. His eyes stopped when he saw Nicholas,  _ more so what he was wearing _ \- “Aiden? Did you give him that?” Wonder filled his words, a feeling of warmth and awe spreading through his chest as he smiled brilliantly at his best friend. 

 

“Tch, it didn’t fit me anyways,” Aiden snorted, dismissing the question and its implication. Despite this, Harvard could see the faintest curl upwards on his lips. It was rare that Aiden was so generous, especially to people other than him - so Harvard knew he must have felt pride at the act. Maybe Nicholas’s impact on the team was helping bring a kinder Aiden out. 

 

Hearing his phone ding, Aiden reached in his pocket and cursed. 

 

“If we don’t run we’re gonna be late for Bobby’s carpool ride,” and with that, everyone launched into action. 

 

Bobby’s abuelita had volunteered to drive the boys to the hotel where their dance was held, and everyone (spare for Kally and Tanner, who already had plans) had immediately accepted upon hearing the offer. No one wanted to break her heart or inconvenience her. As they jogged down the stairs and swung on the handrail as they reached each lower floor, Eugene filled Nicholas and Seiji in on how she had shown up to every match for years to support the team, even though Bobby didn’t make it on. 

 

Screeching to a halt in front of them, Nicholas held his arm out - he’d almost knocked Bobby over. In all his glittery glory, Bobby stood before them looking like sunshine. In the time since he’d seen him, Dante must have woven some flowers into Bobby’s hair, the pink petals bringing some extra brightness to his disposition. 

 

Bobby directed them over to the van, feeling surprised when Dante beat him to its doors and held one open for him. 

 

“Oh, do you guys mind-” he began, hoping they wouldn’t find it rude if he entered the car first. 

“Get in loser, we’re going dancing.” Aiden finished for him, earning a few snickers from the group. Bobby noticed Seiji didn’t really seem to get it (but he looked like he was trying). 

 

As he carefully slid into his seat, adjusting his dress, Bobby felt a little bad when the other boys piled on in, greeting his abuelita with thank yous and one-armed hugs over the driver’s seat. None of them were sitting next to him. Why was that?  _ Oh _ . 

 

That’s because there was now an entire Dante next to him, looking a little less than comfortable all squished up in the van. Bobby frowned a little, feeling guilty his friend wasn’t accomodated even in the large van. His expression faltered, however when Dante met his eyes and there was that familiar spark of joy in them.  _ Good, Dante was okay.  _ Turning to face out the window partly so he wouldn’t get carsick (and mostly so his blush wouldn’t be so obvious), Bobby ‘accidentally’ reached his hand a little closer to Dante’s and slowly, a master of the “oops, I was ‘unintentionally’ affectionate’ art, intertwined their fingers.  _ Nice _ . 

 

The rest of the ride consisted of the group singing along to songs from their childhoods and movies, and wondering how Kally and Tanner were going to look when they arrived. They were the only couple that was actually going as dates, and Nick laughed when he heard Kally had just about lost his mind fussing over Tanner’s “stubborn ginger hair,”. With any luck, they’d be able to greet them at the door before entering. 

 

//

 

Upon arrival, Eugene was buzzing with energy but this time around he seemed to be ready. His hair was slightly messed up but it was a good look, and the boy was off to find his target. Nick and the others wished him well, and Harvard muttered something about remembering to have fun, and Nick cackled as he poked the team captain, informing him that he didn’t have to worry about that. 

 

A few minutes later, Aiden had finally tracked down Kally and Tanner who were standing with some of their friends from a rival school. The girls by them were dressed in gorgeous gowns, one fuschia and the other a sunshiney yellow, looking not unlike a sunflower. They introduced themselves as Rani and Ileana, and were incredibly sweet. Not wanting to intrude further, the boys went their separate ways and that meant Harvard was off to find his official date. 

 

Aiden slumped by the biggest punch bowl (there were several, as at least four schools combined for this event), lurking in the shadows as he tried not to watch his best friend so earnestly seek out a girl he didn’t know well at all. Why couldn’t Harvard look for  _ him  _ that way?  _ Well, you live together and spend almost all your time together so why would he need to try so hard?  _ His unhelpful brain supplied. With a snarky reply of “rude”, Aiden scoffed a little too loudly and caught the attention of another senior who was pouring a small flask into it. Normally he’d report that bitch and not indulge, but this time he figured he’d play up the drama a little just to take his mind off things. 

 

Pretending not to have noticed, Aiden ladled out a cup’s worth of the saccharine, sticky beverage and choked it down. God, this stuff was cheap and the friendly “addition” didn’t make it any better. Stomach turning at the revolting liquid, Aiden waited a little while, quietly warning people who came up to get a drink that it was spiked. It wasn’t a particularly fun way to spend the first half hour of his night, but while he waited for the drug to kick in and take over he deliberately mussed himself up a little more. His suit became slightly rumpled, his sleeves uneven and his footing a bit messy, but it was all part of the plan. He winced as he yanked out a few of his hairs, placing them very visibly on the outer rim of the bowl so people would avoid it

 

Strutting out majestically, Aiden channeled the spirits of his idols (his mother, Naomi Campbell) and began dancing, making certain his inebriation was a little visible so when phase two of the “Keep Myself Occupied While Harvard is Out Being Unattainable” plan began, he would be more believable. Soon enough, some people began approaching him with ill-intent in their eyes and he prepared himself for what was about to come next. 

 

He danced with a few people, internally disgusted with how handsy they got, but when he caught a glimpse of Harvard’s suit the pang in his chest was enough to embitter him to ignore it a little while longer. Feeling himself become more inhibited, Aiden knew it was time to get messy. He began clinging onto the boy he’d been practically grinding on, acting whiny and brattier than he actually was. He hoped one of the chaperones would pick up on his behavior soon. Judging by the authoritative steps coming up behind him, his plan was working. He felt a hand on his shoulder and a strong tug away from the boy he’d latched onto. 

 

A familiar voice resonated in his ears, making his blood chill. 

 

“Aiden? You don’t look so good.” 

 

Shit. 

 

Harvard had seen him in his disastrous state and was now guiding him away from the small, predatory crowd that had formed around him. Aiden could feel waves of embarrassment - and was that nausea? - doubling over him as Harvard brought him outside the ballroom to the lounge area, sitting down next to him and stroking his back gently. 

 

“Where’s your date?” Aiden snapped, some of that internalized bitterness finally making it past his lips. He covered his mouth quickly afterwards, earning a worried lunge from Harvard who had somehow snagged a small trash can from nearby. 

 

“I’m not gonna barf,” he sighed, resigning himself to his fate. Here he was, being a jerk - and a sick one at that - because he couldn’t get over seeing his best friend have some fun. While he got caught up in his misery, he almost missed hearing Harvard’s response. 

 

“You’re not? Okay, good. I’m not really great with sick people, so let’s hope it stays that way.” Harvard smiled weakly, his other hand running along the front of his right thigh in an anxious pattern. 

 

As they waited a few minutes in silence, Aiden prompted Harvard again. “You didn’t answer my question.” His words were slightly slurred, and he was internally kicking himself for asking. Why did he do that? He didn’t want to hear about how great their date was going, or about how mad this girl must be at Aiden for ruining their night.  _ God, how much had he fucked this one up? _

 

“Katie’s over with her friends. She really wanted to see them tonight…” Harvard’s voice softened, trailing off at the end. 

 

Aiden sensed he wasn’t being told the full story here. Sliding closer, he leaned his head onto his left hand and faced his quiet friend. Meeting his eyes, he silently asked _ “What happened?”  _

 

Harvard’s face looked a little grim at that moment, but he sighed and spoke quietly. 

 

“We never really wanted to be a thing, so we just took some photos to send back to our parents and agreed to say it wasn’t a match.” Aiden’s eyebrows raised in shock. 

 

“You did what?” Even through his slurred speech, the wonder was clear in Aiden’s words. 

 

Harvard buried his face in his hands, a trademark move on the rare occasion he blushed. “We faked the date, we’re not interested in each other.” Sliding his fingers down the sides of his face, Harvard looked back at Aiden who met his eyes in disbelief. 

 

“Well why  _ isn’t  _ she into you? She sounds fucking dumb.” Oof, the alcohol had definitely tampered with Aiden’s filter and the consequences were sure to come. Oh well, might as well go out with a bang, all this drama was what he’d wanted, right? 

 

“Aiden - she’s not like that, and don’t be mean to her because you’re my friend. I appreciate your support, but she doesn’t deserve that...She’s a really nice girl. She’s not into anyone at the moment, and I don’t think it’d be fair of me to date someone I don’t have feelings for.” At the mention of feelings, Aiden felt himself choke. He wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol trying to resurface, but he swallowed and tried to keep it together. He’d already blown his poker face tonight, if he said anything more he’d look like such an asshole. So why couldn’t he shut up? Why was he getting so emotional? Had he finally been worn down? 

 

Regretting the words before speaking them into existence, Aiden snapped out “When have you ever had feelings for anyone, Harvard? The entire time I’ve known you you’ve just been quiet and stoic while I’m a goddamn wreck because I can’t contain my own,” Aiden felt himself hyperventilating. No, no, no, no, no, this was  _ not  _ how he was going to do this - he wasn’t going to do this  _ ever _ . Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up - 

 

“ _ You’re so romantically withdrawn you can’t even realize  I’ve been pining over your oblivious ass for years! _ ” Aiden shouted, unintentionally drawing a few stares from around him. Oops. Feeling eyes all around him try to look away for the sake of politeness, Aiden didn’t even bother looking at Harvard’s expression. He was probably shocked, or worse - offended. In all the years of friendship they’d had, never once had Harvard complained about Aiden’s more affectionate mannerisms - but now that he knew Aiden’s feelings, perhaps he’d feel used, or lied to. God, Aiden really did fuck this up. Sprinting to the blocked-off garden with tears in his eyes, Aiden let himself finally break down as he took in the night air. 

 

//

 

Eugene breathed a sigh of relief. He’d finally caught the gaze of the overly pompous creature he’d be hanging out with tonight, Jesse dressed to the nines in a light blue suit which brought out his piercing eyes, accentuating his blond hair. It had taken ages (well, more like twenty minutes, but a couple of Ke$ha-esque songs and loneliness will drag time out for a dude) to finally get his target alone, and now it was time to go in for the kill. This first impression would determine how well his night (er,  _ mission _ ) would go. Bracing himself for impact, Eugene mentally played one of his ‘confidence’ songs he’d listened to in order to get hype before a match and walked over, ready to introduce himself. With a suave flip of his hair and a cocky grin, Eugene met Jesse’s curious eyes and said,

 

“Hey, you ever seen  _ Megamind _ ?” 

 

//

 

Kally and Tanner were off in their own little corner of the world with Dante and Bobby dancing beside them, Bobby singing along to every song that played. His voice was a little lower than expected - but it was fun getting to hear him. 

 

“Please tell me you’re joining KRC next year,” Kally begged, eyes glistening with hope as he looked at his sweet friend. His longer hair had been swept aside with a few extra bobby pins, the silver sparkles illuminated under the party lights. He and Tanner weren’t wearing matching suits - but they still looked great together. Tanner had suggested they do a subtle period-piece-cosplay what was totally  _ not  _ from a romantic comic Kally had begged him to read but ‘refused’. 

 

“KRC? What’s that?” Bobby replied, head tilting to the side, curiously. 

 

“Kings Row Chorus - you’ve gotta join, we have such a great time and Dante’s been in it before!” Kally exclaimed, arm reaching out to point towards Dante who froze quietly. 

 

Kally saw the nervousness on Dante’s face and continued, trying to backpedal any damage he may have caused, “Oh, he’s our accompanist, he’s really good at playing!” 

 

No one thought Bobby’s anime-eyes could get any bigger, but they were fucking wrong as they expanded and shone even more than normal. Bobby spun around, leaping and clinging onto a very startled Dante with glee. 

 

“You’re kidding me! Dante, this means we can sing my musicals’ songs together! Oh my god, we can do duets, and…” Bobby chattered on, spitting words out like a machine gun and putting Eminem to shame. Sometimes Dante didn’t know how he did it. Talking was hard. Words were difficult to choose and while Dante was definitely gifted at writing, speaking was something else entirely. He envied Bobby’s ability to express himself so fluidly, so off the cuff. He got a little too caught up in his thoughts, pausing when Bobby’s whining brought him back to earth. 

 

“Danteeeeeeeee you’re not hugging me back! Do you not want to sing with me?” Bobby was being a little too cruel with the Bambi eyes right now. Dante forced a blush back down from his face and awkwardly moved his arms a little, trying to signal to Bobby that he’d trapped them. 

 

“Oh, you can’t hug me back? Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” Bobby blabbered on, unknowingly earning a few snickers from Tanner, who was promptly shushed by Kally. They were muttering to each other, Kally clearly trying to suppress a smile as Tanner smirked and earned a playful arm smack in response. 

 

“You can’t just say something like that when they’re this close, Tanner - they could hear you!” 

 

“Hear what?” Bobby turned away from his hug, releasing Dante who frowned slightly. 

 

“Just a dumb joke, that’s all~” Kally played it off diplomatically. 

 

Slyly changing the topic, Tanner pointed beyond the three boys and said, “Hey, the photo booth is opening now.” 

 

Squealing and grabbing Dante’s hand, Bobby rushed off to find the booth and get them in line. It was time for their tradition to get an upgrade - selfies were cute, and they’d still totally take some, but there was something more tangible and nostalgic about the film strips they’d get after this. It would be another beautiful reminder of all the years they'd had together, and hopefully mark the start of a change in their relationship. Now all he had to do was be brave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to have another hiatus before I get the last part of this thing finished, it's going to be intense. Thank you so much for being patient, I'll write in a lot of fluff in the finale to balance everything out. <3


	13. Love Will Come Set Me Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya b wrote entirely too much cheese here, so I hope none of y'all are lactose intolerant. 
> 
>  
> 
> Song is a reference to Brett Dennen's "Ain't No Reason". If I haven't referenced it before in my writing, you can bet my bitch ass will in the future. It's one of the best songs ever. <3

 

“You’re kidding me, right?” Jesse’s voice raised in pitch, platinum eyebrows coming together with an adorable furrow between them. His suit wrinkled slightly as he leaned forward, resting his arm on the small table Eugene had guided them to after a few dances together. 

 

Eugene shook his head vigorously as he replied, “Nope, this bitch tried to tell me Megamind  _ didn’t predict incel culture _ . I mean, how could they not see it? Hal was literally right there, being an entitled, creepy nerd thinking he somehow deserved Roxanne because he wasn’t a ‘typical’ man. Ugh, so gross.” Eugene gestured vaguely while rolling his eyes in disgust.

 

“I can’t believe someone would be so blind - that movie is a masterpiece, I wish I had seen it more often as a kid -” Jesse started, getting interrupted. 

 

“Hey, have either of you guys seen Seiji?” Nick had interrupted their riveting conversation, and if Eugene was a more insecure guy, he might have told his bro to back off - but given the worried look Nick had on his face, now was not the time. 

 

“Um, I think I saw him at the entrance but since then I’m not sure.” Eugene thought hard, rubbing his fingers against his chin as he tried to recall. 

 

“Wait, Seiji? As in Katayama?” Shit. Nick could feel his eye twitching in stress. Now Jesse was showing interest in something other than Eugene’s great people skills, and if Nick screwed this up for him by being an Angsty Boi™ he’d never forgive himself. 

 

“Yeah, but I can’t stick around to talk - kinda trying to get to him ASAP.” Nick sputtered out quickly, trying to appear awkward and in a rush so Jesse would return his attention to Eugene, who was looking curiously between the two of them. 

 

His method appeared to work, as Jesse turned his head back to face Eugene and muttered an apology for not being able to help. Well, maybe Jesse was a dick but at least he was civil. 

 

Running a hand through his hair, Nick sighed and turned away as he thanked them for their efforts. As he started walking across the dance floor he tripped and felt felt a strong arm reach around him, keeping him from falling. Looking up, Nick was disappointed to see it wasn’t the friend he’d been searching for. It was that guy Harvard said he should talk to - what was his name? _ Ugh, whatever - probably doesn’t matter.  _

 

Hyping himself up, Nick ran his fingers through his hair and groaned a little. This setup was kind of ridiculous, Aiden’s ability to find the queer people on competing sports teams was beyond uncomfortable. How on earth did he do it? He may have been more...affectionate, but surely he hadn’t hit on every member of competing teams in their county, had he? 

 

Trying to look at least slightly suave, Nick felt his heart soar as he stepped closer and overheard this boy’s conversation. 

“Why isn’t your girlfriend here?” 

 

With those words, Nick knew he was in the clear. If this guy was dating someone and Aiden somehow missed it - there was no need for him to awkwardly feign interest in order to try and get info out of him. He wouldn’t even need to give an excuse in case he failed, he could just be honest and explain the guy was taken and uninterested. With this newfound info, he could try to quickly ask this guy for their training videos and could duck out to handle more important things. Things like talking to Seiji. 

 

Flushing slightly, Nick almost didn’t realize he had reached the boy he was supposed to be targeting. Luckily for him, he didn’t need to awkwardly start the conversation as the boy in question turned to him and smiled. 

 

“Hey, you seem familiar - do I know you from somewhere? The name’s Caleb.” His expression was blindingly bright and demeanor so warm, Nick would never have told him but Caleb gave Bobby a run for his money. Choking slightly from the unexpectedly sweet gesture, Nick stuttered out his response. 

 

“Uh, I don’t think so? D-did you go to regionals this past spring?” Nick cursed internally, he must have sounded like such a creep. He didn’t even bring up fencing yet and now this guy must think he was some stalker. 

 

“Which sport? I do several, so you need to be more specific.” 

 

“Oh, fencing - I’m with the Kings Row team this year, how about you?” 

 

At this, Caleb deflated a little and Nick wondered what he did wrong. 

 

“I’m not on the Exton team this year - I had to drop it because it wasn’t working with my schedule, and I wanted the free time to see my girlfriend.” 

 

Nick frowned, eyes drooping in a show of solidarity. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-” Caleb interrupted, cutting the sad tone short. 

 

“Oh, dude you’re totally fine - I just miss it a little, that’s all. It’s much better that I’m seeing Veronica - that’s my girlfriend.” 

 

Bringing his phone out, Nick started scrolling through a little bit, pretending to look for something important. 

 

“I’m glad you’re seeing her, man. Not to be rude, but don’t you guys have a Twitter or something? It’s kinda dumb if you don’t have some way of keeping up with the team. Kings Row does, and I’d  _ hate _ ,” Nick smirked, layering on the sarcasm thickly for the next part “for Kings Row to be ahead of Exton on something so simple.”

 

Caleb’s grin returned full-force, as he whipped out his phone and pulled up his search engine. 

 

“Wait a second, we do - do you wanna see it?”  _ Bingo _ . 

 

As the videos Caleb pulled up played, Nick smiled and casually typed down the handle for their media - it was some ridiculous mashup of numbers and letters, something you’d see in a hyperlink, which is probably why it was so impossible to find. Thanking Caleb and saying goodbye, Nick set off again to find Seiji once and for all. 

  
  


Kally and Tanner were people watching. After several fast-paced dances together (the majority of which Tanner had tripped over Kally’s toes and apologized profusely), the two were a bit tired and wanted to take a rest. For whatever reason the punch bowl Kally had spotted Aiden at earlier had been removed and seemingly emptied, so they had to resort to the smaller ones with different, less popular flavors. 

 

Lips turning purple from the artificial beverage, Tanner looked to Kally and asked, “Do you think they’ll get it together tonight?” Kally choked, almost spitting out his strawberry flavored drink, resulting in Tanner worriedly patting his back. 

 

“I-I’m fine, Tanner,” Kally coughed. “But which people are you talking about?” 

 

“Aiden and Harvard, obviously. Have you  _ seen  _ how needy Aiden’s been looking tonight? I almost feel bad for the guy.” Shaking his head, Tanner continued softly, “He thinks he’s some kind of island but I swear, anyone who knows him can tell.” 

 

Kally nodded, black hair swishing back slightly over his forehead. Grabbing his boyfriend’s hand, he looked towards the dance floor and hoped Tanner would pick up on his intent. Talking about their friends being sad was a bit too much for him right now, and he needed a break from drama. 

 

Following him carefully, Tanner squeezed his hand slightly and earned a small smile from Kally. As they made their way back, they missed the splash of blonde hair flowing as Aiden ran by. 

  
  
  


Tears in his eyes, Aiden wondered how on Earth it had come to this. Twelve years of pining and friendship and now he's blown it by sharing the one secret he’d never intended to divulge. He walked a little further away from the doors he’d entered through, coming across a beautiful sight. 

Along the side of the brick walls, some Chinese wisteria and ivy had been growing together. The luscious mix tangled together beautifully, the delicate beauty of the flowers juxtaposing their wooden-looking vines while the resilience of the ivy held everything to the wall. Pressed up against it was a small bench, composed of concrete and quartz, the latter shining in the moonlight. 

 

Aiden shivered, sniffling growing softer as the night went on and the stars became clearer. The sky was so beautiful and the air so crisp, it would really be the perfect place to... _ No, stop thinking about kissing Harvard.  _ Slapping his face, Aiden shocked himself a little. It was so quiet out here that the slap resonated a bit, and the adrenaline rush made him hear his heartbeat. Maybe he could just stay like this. Resting out here in the cold, beautiful night as he let himself feel. For so long he’d been suppressing his emotions and denying himself his affection towards his best friend that letting everything out and into the open was a bizarre experience. 

 

It hurt, but in a good way. The hot tears began streaking down his face, scalding as they fell and Aiden embraced it all. If this was how it had to be, him crying as he finally suffered the consequences of confessing to Harvard, then he would handle it as best he could and begin healing. 

 

The door swung open. 

 

Aiden jolted, wondering where the hell he should hide - it was probably some stupid chaperone who’d come out to smoke, or worse, had noticed him leaving - and ducked behind a small bush. He knew he’d be spotted, but what he heard next threw him crashing backwards into the wall. 

 

“Aiden?” Harvard sounded worried, but what came across to Aiden the most was the hopeful lilt to his voice. Could he be happy about Aiden’s outburst? 

 

“Aiden? I know you’re out here, I’ve looked everywhere else. Please come out, I really need to talk to you.” 

 

Should he? Or shouldn’t he? Aiden rose up, unthinking as he waited for Harvard to hear the rustle of the bush as he stood and faced him. Green eyes meeting brown, Aiden choked on air. 

 

Lips pursing in embarrassment, Aiden felt himself try to look away but couldn’t. Harvard’s eyes were glistening beautifully in the moonlight, and while he stood rooted to his spot his heartbeat pounding overshadowed the sound of footsteps as Harvard approached him. 

  
  
  
  


Seiji was torn. This party was entirely too loud for his liking, and the music wasn’t exactly to his taste. It was a very uncomfortable experience and any time he looked past a girl she’d think he wanted to dance. Don’t get him wrong, it was a very flattering experience but it wasn’t the same. The dances weren’t as passionate and therefore less fun - and when you’re dancing with someone you can’t develop feelings for? It just doesn’t compare. 

 

Politely thanking the last girl he spun around, Seiji wished her a good night and went to get something to drink. The saccharine liquid was awful, but without the option of water he had to do with what he could. Sipping away, he let his gaze wander over the bustling crowd, subconsciously looking for a now less-shaggy looking mop of brown hair. Ah, there it was. 

 

Nicholas was over talking to that boy Harvard had assigned him, and it looked like things were going well between them. A flicker of jealousy started in Seiji’s stomach, twisting into something ugly until he breathed and reminded himself that they barely knew one another - it was hardly as if Nicholas was getting engaged to this stranger! And besides - he and Nicholas weren’t dating, so it wasn’t his place to say or ask what Nicholas did with others. 

 

Wincing at that fact, Seiji focused on Nick’s slight smirk from afar as the mischievous boy typed in something on his phone. Mission accomplished? Definitely. 

 

Ever since the two had started hanging out more often, Seiji had noticed some of Nicholas’s mannerisms and recognized that as a smile of triumph. It set his heart aflutter and had him looking away, flushing as he tried not to look at the object of his affection. 

 

Steadying his breathing, Seiji tried to bring himself back to reality. He didn’t want tonight to be a complete waste of energy - he still had several hours until Bobby’s abuelita came by to pick everyone up, and if he was going to be stuck here he might as well make the best of it. That was something else he’d gotten better at since starting his friendship with Nicholas. He’d learned how to do emotional self-care in more constructive manners, than putting up the walls he’d felt he needed beforehand. Looking around, he tried to see if there were any sets of boys dancing. 

 

To his surprise there were quite a few - but as he looked closer, most appeared to be “dudebros” just having fun, with the occasional clearly pining friends-but-no-homo-bros staring longingly into each other’s eyes, oblivious to the rest of the world. He certainly didn’t want to intrude there, unless it would help someone get off their miserable ass and actually ask their friend out. Actually, maybe if he did that he could keep himself entertained and work up the courage to dance with Nicholas! Yes, that was a brilliant idea. 

  
  
  


Aiden stepped forward, pant leg catching on the bushes he’d hidden himself behind as he toppled forward. Oops. Faceplanting into the dirt, he heard Harvard cry out his name in concerned confusion as he felt what was definitely going to be grass stains work their way into his suit. This was so not cute. Ughhhh. Groaning as he pushed himself onto his forearms, Aiden was surprised to see a hand extended out to him, as Harvard’s friendly form crouched in front of him. 

 

He thought the waterworks had ended, but apparently he was wrong. Aiden felt the tears begin trickling down his face again as if they’d never stopped, and looked away in shame, apologizing softly. 

 

“I’m sorry. I must have caught you off guard with that and it wasn’t fair of me to say that.” Sniffling, Aiden wiped his runny nose with his ruined sleeve, hoping none of the dirt on it smudged onto his face. Meeting his best friend’s eyes, he saw kindness and something else brewing beneath the surface. 

 

Harvard’s hand reached his and gently helped pull Aiden up to stand in front of him. 

 

“Aiden,” Harvard started, his deep voice sounding softer than it had in years, “Don’t apologize.” 

 

Choking out a sob, Aiden could feel the words bubbling up in his chest, his list of reasons why he was wrong and Harvard should never forgive him - until he felt a squeeze and realized that hand was still holding his own. 

 

“Harvard?” Aiden’s voice cracked, fraught with emotion as he saw the sweetest smile form on his friend’s face. Was Harvard going to let him down easily? Was that was this was? Was he trying to smile to make it less painful? Because it  _ almost  _ worked. 

 

Aiden felt himself being drawn closer into a warm hug, Harvard’s strength coming through his suit clearly as Aiden let himself cry on his shoulder. As he sniffled a little less, he sensed Harvard pushing him away slightly and braced himself. This was it, this was the end. 

 

What he got wasn’t what he expected. 

 

Harvard’s mouth was soft and warm on his own, inexperienced and eager and suddenly Aiden couldn’t think. His knees were weak and his muscle memory failed him. All the years of kissing nameless, forgettable placeholders were useless to him as the chastest kiss he’d had since he was fifteen claimed his attention span. 

 

As the two pulled back, Aiden’s eyes glistened again - but with hope this time, not tears. 

 

“H-Harvard?” Raising a hand to his mouth, Aiden felt his lips. The ghost of their kiss still danced upon them, leaving him dizzy and confused, but in future years to come he’d say it never topped what he heard next. 

 

“I feel the same.” 

  
  
  
  


Nick felt a bump behind him, and turned around to see who had walked into him and was taken aback. Seiji met his eyes and smiled, a rare occurrence that was finally becoming more common. And was he? Oh hell no. There was another boy who Seiji had been dancing with, and from the looks of it, the other boy wasn’t even that invested in him - he was ‘casually’ looking over Nick’s shoulder at somebody else in a silvery suit. As Nick was about to open his mouth and ‘politely’ (passive-aggressively) ask Seiji to dance with him so he could try and tell him the other guy was clearly not worth his time (and okay, maybe he was tempted to drop some more hints that  _ he  _ was), he heard another boy’s name being called. And like that, the guy Seiji had danced with flashed Seiji a grin, muttering “Thanks” as the other guy grabbed his wrist and suavely brought him away. 

 

Turning to face Seiji who had the audacity to  _ wink  _ at him, Nick felt himself turn all sorts of colors before finally asking, “What the hell was  _ that _ ?” 

 

Seiji snickered, putting a hand over his mouth as if he were a child hiding a secret. 

 

“That was my last dance for tonight, well - at least with a stranger, I hope.” Since when had Seiji become this confident outside the Salle? 

 

“So, are you asking me to-?” 

 

Seiji blushed and stuttered, some of that feigned suaveness fading, “Y-yes, Nicholas, please. If you would like to.” 

 

Face burning even more than his counterpart, Nicholas took Seiji’s hand and together they moved to a more open space. The music was starting to slow down and Nick couldn’t help but feel his heart race. This was every shitty teen movie he’d ever seen - just the right amount of fuschia lighting and cheesy 90’s romance music playing in the background. He swore he could feel the  _ Lion King _ vibes creeping up on him as he and Seiji started moving with the music. 

 

Stumbling for a second with his footing, Nick figured now was probably a good time to be more bold. The party was fun, and the later it was at night the less of a filter people had, and he hoped that maybe some of that exhausted honesty would help him figure out where he and Seiji stood - and more importantly, where Seiji wanted them to be standing. 

 

“How’s your night been going? And were you dancing with somebody’s boyfriend?” Nick asked, a playful smirk growing on his face. Seiji looked away, delicately spinning Nick as they prepared for a dip. 

 

“Well, it’s been interesting. And no, they weren’t dating before I danced with him,” Seiji chortled, “But hopefully they are now.” 

 

As he laughed about the drama Seiji was telling him, Nick felt Seiji lining him up for their dip and in a moment of impulse, he reversed their positions. Carefully, and a bit awkwardly Nick leaned down, gently supporting Seiji while making perfect eye contact. As the song continued and he raised his dance partner up, Nick could have sworn he saw a blush on Seiji’s face. Did he go too far? 

 

“Sorry, Seiji,” Nick started, looking to the side as he held Seiji’s waist. 

 

“Don’t apologize,” Seiji blurted out, startling himself. Perhaps the adrenaline rush of dancing with Nicholas was getting to him. Could he use this to his advantage? What would he do if he was rejected? Feeling a sense of panic start to overwhelm him, Seiji thought carefully:  _ Let’s be rational. If Nicholas doesn’t want to go on a date with me, I’ll have my answer and it’ll hurt but I’ll be okay. He’s not a jerk so I doubt he’d be mean to me, we’d probably stay friends. How do I feel about being friends with Nicholas?  _

 

Fantastic. That was how he felt. With a bittersweet flow of emotion washing over him, Seiji started to be brave. Taking Nick’s hand in his own and matching Nick’s left to his right, Seiji asked, 

 

“Nicholas, would you want to go out with me?” 

  
  
  


Bobby was sparkling like an absolute deity, shimmering dress and hair clips accentuating his wonderful personality and Dante couldn’t be happier. He was a little too shy to snuggle up to his tiny friend, staying close to him with stiff posture - but this was okay. Any opportunity to be this near his best friend was worth the discomfort of sitting in the booth, and the stress he would feel. Sure, it sucked that he wanted to lean down, take hold of Bobby’s face and revel in its softness as he’d lean in...Blinking at the first flash of the booth, Dante heard the recorded announcing timer go off as Bobby giggled and tugged on his arm, trying to get him to do poses. 

 

The first one was simple, just cute peace signs and tongues sticking out. Immature? Maybe, but it was fun and wholesome - like Bobby. 

 

Their second photo was them holding up foam sword props that Bobby had begged him to bring in from the box outside. Bobby held one to Dante’s neck with a surprisingly aggressive look on his face for a second before giggling and breaking character as the camera clicked and the light flashed again. 

 

The third one came too quickly as the two of them were unprepared and laughing together, it would probably be blurry but that didn’t matter - they were having fun. The now familiar (and somewhat irritating) countdown of the booth’s timer began for the last time, and Dante readied himself for this. Sure, he’d have senior year with Bobby again but he genuinely didn’t want things to be the same. Lost in thought, he missed the cues Bobby was trying to give him until a hand grabbed his shoulder and yanked him, hard. Dante was often forgetful of how much strength his friend had, and normally he’d be busy imagining what kind of apologies Bobby would soon be spouting because hey, his shoulder kind of hurt - but Bobby was looking into his eyes with a familiar spark of determination, that glitter that drew you in like a magpie to jewelry. Before he could think, Bobby leaned in and awkwardly kissed him. 

  
  
  


“ _ What _ .” Nick froze, leaving Seiji to almost trip over his feet. The irony was palpable, and Nick was fully aware that the tables had turned. 

 

Seiji met Nick’s gaze unwavering, though there was clearly a storm in his eyes - not unlike the one when Nick struck that first hit. It was as though Nick was looking into a mirror, its surface reflecting all the expectations Seiji had for him, all the moments they’d shared bickering, bonding and now? Hope, determination and support. It was in that moment Nick realized he’d been staring for too long and hadn’t given an answer. Seiji’s mouth was moving but he wasn’t hearing them, shaking his head and getting back to reality Nick looked up and blinked hard. 

 

“For the third time, Nicholas, I asked if you’d want to go out.” Seiji was starting to sound more frustrated than embarrassed, although the faint flush on his cheeks suggested he was still a bit bashful in spite of the aggressive tone. 

 

“Oh. OH! Sorry Seiji I’m so dumb I just-” Seiji clapped a hand over Nicholas’s mouth, rolling his eyes in an exasperated manner. 

 

“Is that a yes or a no? Nicholas I’m not here to be humiliated I can take a rejec-” 

 

Nick grabbed Seiji’s hand and cut him off before he could screw this up. 

 

“I’m in, Seiji. I mean, I’d like to. Dance. With you. Again.” 

 

Facepalming, Nick blushed furiously as he was led away by his friend and tried to settle his nerves. This was going to end tonight - all this worrying, this second-guessing, this useless angst - it was going to end one way or another, and if he trusted his instincts like he knew he should, it could end happier than he’d hoped. Starting to pick up on the tempo of the song playing, Nick smiled softly and met Seiji’s eyes. They were softly gazing at him, with a twinge of nervousness near the edges. Yes, this would be okay. 

  
  


On the edge of the dance floor, Seiji saw Aiden and Harvard creeping back in from outside. Aiden looked like he’d been crying, but had a blissful smile growing on his face. Envy flooded his chest, grimacing until he felt a squeeze in his palm. Nicholas had noticed his expression and was giving him an apprehensive look, which Seiji dismissed with a gentle shake of his head and a stronger squeeze back.  _ He could do this.  _

 

As the song changed, Seiji took in a deep breath and met Nicholas’s eyes. Nothing else mattered right now. He didn’t need to worry about his peers’ opinions of him dancing with Nicholas, he could simply enjoy himself and spend this time with Nicholas. Reflecting back on the initial agreement, he smiled softly as he stepped backwards and Nicholas followed perfectly. Their footwork flowing beautifully contrasted the beginning so harshly, memories of bruised toes and frequent tripping made him chuckle, and as the music progressed Seiji felt himself gain confidence. 

 

Nick was thrilled, not only was he getting to dance with Seiji, he was getting the steps right! And Seiji just  _ laughed  _ in front of him - that hadn’t happened in ages! The other boy was radiant, and Nick let himself bask in the brilliance of his friend before him. Warmth blossomed inside his chest and Nick choked up slightly, overcome with joy. Everything felt so natural, like this was how things were always supposed to be - like every moment beforehand had led up to this conclusion. But that was exactly it, this wasn’t a conclusion - it was a beautiful start. Not realizing the song had finished and been replaced by a slower one, Nick was brought in closer to Seiji, the fronts of their boutonnieres brushing each other’s suit jackets. Nicholas looked down at the sudden intrusion, missing the way Seiji’s mouth dropped open slightly as he did so. 

 

Seiji had to file a formal complaint. Although he didn’t know Nicholas’s mother yet, he knew the poor woman would be drowning in paperwork from him, all forms filled with his frustration at her son’s cuteness. Nicholas was being entirely too adorable right now, and as Seiji watched his (hardly) shorter dance partner look down in confusion at the silly carnations, Seiji felt something shift again. 

 

The colorful lights danced on Nicholas’s features, highlighting his hair in hues of violets, reds and pinks, and the sweet atmosphere did nothing to help Seiji’s mind change about what he would do next. He regretted he wasn’t brave enough to ask first (a detail he’d later confess with embarrassment to an amused Nicholas), after all - he was supposed to be a gentleman through and through! But something about the moment felt right, and as Nicholas tilted his head back upwards after making an offhand remark about the flowers, Seiji’s eyelids lowered and he leaned in. 

 

All Nicholas felt was softness. It was as though he had been wrapped in a plush blanket, and the haze that settled over his mind was  _ beyond  _ pleasant. As he pressed back a little aggressively, Nicholas felt warm hands come up to cradle his face gently as his own hands traveled to his partner’s waist, gripping the luxurious fabric as he did so. 

 

After a few moments the two parted, eyes still lowered bashfully as their foreheads rested against one another. Breathing shallowly, Nick was the first to speak.  

 

“So, uh...Is this a thing now? Are - are we a thing?” His voice was far quieter than before, breath fanning warmly over Seiji’s face. 

 

Seiji started to tilt his head upwards, the motion raising their eyes to gaze into one another. Nudging his nose against Nicholas’s, Seiji laughed. 

 

Leaning back from their embrace, Seiji’s hands slipped to Nick’s shoulders as he said, “Nicholas, you’ve always had unshakeable -  _ often ill placed _ \- confidence.” As Seiji spoke he could practically hear Nicholas’s eyes roll as the other boy pouted. 

 

“It made you fascinating, even when we didn’t get along. It drew me in, and convinced me to believe in you. Don’t let that confidence waver now.” 

 

Nicholas paused, eyes wide before a smirk grew across his face. 

 

“Y’know, that’s an awful lotta words to say ‘yes’.” Nick teased, grinning as he removed Seiji’s hands from his shoulders and placed them in his own. 

 

“Oh, shut it.” 

 

“Never. You used to not speak to me unless we were fighting, I’ll take this anyday.” Nicholas stuck his tongue out, earning a pinch to the nose from Seiji. 

 

“Hey, now my voice sounds funny.” Nick whined, as the two walked over to rest. 

 

Mercifully releasing Nicholas’s nose, Seiji let himself fully relax as the two reached the chairs in the lounge area of the ballroom. Head leaning back into the soft material of the chair, Seiji felt himself tear up. He was still holding one of Nicholas’s hands and couldn’t believe it. He’d never thought he’d be this comfortable with himself on his own, much less with another person. All his cognizant life he’d worried about growing attached to people and revealing his orientation, he’d feared being bullied for it and mocked - but tonight he’d not only danced with several boys, he’d even kissed the one he’d liked (in public, no less!) and no one had bothered him about it! There was no whispering or ‘accidental shoving’, no creepy fangirls gushing over him and Nicholas - he was just background noise, left to his (well, unless you counted Nicholas) own devices. He blended in, and felt so  _ right _ . His anxiety had faded and what was left was happiness. 

 

Opening his eyes again as he looked at Nicholas, Seiji squeezed his hand one more time and thought out loud, “It’s going to be okay.” 

  
  
  


Naturally, Nicholas ruined Seiji’s train of thought and denied his statement only to one-up him with, “It’s going to be  _ great _ .” resulting in meaningless bickering until Aiden and Harvard showed up to join in until the dance ended and they were all ushered out to the parking lot. Standing out in the brisk night air, everyone noticed an air of tension had been lifted from each person, replaced by a sweet sense of familiarity and closure. As Eugene made his way back to the group after getting  _ all  _ of Jesse’s contact info -  _ which he didn’t need to ask for, by the way _ \- the gang piled back into Bobby’s Abuelita’s van and headed back to campus, crashing for the night.

 

As morning rose the next day, a new sense of tenderness lingered among the team as ‘secrets’ were still delicate, held close to the heart. Over time they’d be shared but in the waking hours of the new dawn, the respectful silence lasted and allowed room to adjust to the new changes. The tiptoeing would eventually cease, but for now it was time to enjoy the present and wait for the future.  

  
  
  


The end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. This took entirely too fuckin long and I figure I owe some sort of explanation? 
> 
> Life hit me like a goddamn freight train, backed over me and found a jet plane to crush me afterwards. Believe me, my dudes - it's been a steamroller experience. But stuff is getting better, and I hope that this chapter satisfies all of you wonderful people who have held on hope and waited for me to finish this fic. If I had known it would take me almost six months to finish this, I would not have published the first half of it so quickly - but I'm infinitely thankful regardless (haha thanksgiving joke) of everyone's patience. <3 
> 
> This is easily the cheesiest thing I've ever written so please be forgiving in the comments section below. Love y'all, night! 
> 
> PS: Prepare to be flooded with JJBA content.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god you did it!!! You go, bro!!! You finished reading!!! I'm mega flattered - please leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed! Subscribe if u want more!


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